Women competing with other women?

[jakelongot]

I was just thinking about this the other day.

 

I don't I can fully wrap my mind around what it is like to be a woman competing in the dating scene.

 

As a guy, of course I'm competing with other single guys looking for dates. However, outside of money or expensive clothes we are all pretty much all competing on the same level. You need to be able to

 

Women on the other hand compete mostly on their looks and sexual nature. It has got to be tough going out and being modestly dressed and trying to compete with women who practically have their breasts hanging out or have on a tight skirt barely covering their crotch. Not to mention those who let guys know they are willing to put out.

 

What do you think of those girls who flaunt the goods? Does it bug you that you need to compete with these girls for guys attention? Does it or has it ever influenced you to act or dress in a differently (even for night) to draw more attention to yourself?

 

I would love some insight into how some of you women view the dating scene in regards to competition from other women.

[BluEyeL]

Well, the way I view it, I'm me, unique (everyone is unique), and I don't compete with anyone. It also matters what do you think one should be competing for. If you let it all hang, it means you compete for casual sex, and that's not too hard to get. If you are looking for a relationship, then I think finding the right balance between dressing well and a little sexy while not trashy, having a nice personality that matches the one of your potential mate's, having a stable life/job and a good character are all factors that weigh in. I never worried about competition from other women, I don't view it that way. It has to work with just one man, not with all you meet and the point is not to compete with anyone else, but to find the right match for yourself, one that you'd be happy with. So if you put yourself in the place of the selector, you don't compete, you choose.

[TigerCub]

I was just thinking about this the other day.

 

I don't I can fully wrap my mind around what it is like to be a woman competing in the dating scene.

 

As a guy, of course I'm competing with other single guys looking for dates. However, outside of money or expensive clothes we are all pretty much all competing on the same level. You need to be able to

If LS taught me anything is that statement isn't true.

Guys get insecure about:

- HEIGHT

- Confidence

- Body - how fit or muscular they look

- How easy it is for them to be funny and easy to talk to.

 

Those things vary from guy to guy and so, no I don't believe they are competing on the same level (outside of money and expensive clothing)

 

Women on the other hand compete mostly on their looks and sexual nature. It has got to be tough going out and being modestly dressed and trying to compete with women who practically have their breasts hanging out or have on a tight skirt barely covering their crotch. Not to mention those who let guys know they are willing to put out.

 

What do you think of those girls who flaunt the goods? Does it bug you that you need to compete with these girls for guys attention? Does it or has it ever influenced you to act or dress in a differently (even for night) to draw more attention to yourself?

 

I would love some insight into how some of you women view the dating scene in regards to competition from other women.

 

In my more insecure days I used to care about other girls, especially how skinny they were and the ones that seemed to have perfect bodies and weren't shy about flaunting it.

 

But as I grew up, and gained confidence and worked on my own body - I learned that not every guy is interested in the girl that shows off her boobs and wears a skirt that barely covers her crotch.

Sure, those girls get laid, but how long do they have the guy after that ... not long usually.

 

So no, I don't really worry about other girls. I do my best to do right by me, and who really cares what any other girl does.

[Adele0908]

I don't care what other women do, if they "put out" or not, or dress a certain way.

 

There is always someone hotter, thinner, younger, sexier. So there really is no point in "competing". I just maximize my potential and take care of my inner and outer beauty. Less stress and worry also makes you more attractive.

[TigerCub]

I don't care what other women do, if they "put out" or not, or dress a certain way.

 

There is always someone hotter, thinner, younger, sexier. So there really is no point in "competing". I just maximize my potential and take care of my inner and outer beauty. Less stress and worry also makes you more attractive.

 

The therapist I saw to get over my insecurities said something to that effect.

She added that beautiful isn't the same for every person and advised that whenever I saw a girl that seemed really pretty, instead of getting insecure, I should appreciate the pretty things about her, and to remind myself of the pretty things about me (not in a competition sense) but as a point that everyone has great attributes.

 

I liked that therapist

[jakelongot]

If LS taught me anything is that statement isn't true.

Guys get insecure about:

- HEIGHT

- Confidence

- Body - how fit or muscular they look

- How easy it is for them to be funny and easy to talk to.

 

I guess maybe for some guys. While looks and confidence help, at some point you are going to have to talk to a girl and try to pick her up whether you are handsome, ugly, rich, poor, short or tall.

 

The way I see it, women (even ugly women) can throw on a low cut top or a short skirt and enhance her sexuality to enhance her "desirability" (I use that term loosely). Guys don't really have that option.

 

I don't care what other women do, if they "put out" or not, or dress a certain way.

 

There is always someone hotter, thinner, younger, sexier. So there really is no point in "competing". I just maximize my potential and take care of my inner and outer beauty. Less stress and worry also makes you more attractive.

 

I completely agree with you and that is a very healthy way to look at things...in fact, i'm sure that's probably how most women look at it.

 

That being said, I'm curious to know what might be running through your head when you actually see those girls dressed up in slut uniforms? Doesn't it bother you a little bit that some girls take advantage of their sexuality to draw attention from other potential guy suitors?

 

It's kind of like the Performance Enhancing Drug situation in baseball. Yes they are not good for you...yes you are cheating the game...and yes you might not be interested in taking them, but doesn't it bother you that the cheaters are taking advantage of something is providing them an advantage? Even though you are not going to stoop to that level, their success is taking away your opportunity

[Divasu]

I'm not sure but this is adorable:

[TigerCub]

I guess maybe for some guys. While looks and confidence help, at some point you are going to have to talk to a girl and try to pick her up whether you are handsome, ugly, rich, poor, short or tall.

 

The way I see it, women (even ugly women) can throw on a low cut top or a short skirt and enhance her sexuality to enhance her "desirability" (I use that term loosely). Guys don't really have that option.

 

That list was demonstrating how it's not a level playing field for guys PERIOD.

 

Yeah guys can work on their looks (groom better, work out, dress better), etc.

It seems like a lot more effort than someone simply putting on a skanky top and a short skirt, but yeah guys have ways to increase their "desirability"

 

But yeah, I guess it sucks that guys can't wear pants that are so short they barely cover their junk and have that be appealing

[jakelongot]

That list was demonstrating how it's not a level playing field for guys PERIOD.

 

Yeah guys can work on their looks (groom better, work out, dress better), etc.

It seems like a lot more effort than someone simply putting on a skanky top and a short skirt, but yeah guys have ways to increase their "desirability"

 

But yeah, I guess it sucks that guys can't wear pants that are so short they barely cover their junk and have that be appealing

 

Exactly. We can improve ourselves with a little work, but nothing as instantaneous as showing a little more skin...

 

I think that's what makes the whole women competing thing even more interesting. Showing off some skin / being a little more sexually suggestive can yield immediate results. That's why i'm interested in hearing some experiences that women have had dealing with this competition. Isn't it frustrating to compete with another girl who is slutting it up? Especially if you aren't willing to objectify yourself and you notice it is working for the girl(s)?

[TouchedByViolet]

So how do I get women to compete for me?

[jakelongot]

So how do I get women to compete for me?

 

Ha! That is probably a discussion for another thread

[clia]

That being said, I'm curious to know what might be running through your head when you actually see those girls dressed up in slut uniforms?

 

I generally feel sorry for them. When I see younger girls (in their 20s) dressed that way, I worry they are dressed like that because they think that is all they have to offer. It's sad. Plus, usually they are teetering along in five inch heels (or carrying the shoes in their hand because they hurt their feet), barely able to walk, with their butt cheeks or crotch hanging out the bottom of their dress or their boobs hanging out, and it frankly all looks rather uncomfortable. (Do you want to sit on a chair where some woman was sitting with her crotch right up against the seat because her dress was so short it rode up? Gross, right?) One of the saddest places on Earth is Las Vegas at around 3 a.m. You see scores of girls dressed in tiny little dresses walking barefoot back to their hotel rooms.

 

Doesn't it bother you a little bit that some girls take advantage of their sexuality to draw attention from other potential guy suitors?

 

I'm typically not attracted to the type of guy who falls for that kind of thing. Anyone can put on a mini-dress and high heels to attract a man or have sex. It isn't that hard.

 

It's kind of like the Performance Enhancing Drug situation in baseball. Yes they are not good for you...yes you are cheating the game...and yes you might not be interested in taking them, but doesn't it bother you that the cheaters are taking advantage of something is providing them an advantage? Even though you are not going to stoop to that level, their success is taking away your opportunity

 

I don't aspire to one night stands, so I don't see them taking away any opportunity for me.

[Eggplant]

Isn't it frustrating to compete with another girl who is slutting it up? Especially if you aren't willing to objectify yourself and you notice it is working for the girl(s)?

 

I've never worried too much about the other girl's dress. I've worried about her figure, her hair, her pretty face. I always have assumed men could extrapolate to a certain degree underneath clothing and compare apples to apples. Apparently not?

[jakelongot]

I generally feel sorry for them. When I see younger girls (in their 20s) dressed that way, I worry they are dressed like that because they think that is all they have to offer. It's sad. Plus, usually they are teetering along in five inch heels (or carrying the shoes in their hand because they hurt their feet), barely able to walk, with their butt cheeks or crotch hanging out the bottom of their dress or their boobs hanging out, and it frankly all looks rather uncomfortable. (Do you want to sit on a chair where some woman was sitting with her crotch right up against the seat because her dress was so short it rode up? Gross, right?) One of the saddest places on Earth is Las Vegas at around 3 a.m. You see scores of girls dressed in tiny little dresses walking barefoot back to their hotel rooms.

 

Most women i've talked to about this feel the same way you do. Why would i want to dress so uncomfortably? Why would i want my boobs hanging out. Anyone could get sex by throwing on a mini skirt, but who just wants sex?

 

Still...so many women do it everyday. Why? Don't they think the same way you do?

 

I'm typically not attracted to the type of guy who falls for that kind of thing. Anyone can put on a mini-dress and high heels to attract a man or have sex. It isn't that hard.

 

Fair enough. But it is hard to tell what kind of guy is that "type of guy" just by looking at him. In fact, any guy could be vulnerable to those women at the right moment. He could still be an awesome guy. But if you rub a steak in a dog's face long enough, you can't blame him for taking a bite, you know? Doesn't mean he is a bad guy or "that kind of guy"

[jakelongot]

I've never worried too much about the other girl's dress. I've worried about her figure, her hair, her pretty face. I always have assumed men could extrapolate to a certain degree underneath clothing and compare apples to apples. Apparently not?

 

ouch! Give me some credit. Just interested in delving into the women's psyche here a little bit. Interested to hear a little candid feedback (this is the internet )

[Eggplant]

ouch! Give me some credit. Just interested in delving into the women's psyche here a little bit. Interested to hear a little candid feedback (this is the internet )

 

I wasn't being sarcastic! It was a genuine question. That's why sarcasm doesn't work as well without emoticons.

[jakelongot]

I wasn't being sarcastic! It was a genuine question. That's why sarcasm doesn't work as well without emoticons.

 

I'm not the kind of guy that really goes for the girl who dresses all slutty and I think if you talk to the women I've dated, they will tell you i'm a pretty decent guy.

 

That being said, if i'm single and feeling hits me just right...a girl who is flaunting it at the bar who is clearly sending signals that she wants attention might get hit on by me.

 

Doesn't mean that's what I'm looking for in a girl though. And she might take attention away from my usual type of girl who is what i'm looking for dating/relationship wise. She might have taken away another girl's opportunity of catching my eye (not trying to sound conceited, but giving an example here).

[Adele0908]

The therapist I saw to get over my insecurities said something to that effect.

She added that beautiful isn't the same for every person and advised that whenever I saw a girl that seemed really pretty, instead of getting insecure, I should appreciate the pretty things about her, and to remind myself of the pretty things about me (not in a competition sense) but as a point that everyone has great attributes.

 

I liked that therapist

 

She's right, there really is no point in playing the comparison game. You are enough as is

[Adele0908]

I guess maybe for some guys. While looks and confidence help, at some point you are going to have to talk to a girl and try to pick her up whether you are handsome, ugly, rich, poor, short or tall.

 

The way I see it, women (even ugly women) can throw on a low cut top or a short skirt and enhance her sexuality to enhance her "desirability" (I use that term loosely). Guys don't really have that option.

 

 

 

I completely agree with you and that is a very healthy way to look at things...in fact, i'm sure that's probably how most women look at it.

 

That being said, I'm curious to know what might be running through your head when you actually see those girls dressed up in slut uniforms? Doesn't it bother you a little bit that some girls take advantage of their sexuality to draw attention from other potential guy suitors?

 

It's kind of like the Performance Enhancing Drug situation in baseball. Yes they are not good for you...yes you are cheating the game...and yes you might not be interested in taking them, but doesn't it bother you that the cheaters are taking advantage of something is providing them an advantage? Even though you are not going to stoop to that level, their success is taking away your opportunity

 

When I was younger, around 18 or so, it did bother me. 10 years later, it doesn't. We are sexual beings, and sexual attraction is a large part of being human. Without sex we wouldn't be here. Women who dress in a way to make themselves attractive to men are just following their female instincts to be attractive, in my opinion. I don't even subscribe to the concept of a "slut uniform". What you consider slutty may not be slutty to someone else. In some tribes women go around almost completely naked....is that slutty? I remember a skit on Chapelles Show about African tribal girls Gone Wild, and they were topless and dancing. Now if you called those women slutty people would look at you crazy.

 

I have some dresses that are appropriate where I live, but that could get me arrested in another country. Im not hating on a woman showing skin, I've got a few "freakum dresses" myself. I choose not to let everything hang out, but I don't get upset at seeing a woman who chooses to let her assets show.

[clia]

Doesn't mean that's what I'm looking for in a girl though. And she might take attention away from my usual type of girl who is what i'm looking for dating/relationship wise. She might have taken away another girl's opportunity of catching my eye (not trying to sound conceited, but giving an example here).

 

Or conversely, you missed the opportunity of hitting on a girl who is more your type because you got caught up in the attire of a girl who isn't your type. So, the girl who is your type isn't the one who really missed out, because she was probably still getting hit on by another guy -- in actuality, you were the one who missed out.

[todreaminblue]

To tell the truth.......i hate competing with women......i am more a team player in sports and life.........would rather make friends than enemies.....i have backed down from competition in this sphere ....if a woman tells me that she likes a guy.....and i like him too...i dont pursue...that guy isnt for me i shouldnt have to compete for a date in my opinion .....its not sport......i thought about getting my ex back......from his affair...winning him back...making that my mission...i didnt do it.....my heart wouldnt let me.....deb

[Ruby Slippers]

That being said, I'm curious to know what might be running through your head when you actually see those girls dressed up in slut uniforms? Doesn't it bother you a little bit that some girls take advantage of their sexuality to draw attention from other potential guy suitors?

My potential suitors have always been mature men looking for a relationship, not just a quick romp - so girls in revealing clothes aren't competition.

 

When I see women dressed in a very revealing way in any setting, I usually feel sorry for them, because it's obvious they think that's the only thing or the main thing they have to offer - and it's probably not the case. Kind of like a cool guy flaunting his money as a lure.

 

Now, I have nothing against dressing sexy yet classy for hot dates, etc. - and I look good in this attire, so I don't worry about competition there

[Revolver]

Historically and its true today Women compete against other women with looks men compete against other men over power and economics.

 

This starts from a young age

Edited July 24, 2013 by Revolver

[thefooloftheyear]

It might sound hard to believe, but its true..

 

Ill avoid the attention whores and go for the Wallflowers every time..Who wants an attention whore anyway?...So get get to go out with her and she winds up batting her eyes at every swinging dick within 30 yards...

 

No thanks..

 

TFY

[crederer]

I disagree. I find women that dress tastefully more attractive. You don't need your boobs hanging out to look good, and the reality is when women do this they are attracting the wrong kind of attention if they're looking for a bf.

 

It's also an indication of self esteem issues, which I've been there in a relationship and it's very difficult to have a healthy relationship when the other person has said issues.