Women competing with other women?

[Tenbob]

I'm 5 foot 8

I'm a uk size 14 with large natural breasts

I am blonde haired and blue eyed

I dress to suit my curves , pencil skirts rather than flashing my cellulite in a mini

 

I've spent half my life wishing I was skinnier/prettier/less curvy and I cringe when somebody petite stands next to me because I must look huge. But then again because I've always felt like the ugly duckling I've found I've developed a personality which will serve me a lifetime . Even after my t*^$ have gone south and I'm old and wrinkly.

 

Looks fade

 

I'm still insecure though sometimes

[Emilia]

Women on the other hand compete mostly on their looks and sexual nature. It has got to be tough going out and being modestly dressed and trying to compete with women who practically have their breasts hanging out or have on a tight skirt barely covering their crotch. Not to mention those who let guys know they are willing to put out.

 

What do you think of those girls who flaunt the goods? Does it bug you that you need to compete with these girls for guys attention? Does it or has it ever influenced you to act or dress in a differently (even for night) to draw more attention to yourself?

 

I would love some insight into how some of you women view the dating scene in regards to competition from other women.

Actually I found this to be incorrect by accident

 

It was a little while ago now: went out for a friend's birthday in Central London, we are all pretty casual so I just wore my jeans and a pretty vest. All fitted and I'm slim so I wasn't wearing anything baggy or shapeless but still casual.

 

The club we ended up in was full of what you would probably call the Jersey Shore crowd (here 'The Only Way Is Essex' for cultural references): hair extensions, full-on make up, tits out, short skirts, fake nails, etc. We were the only ones not dressed like that. A friend even knocked a glass of red wine over me and I had to turn my top inside out

 

Yet despite all that and despite the fact that I was in mixed sex company, I got attention from some really nice guys.

 

Crowds are always mixed, people are after different things. If you are yourself you will be noticed for that.

[Eve]

I think I have always danced to a different beat and honestly I still can't work out whether I am a competitive person or not. Basically I don't view anyone as competition because I remain fixed on my own objectives. Not sure if this is to do with previously being a gymnast - focus has to be there 100% and the energy becomes a drive you feed until moves become perfection. If you have it in your mind that someone else is better, it can destroy the whole process of a move. I ADORE that sense of oneness when everything fits into place. That's what I seek out. So, overall I admire postitive characteristics in women, men, whoever and don't take much notice of everything else.

 

So, I dress how I feel comfortable and have no problem dressing sexily. It looks ok because I am ok with it. Sexy to me probably isn't that outwardly sexy though, lol. I just love that feeling off finding the perfect dress. Sexy to me is a glow, not a dress sense.

 

In previous days, if a woman was competing for a man, I would watch to see who he chooses. I wouldn't commit myself to competing against her. Couldn't be bothered. Neither may be suitable people to know.

 

I suppose chemistry and similar world views mean everything to me. Also, I don't like the idea off looking desperate. I just know in my gut when circumstances are favourable and don't question myself in the moment. See, I don't know if this is a form off quiet uber competitiveness or what?.. but it does work for me.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Els]

I'm not generally interested in men who actually want a relationship with those women you mention. If a man actually views them as my 'competition' - he can absolutely have them. I also sincerely doubt that such men are in the majority.

 

So, not been a problem for me.

[KathyM]

Women who have high self esteem don't consider slutty looking women to be their competition. They are not competing for the same men.

[TheGuard13]

You know, there are women who simply enjoy dressing "slutty". They find it comfortable, they like the way it makes them feel.

 

Not all of them, obviously, but not all women who do that are doing it for male attention, or for only that reason.

 

As far as competing...I think intelligent, reasonable people would realize that in many ways, dating is more about compatibility than competing on anything but a surface level.

[MissBee]

I don't think of dating as a competition.

 

I assume there will be certain men who like me and are attracted to me, where I am their "type" and others who aren't. I assume my "set" of men who like me, like me, and thus will approach me and I either like them back or don't. I never think of it as me having to compete for one or a few men with other women. I feel no inclination to dress "sluttier" because I see other women doing so, and if a woman is getting attention from men for doing so, my assumption is they want to have sex with her and I am not jealous or envious of that...in fact, if I saw a man falling all over a woman dressed in basically panties and a bra out, I would assume he wasn't my type anyway, so nothing for me to lose.

Edited July 26, 2013 by MissBee