Girl and Girl problems

[crazytown15]

my girlfriend and i (also a girl), have been together for over 2 years now. we've had some ups and downs, but overall are very happy together. we have a few good friends but decided we wanted to make more. we went to a big group meetup and ended up meeting 2 nice girls. we all exchanged info and everything seemed normal.(all contact has been through facebook or texts) my girlfriend and one of the girls really seemed to hit it off. they had very similar home and family lives. when i would try to chat with this girl we would talk for a little bit and it would always fizzle out. now, i'm a pretty jealous person already so i would always tease and poke at my gf about talking to this girl all the time, cause she was supposed to become "our" friend not just hers. after about a week we met up with this girl and her cousin for dinner and it was overall a success. everyone got along nicely. my gf and her have kept talking and they talk ALOT. it has made my gf and i distant from each other. now it's been about 5-6 weeks and just last night my gf told me that her and the new girl kissed. this was a complete shock to me because i wasnt aware that they even hung out without me. she said it happend about 3 weeks ago, and she lied to me about what she was doing that day, and went to visit this girl. they were sitting in a park and the girl leaned over and kissed my gf. no tongue, nothing serious, didnt even last that long. and then my gf pulled away and said she had to go.

 

my gf says it wasn't her fault because she wasn't the one that initiated the kiss, but i can't get over the fact that she met up with this girl fully knowing that i was paranoid about the situation already and had asked her to not see her without me (again, she was supposed to be "our friend"). oh and as a side note, the week before the kiss i found out my gf was going to meet up with girl to go to a jewler to buy an engagement ring for me (apparently the girl knew somebody, blah blah blah). anyway, i made sure my gf realized that she is completely to blame too, because of the flirting and the secrets and the meeting up with the girl behind my back. my gf claims she would take it back if she could, but they always say that.

 

after a long night of screaming, yelling, and crying we decided to try and make it work. i watched her delete this girls phone number and facebook account. and made her send a text letting her know that they cant talk anymore. even after all this i feel the ******* because i know its hard for my gf to open up to people about her family/home life, and its even harder to meet someone that understands it and has had a similar past.

 

am i an idiot for staying her? did i do the right thing asking her to cut off all ties with the girl? someone please tell me i'm not completely crazy.

[Sidz]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. My girlfirend recently admitted to having dinner alone with another guy, and had done so before without telling me. The problem with them not telling us is that no matter what they say didn't happen, it's difficult to believe them, and because they weren't honest, all of the trust we would LOVE to give them is reduced to how things look and what our brains do with the facts. This seemed unfair to my girlfriend, because she felt like I was disregarding who she is and how faithful she is to me, which I believe she is now. But when a bomb is dropped on you like that, SECRETS AND BETRAYAL!!! ring loud and often, and our thoughts run wild with hurt.

 

It sounds like you had it out with your girlfriend already. I think it's beneficial to have an objective talk about your relationship. You don't want to be in a hurtful relationship, and she doesn't want to feel like an untrustworthy cheater. So, you'll have to solve that scenario or end it. I hope you've asked all the questions you wanted. I had to keep bringing things up because I would continually think of new questions that would rot inside me had I not asked them. I think this is fair although painful for both of us. We've decided to keep going and thankfully have started having fun together and loving each other again.

 

You know your girlfriend and I dont, so I hope if your relationship is worth keeping, you stitch it up, heal together, and enjoy it together and if not, you break it off, recover quickly and find someone better. You're not crazy to feel this way if you've decided to be exclusive with one another. Hopefully you can heal and start trusting her quickly. Best of wellwishing to you!

Edited July 24, 2013 by Sidz