Why do Christian's doubt other Christian's faith?

[irc333]

I had been to some of these singles minsistries in the past, and I met a lot of women there..that well....seem to question my Christianity.

 

Though I am looking for a Christian woman, I seem to come across these highly ultra conservative types that seem to question my "walk with Christ".

 

They cannot take my answer at face value, but they continue to pressure me with additional questions in an interrogation manner that they intend to even provoke doubt in me.

 

The question asked is usually: "Are you saved?" or "What is your walk with Christ like?"

 

And I would tell him, I've always worshiped, did the right things that Christ taught, and always felt him with me in my life and pray".

 

Then they follow up with, "So you've 'felt him', but have you opened up your heart to him and consider yourself 'saved'?"

 

I go, "Well of course, I have since I was a child been a Christian"

 

Then they can NOT take that at face value still ,instead of the typical "getting to know you process" you'd like to usually do on a date...they try to drill you further with questions.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I respect religion, but it's kind of funny how atheists or non-believers get tired of religion being pushed on them.

 

But...when you're already Christian? There's some "sub-class" of Christian that try to press THEIR beliefs on you?

 

I recall deciding to actually talk to Jehovah's witnesses once, because I was in a good mood.

 

I was enjoying the spiritual conversation with them, until they mentioned to me about the church at such-and-such address and I told them, "Well, I already attend church every Sunday at St Pauls"

 

And they are like "Oh! We have Catholics coming here too!"

 

Then I decided it was just a recruitment ploy than a friendly discussion about Christianity.

 

The whole, "You'll burn in hell if you don't join our church" ploy.

 

I think the whole "Being saved" act is just a recruitment process that's spread bout in an almost cult-like manner for those innocents that aren't spiritually mature in Christ.

 

But I find it un-Christ-like to make people doubt their own faith.

[TheFinalWord]

But I find it un-Christ-like to make people doubt their own faith.

 

Your assessment that many Christians are judgmental and do not give people a chance to grow is correct.

 

"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." - 1 John 3:18

 

I'm not sure if you are asking a questions or just venting? It seems that a particular type of Christian woman "ultra-conservative types (not sure what that means, please define)" annoys you, so just don't date them. I'm not seeing the problem. In the past I dated a Christian woman whose life goal was to adopt multiple children from China. Commendable, no doubt, but just not for me. She tried to put pressure on me about it, but I just let it go b/c there was no point in trying to persuade her that the Lord has given me a different vision. Beyond being a Christian, life-purpose compatibility is the core facet I seek when determining a mate.

 

My initial thought is these women were trying to assess what values you hold. Christian dating is often engaged with the underlying intention of leading to marriage. Really, it is more like courting than dating. Many men claim to be Christian but have no problems with pressuring for pre-marital sex. Women with strong conviction to refrain from pre-marital sex will often ask a number of questions early on in dating to gauge your intentions and compatibility. So, these women may just be trying to assess your values, life purpose, beliefs about the bible, etc. There is more to determining mate potential than the mere label "Christian". For me, that is only the basic requirement. Personally, I don't have a problem with discussing values early on, b/c I have nothing to hide and do not want to waste time dating if we are incompatible from the get-go.

[quankanne]

it's a kind of one-upmanship, that, in my opinion, is very ugly and reflects badly on them. But I liken it to bullying: There's something they lack in themselves that must pick on others, who they try to convince are "lacking" somehow.

 

rare are the people who can see the divine in others and reach out with the kind of joy in their hearts that God inspires. But they do exist, so don't let the people who act like Christians scare you away from these folks!

[HokeyReligions]

No one can make you doubt your faith. They can feed any doubts you may have or use questions you have in a mannr that twists that question into something that can be misinterpreted as doubt.

 

Christians come in all flavors, as a former minister once told me. There are hundreds of different chriet-based churches and everyone of them has dozens or thousands of individuals who interpret teachings according to their own experiences and needs.

 

Christians are only humans who make the same mistakes and suffer the same relationship hurts we see here on LS.

 

And there are those who join Christian dating services to find a 'nice' guy or girl but aren't really christians themselves. Maybe they want to be or maybe they don't realize that christians are flawed and there are cheaters and liars and drunks and abusers in churches too. Some may use Christianity as a filter because they've been hurt before or maybe they are afraid the guys they meet are the ones using it as a filter.

 

I was raised as a baptist. As a teen I went to a lot of different churches looking for a good fit. After a couple of family deaths and because of exposure to some very liberal teachers in public school and again in college I claimed myself as agnostic for a good many years.

 

I still have many questions and some doubts too but I do believe that there is more to life than our limited science can show us and I believe in God. If I were dating I would ask a lot of questions too. In fact my husband who attends church and is working hard to strengthen his faith and adjust his life to more closely follow Christ's teachings is one I constantly ask those questions.

[irc333]

I knew of a man, husband...that was married, his wife became Christian...now they aren't allowed internet in the house (as a geek, that's like nails on a chalkboard)...he's okay with it, he's kind of a backwoods kind of guy anyway. lol

[M30USA]

My philosophy:

 

Be hardcore and firm on sticking to Scripture. But be gentle on people's ability to live by it since we are all sinful and naturally do not desire God or the truth. The standard should not be lowered, however. Otherwise we begin to trivialize the grace and mercy of God. We have radically offended an infinitely holy God and he has chosen not to lower the standard (as some would suggest), but rather give us grace and forgiveness for not meeting the standard.

Edited July 25, 2013 by M30USA

[M30USA]

I knew of a man, husband...that was married, his wife became Christian...now they aren't allowed internet in the house (as a geek, that's like nails on a chalkboard)...he's okay with it, he's kind of a backwoods kind of guy anyway. lol

 

Well I just disconnected my television service. It was for 3 reasons: I don't watch it that much, I needed some extra money to pay for a new car, plus I think TV is trash.

[Mme. Chaucer]

The one-upsmanship among individual Christians, churches, and religeons along with "I'm a bigger expert on the bible than you are" do a great job of warding heathens away from the lord.

 

Is that supposed to be a good thing?

[pie2]

But I find it un-Christ-like to make people doubt their own faith.

 

I'm glad to hear that you have a belief in Christ, irc333. I pray that you continue to grow in faith, hope and love! So, what's your walk with Christ like? (heehee....I'm just kidding irc!!! don't answer that! )

 

On a more serious note, I often find that when I'm secure in my beliefs, I welcome questions or opposition, as it helps confirm the strength of my own convictions. :)

Edited July 25, 2013 by pie2

[TheFinalWord]

The one-upsmanship among individual Christians, churches, and religeons along with "I'm a bigger expert on the bible than you are" do a great job of warding heathens away from the lord.

 

Is that supposed to be a good thing?

 

No, you are correct, Christians are supposed to be humble. Most of that comes from ego and the desire to defend oneself. Most people revert to ego when someone attacks their belief system. If we "put on the Lord Jesus", we will have no personal ego, and our innate desire to defend ourselves will be subdued.

 

For those investigating Christianity, I would not recommend to use any human as a yardstick. The gold standard is Jesus Christ. When we start using humans as yardsticks, we will be disappointed because all humans fall short (some fall flat, usually Christians shouting the loudest haha). Everyone should seek the Lord on their own. It is an individual choice. If a faith is based on the actions (or inaction) of a fellow human, it will eventually be shattered.

 

[irc333]

Well I just disconnected my television service. It was for 3 reasons: I don't watch it that much, I needed some extra money to pay for a new car, plus I think TV is trash.

 

Yeah, and too many commercials. lol. WEll, at least you have the internet, right?

[sillyanswer]

I had been to some of these singles minsistries in the past, and I met a lot of women there..that well....seem to question my Christianity.

 

Though I am looking for a Christian woman, I seem to come across these highly ultra conservative types that seem to question my "walk with Christ".

 

I'm guessing here, having not been in that situation, but since you've identified that these are "highly ultra conservative types" perhaps the questioning is to find out if you're a similar, or compatible, "type" of Christian?

 

Is a "highly ultra conservative type" the type of Christian that you're looking to form a relationship with?

 

(I'm not even sure what makes someone a "highly ultra conservative" Christian... feel free to expand on that, if it's not off-topic.)

[Eve]

I guess the yard stick being measured is within trying to find out whether you consider yourself a cultural Christian or have an actual living faith. Hell, even Dawkins refers to himself as a cultural christian, lol.

 

There is a definite difference within practices and general world views.

 

On the internet I hear an aligning of political affillations more than faith, which I find very odd - then again, it is not the norm to really talk about religion where I live. I tend to personally term these persons as also being cultural christians as it is more about group membership and social standing/race than actually turning to The Christ.

 

So I think that is the measure. Cultural Christian or living faith? Match yourself with the one who suits your own standing.

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited July 25, 2013 by Eve

[taiko]

I had been to some of these singles minsistries in the past, and I met a lot of women there..that well....seem to question my Christianity.

 

Though I am looking for a Christian woman, I seem to come across these highly ultra conservative types that seem to question my "walk with Christ".

 

They cannot take my answer at face value, but they continue to pressure me with additional questions in an interrogation manner that they intend to even provoke doubt in me.

 

The question asked is usually: "Are you saved?" or "What is your walk with Christ like?"

 

And I would tell him, I've always worshiped, did the right things that Christ taught, and always felt him with me in my life and pray".

 

Then they follow up with, "So you've 'felt him', but have you opened up your heart to him and consider yourself 'saved'?"

 

I go, "Well of course, I have since I was a child been a Christian"

 

Then they can NOT take that at face value still ,instead of the typical "getting to know you process" you'd like to usually do on a date...they try to drill you further with questions.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I respect religion, but it's kind of funny how atheists or non-believers get tired of religion being pushed on them.

 

But...when you're already Christian? There's some "sub-class" of Christian that try to press THEIR beliefs on you?

 

I recall deciding to actually talk to Jehovah's witnesses once, because I was in a good mood.

 

I was enjoying the spiritual conversation with them, until they mentioned to me about the church at such-and-such address and I told them, "Well, I already attend church every Sunday at St Pauls"

 

And they are like "Oh! We have Catholics coming here too!"

 

Then I decided it was just a recruitment ploy than a friendly discussion about Christianity.

 

The whole, "You'll burn in hell if you don't join our church" ploy.

 

I think the whole "Being saved" act is just a recruitment process that's spread bout in an almost cult-like manner for those innocents that aren't spiritually mature in Christ.

 

But I find it un-Christ-like to make people doubt their own faith.

 

I'm guessing here, having not been in that situation, but since you've identified that these are "highly ultra conservative types" perhaps the questioning is to find out if you're a similar, or compatible, "type" of Christian?

 

Is a "highly ultra conservative type" the type of Christian that you're looking to form a relationship with?

 

(I'm not even sure what makes someone a "highly ultra conservative" Christian... feel free to expand on that, if it's not off-topic.)

Since about a third of the earth identifies as Christian of some kind it is beyond ultra conservative it comes down to how much you believe your particular corner of the Christian world is right.

 

Just as the Jehovah Witness evangelist, it could have been Mormon or Evangelic also, in the OP saw their target as not actually being Christian the Catholic Church would see that Mormon or JW not really a Christian. Or even if the other was a Quaker or Salvation Army member not a Christian because they had probably not been baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit unless they were raise Catholic or a so-called mainline Protestant church.

 

So in the dating process there is just a weeding out process. Especially in this case of christian dating where faith if not the primary is the first concern

[M30USA]

I've never questioned or judged anyone's faith. I refuse to even say that Hitler is going to hell--because I don't know.

 

But what I will argue to the death is Scripture. The truth is so valuable that it cannot be tampered with. The Bible says that we can literally perish for lack of wisdom. It also says the truth sets us free. So yea, I've been known to get into a debate or two around here about Scripture. Judge truth, not people's souls.

[M30USA]

when will you all admit that the mother of jesus was not a virgin?

 

I think I'll keep agreeing with the Muslims who say that Mary was, in fact, a virgin when she birthed Jesus.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm a little surprised that anyone would expect any large organization (using the term very loosely here), be it Christians, Muslims, or Rotarians, to be monolithic in it's belief structure.

 

Of course half of them are going to think the other half is full of sh*t and have gotten most of it wrong. That's what we do.

[xxoo]

I can't speak for the women you refer to, but I was raised in one of these ultra conservative "are you saved?" churches, and there is good reason they would be seeking a man with compatible (ultra conservative) beliefs. I could list the reasons, but there are simply many potential issues--up to and including concern that their spouse is going to hell. There is also the huge question of what the children would be taught. I was absolutely taught that not all who go to church or call themselves Christian are necessarily saved.

 

It seems that you judge her belief system, which is fair. The question served its purpose of screening for compatibility effectively, then.

[pureinheart]

OP- I've been judged and labeled most of my life for everything under the sun. Sometimes I care, and sometimes don't. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't.

 

I think it's more important for one to review their own walk, rather than reviewing another's walk...no matter what faith, or non-faith. To make observations is one thing, but to ask you the questions you state tells me they've already made up their minds without really knowing you.

 

I'd say Gods giving you a free pass here and an education of the type you don't need in your life.

[irc333]

Funny, she found it a bit "fishy" that as a Christian, I have never asked her once, "Does she go to church" or "What church does she go to?"

 

She never even gave me a CHANCE to ask her that question. Talk about pushy!

 

Apparently, I had a time limit to ask such a question. *shrug* She is apparently 'probing" big time with her interrogative methods on "What makes a good Christian husband in the household?"

 

of what the children would be taught.

 

She's 44, not likely to be having kids. I don't have kids, she doesn't have kids either.

[irc333]

So in the dating process there is just a weeding out process. Especially in this case of christian dating where faith if not the primary is the first concern

 

Right...I think her problem is the fact she is a NEW Christian...a Thai woman who was once Buddhist...and of course probably is taking it all too literally and forcefully.

 

I have been talking to a good female CHristian friend of mine about this.....she is active in the church, plays the organ...and is aware of the reality of the situations.

 

She is aware that there are both good and bad questions, and as long as the guy is at least "spiritual" she could give a rats behind about his salvation. As long as she respects her beliefs and she respects his...everything will be cool.

 

Basically, "If you're good to me, then I'll be good to you"...no biggie, no lengthy question/answer session about their "Testimonial" of how they came to believe in Jesus Christ.

 

I even dated a woman that didn't even believe in KISSING before marriage.

 

The one I'm talking to now, wanted specifics about what constitutes intimacy? Kissing with tongue or without? (She prefers without).

 

Yes, she got that detailed.

 

All that on the first meet (not even a first date?)

[sillyanswer]

Talk about pushy!

 

Kind of her to reveal this trait before you tried to take her on a date.

[pureinheart]

Right...I think her problem is the fact she is a NEW Christian...a Thai woman who was once Buddhist...and of course probably is taking it all too literally and forcefully.

 

I have been talking to a good female CHristian friend of mine about this.....she is active in the church, plays the organ...and is aware of the reality of the situations.

 

She is aware that there are both good and bad questions, and as long as the guy is at least "spiritual" she could give a rats behind about his salvation. As long as she respects her beliefs and she respects his...everything will be cool.

 

Basically, "If you're good to me, then I'll be good to you"...no biggie, no lengthy question/answer session about their "Testimonial" of how they came to believe in Jesus Christ.

 

I even dated a woman that didn't even believe in KISSING before marriage.

 

The one I'm talking to now, wanted specifics about what constitutes intimacy? Kissing with tongue or without? (She prefers without).

 

Yes, she got that detailed.

 

All that on the first meet (not even a first date?)

 

Honestly, from what you're saying, ain't nothing natural gonna go down in that relationship.

 

Hey, I believe in full disclosure, although with the first date (and if I were dating) I'd keep it light and just have fun, you know? Dating today sounds like an interview for a job or something.

[pureinheart]

Funny, she found it a bit "fishy" that as a Christian, I have never asked her once, "Does she go to church" or "What church does she go to?"

 

She never even gave me a CHANCE to ask her that question. Talk about pushy!

 

Apparently, I had a time limit to ask such a question. *shrug* She is apparently 'probing" big time with her interrogative methods on "What makes a good Christian husband in the household?"

 

 

 

She's 44, not likely to be having kids. I don't have kids, she doesn't have kids either.

 

Isn't it supposed to be fun? Dang man- this is my idea of a cool date (if I were to date lol) ...I would prefer it with a group (takes the pressure off) because then there's others to talk to. Everyone going out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant pigging out on a Tostada (you know the kind with the shell) and drinking 1 can of beer (or 5 ), then going Salsa dancing. No pressure.

 

Dude, why do people have to think about getting married? It was always the LAST thing on my mind...ESPECIALLY when first meeting them. Guys used to do that to me all of the time- need to change this and I need to change that...excuse me.

 

A couple of guys that I was off and on with tried that- I looked at both of them like they were crazy.

[irc333]

Meh, I'm too old for those "group dates", that's something best for the college kids or a church youth group. LOL.

 

 

 

 

Isn't it supposed to be fun? Dang man- this is my idea of a cool date (if I were to date lol) ...I would prefer it with a group (takes the pressure off) because then there's others to talk to. Everyone going out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant pigging out on a Tostada (you know the kind with the shell) and drinking 1 can of beer (or 5 ), then going Salsa dancing. No pressure.

 

Dude, why do people have to think about getting married? It was always the LAST thing on my mind...ESPECIALLY when first meeting them. Guys used to do that to me all of the time- need to change this and I need to change that...excuse me.

 

A couple of guys that I was off and on with tried that- I looked at both of them like they were crazy.