Why do Christian's doubt other Christian's faith?

[irc333]

Meh, I'm too old for those "group dates", that's something best for the college kids or a church youth group. LOL.

 

Plus...you don't want men in the other part of the group hittin' on your woman of interest. LOL Best leave it to a one on one where you can focus on each other.

[skydiveaddict]

I

 

But I find it un-Christ-like to make people doubt their own faith.

 

That's cause you're not catholic. Otherwise you would never doubt it.

 

Like Bob Dylan said: "I never could learn to drink that Blood, and call it wine."

[KathyM]

She was probably just trying to determine if you were for real, and actually were a practicing Christian, or were a poser who was there for show or for dating purposes. There are a lot of men who put on a false façade in order to appeal to Christian women, so she was probably being self protective and trying to weed out those who were not sincere. My sister has a faith that is very important to her, and when she was dating, it was important to her that she find someone who took his faith seriously, and didn't just talk the talk. She dated several men who claimed on their dating profile to be Christians, some even went to church, but when it came right down to it, their faith did not matter to them much. They pressured her for sex early on, some ended up having pretty nasty character traits, some were downright abusive and even violent. So she learned never to take what a man claims to be at face value. He needs to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. She did find a man who shared her faith and was genuine in his faith, and she married him. Being genuine and not a poser was very important to her. Sharing the same values and the same passion for Christ was important to her. The woman you encountered could have just been trying to find out if you were sincere in your faith. She probably met many who claimed to be but were not.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Funny, she found it a bit "fishy" that as a Christian, I have never asked her once, "Does she go to church" or "What church does she go to?"

 

She never even gave me a CHANCE to ask her that question. Talk about pushy!

 

 

Whether she questioned your faith or not, she's given you lots of clues about why it would not be enjoyable to get involved with her.

[Robert Z]

They cannot take my answer at face value, but they continue to pressure me with additional questions in an interrogation manner that they intend to even provoke doubt in me.

 

Run like the wind.

[irc333]

Funny, I know this Christian woman, who has a dating profile up...and is an avid Christian, I know her pretty well, and she does walk the walk...plays the organ, attends services twice a week...children go with her...real nice woman.

 

Anyhow, she said she deliberately left out the fact she was Christian in her bio. (with the exception of the "drop down" where she chose "Christian").

 

Some women put in their profile, "I'm a CHristian woman seeking the same in a man who is also close to the Lord".

 

But she never put any reference to that, and I found that rather unusual.

 

She said she did that deliberately, because ...let's face it...people online...are assumptive and judgemental and assume the worse about any characteristic listed.

 

She said she'd just explain her faith to them in person as opposed to be weeded out as a Bible beater immediately....when she's obviously not.

 

She claims with online dating if you mention anything about Christianity, they figure who ever reads her profile will thinkg, "Oh man, she'll brow beat me to death on our first date and try to convert me....NEXT!"

 

 

 

She was probably just trying to determine if you were for real, and actually were a practicing Christian, or were a poser who was there for show or for dating purposes. There are a lot of men who put on a false façade in order to appeal to Christian women, so she was probably being self protective and trying to weed out those who were not sincere. My sister has a faith that is very important to her, and when she was dating, it was important to her that she find someone who took his faith seriously, and didn't just talk the talk. She dated several men who claimed on their dating profile to be Christians, some even went to church, but when it came right down to it, their faith did not matter to them much. They pressured her for sex early on, some ended up having pretty nasty character traits, some were downright abusive and even violent. So she learned never to take what a man claims to be at face value. He needs to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. She did find a man who shared her faith and was genuine in his faith, and she married him. Being genuine and not a poser was very important to her. Sharing the same values and the same passion for Christ was important to her. The woman you encountered could have just been trying to find out if you were sincere in your faith. She probably met many who claimed to be but were not.

[irc333]

I find that I hardly get along , at least dating-wise...or probably even as friends....with Baptists...and even more so ...regionally "Southern" Baptists.

 

I mentioned in the past that I live in a more rural, fish-bowl community where people are rather cliquish and only hire people that they probably grew up with in their community churches.

 

Yeah, better job opportunities around here is pretty much nepotism. lol

 

But anyhow, getting of tangent here....Southern Baptists tend to think their beliefs tend to be superior to others. Sorry to sound like I'm generalizing, but I'm only going off personal experience and experiences from my other family members who aren't Baptists....we're Catholics....and typically they're rivals. LOL

 

My dad never got a long well with his co-workers because was coined "A Yankee" and never really clicked with the "Good ol boy " network.

 

But yeah....there's just something about Southern Baptists and me not getting along too well. They tend to do a lot of backstabbing and such. I'm sure there are Baptist equivalents, but like anything there are good Christians and bad Christians out there.

 

But, just saying...this is from personal experience...and dating wise I don't think I'd ever get along with a Baptist.

 

Now, when I go to the larger cities, Baptists aren't so bad though..they are a bit open minded...but in small town communities, a lot of backstabbers and cliques.

[sillyanswer]

But anyhow, getting of tangent here....Southern Baptists tend to think their beliefs tend to be superior to others.

 

A literal "holier than thou" attitude?

[happydate]

Funny, I know this Christian woman, who has a dating profile up...and is an avid Christian, I know her pretty well, and she does walk the walk...plays the organ, attends services twice a week...children go with her...real nice woman.

 

Anyhow, she said she deliberately left out the fact she was Christian in her bio. (with the exception of the "drop down" where she chose "Christian").

 

Some women put in their profile, "I'm a CHristian woman seeking the same in a man who is also close to the Lord".

 

But she never put any reference to that, and I found that rather unusual.

 

She said she did that deliberately, because ...let's face it...people online...are assumptive and judgemental and assume the worse about any characteristic listed.

 

She said she'd just explain her faith to them in person as opposed to be weeded out as a Bible beater immediately....when she's obviously not.

 

She claims with online dating if you mention anything about Christianity, they figure who ever reads her profile will thinkg, "Oh man, she'll brow beat me to death on our first date and try to convert me....NEXT!"

 

Matthew 7:1-5

 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

 

It's funny when everyone claims to be pure Christians and then go on judging others or filtering others if he or she's faking his Christianity or not and then to engage in Scripture debates thinking that you have the greatest knowledge of the lord. Think deeply that we are ALL servants of the lord and children of the lord. Our master is the final judge, not us. How can you live a joyful life and joyful relationship with the lord if all you do is judge others to be un pure of his or her faith in the lord. That just means, the child still believe he or she has an oppressive relationship with the lord, because he or she believes all his other children is not worth of his love.

[TheFinalWord]

Matthew 7:1-5

 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

 

It's funny when everyone claims to be pure Christians and then go on judging others or filtering others if he or she's faking his Christianity or not and then to engage in Scripture debates thinking that you have the greatest knowledge of the lord. Think deeply that we are ALL servants of the lord and children of the lord. Our master is the final judge, not us. How can you live a joyful life and joyful relationship with the lord if all you do is judge others to be un pure of his or her faith in the lord. That just means, the child still believe he or she has an oppressive relationship with the lord, because he or she believes all his other children is not worth of his love.

 

Good points. It's not a new thing

 

They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

[Robert Z]

but calls himself a Christian because he believes there is a God.

 

So he isn't a Christian because he isn't as good as you think he should be? Interesting. I'm thinking Matthew 7:1-5

[Robert Z]

As a purely sociological observation, it is interesting to note that people who allegedly have seen a UFO or a ghost don't tend to believe other people's ghost or UFO stories either.

[KathyM]

Funny, I know this Christian woman, who has a dating profile up...and is an avid Christian, I know her pretty well, and she does walk the walk...plays the organ, attends services twice a week...children go with her...real nice woman.

 

Anyhow, she said she deliberately left out the fact she was Christian in her bio. (with the exception of the "drop down" where she chose "Christian").

 

Some women put in their profile, "I'm a CHristian woman seeking the same in a man who is also close to the Lord".

 

But she never put any reference to that, and I found that rather unusual.

 

She said she did that deliberately, because ...let's face it...people online...are assumptive and judgemental and assume the worse about any characteristic listed.

 

She said she'd just explain her faith to them in person as opposed to be weeded out as a Bible beater immediately....when she's obviously not.

 

She claims with online dating if you mention anything about Christianity, they figure who ever reads her profile will thinkg, "Oh man, she'll brow beat me to death on our first date and try to convert me....NEXT!"

I'm sorry you felt discriminated against. But like I said, she may have just been trying to gauge your sincerity, because there are a lot of men out there who are pretenders for dating purposes, and their actions don't match up with what they profess to be. I'm sorry to say that the posers have caused some women to be more skeptical, and not take what a man claims about his religion/faith at face value. It is pretty normal for a Christian to ask what church you go to, though. If you are genuine, there will be women who appreciate that and can see that you are genuine. No need to be offended if they ask what church you go to, or want to get your story.

[happydate]

Also I know a guy who has his profile up on a couple of Christian dating sites calling himself a Christian. LOL. He smokes dope, drinks too much, has issues with rage and anger, engages in casual sex, never goes to church, seldom prays but calls himself a Christian because he believes there is a God. He uses Christian dating sites because he figures he'll meet nicer ladies with better morals there than he would on the secular sites. I'm sure he's not the only man doing this. Taking this into consideration I can see why some women might be leery of taking every man at his word.

 

Let me quote a scripture.

 

Chronicles 28:9 ....'And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.'

 

What this means is that:

 

Going to church is not THE definition of worshiping God, it is just a small part of it, because god knows what we feel and think! You can commune with the Lord any time, any place and in any way you want. He's always with us.

 

Secondly,

 

Jacob is a prominent figure in the Old Testament, but he's also liar, a manipulator and a schemer. He struggled with God all his life as we all do. He only matured in his faith in the Lord as some of us do when those who surrender our control to the Lord. Jacob's story teaches us how an imperfect person can be greatly blessed by God--not because of who he or she is, but because of who God is.

 

Alex.. What you are referring to is his faith to the Lord. You are comparing the faith of the Christian lady who is believed to have more faith in the Lord than the guy who seemed to fake it like Jacob did. But is it the job of the Christian lady who walk the walk and talk the talk to reign that final judgement on this person? Or perhaps, she has a log in her eye and seeing the imperfection of the man's faith as being her own imperfection "PROJECTED" on to him like you do to him.

 

I have been saved by a person, who is now Christ conscious and living the way of the Lord. He was being honest too, because in his Bio, he confessed that he was a drug user and sex addict. Yes, he used women for the pleasure of sex and to fill the void in his heart because he felt no one loved him. When our Lord and mother Mary blessed him and gave him unconditional love, he was transformed. I owed to this guy for saving me too and I could relate to him. He had the heart to save me and yet many church goers seemed to distant me cause of my history. Didn't the Lord teach us that we should love all creations? I too have a sexual addiction even to this day. But I'm always working with the Lord and he always love me even if I commit those sins. Jacob gave me that inspiration.

 

Sometimes you will not know what that man is going through. Perhaps he's taking drugs and sleeping around. But this man is lonely and his heart is void of unconditional love. As children of the Lord, the best we can do is teach people like him to be blessed by the Lord and not to employ an elitist attitude that just because you are Christian and that you walk the walk means that you're above the Lord.

 

Blessings..

Edited July 29, 2013 by happydate

[KathyM]

Just because Christians are called to love others doesn't mean that we are called to date them or marry them. In fact, we are called to choose dating partners who we are equally yoked with, and who share our faith. People are under no obligation to date someone who they feel they are not a match with, either spiritually, intellectually, educationally, physically, or based on shared interests or any other criteria that is important to them. Nothing wrong with choosing a partner based on criteria that is important to us. People generally want someone who they feel compatible with on whatever levels that are important to them, including on a spiritual level. As someone else pointed out, people who are very spiritual, whose faith is very important to them, is going to want someone who also has those values. Nothing wrong with that. People are entitled to choose a partner based on if they consider that person a match for whatever criteria that is important to them.

[happydate]

I find that I hardly get along , at least dating-wise...or probably even as friends....with Baptists...and even more so ...regionally "Southern" Baptists.

 

I mentioned in the past that I live in a more rural, fish-bowl community where people are rather cliquish and only hire people that they probably grew up with in their community churches.

 

Yeah, better job opportunities around here is pretty much nepotism. lol

 

But anyhow, getting of tangent here....Southern Baptists tend to think their beliefs tend to be superior to others. Sorry to sound like I'm generalizing, but I'm only going off personal experience and experiences from my other family members who aren't Baptists....we're Catholics....and typically they're rivals. LOL

 

My dad never got a long well with his co-workers because was coined "A Yankee" and never really clicked with the "Good ol boy " network.

 

But yeah....there's just something about Southern Baptists and me not getting along too well. They tend to do a lot of backstabbing and such. I'm sure there are Baptist equivalents, but like anything there are good Christians and bad Christians out there.

 

But, just saying...this is from personal experience...and dating wise I don't think I'd ever get along with a Baptist.

 

Now, when I go to the larger cities, Baptists aren't so bad though..they are a bit open minded...but in small town communities, a lot of backstabbers and cliques.

 

First of all, a Christian is a human being with flaws. The law of the Earth today is fear. Fear makes people judge you and you judge them. We are trained to fear the future and be guilty of the past and be forgetful of what's going on right now.

 

There is a helicopter joke about God with a person drowning in the end. It goes like this guy in a flooded house refused help from 2 boaters and 1 helicopter pilot and told all them, he has complete faith in God. When he actually drowned and gone to heaven, he complained to God why he didn't save him when he had shown full faith to him.

For God replied, "What else do you want me to do when I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter and you refused to get in!"

 

All of us are in the same boat as the drowning man, including men and women of Christian faith dating on online sites like eHarmony.com They had too much faith in God that they didn't realize that God himself sent all the men to the women who are looking and the women the men who are looking and rejecting them because they failed to practice self-discernment.

 

I never had to go on dating sites or look for women. They come to me. They are not exactly what I expected, but I trust God's choice and I trust my own discernment. I don't need to put filters on my women whether they had complete faith in the Lord. For what? God's done the job for me anyhow.

 

For those who don't believe in your own discernment, it is you that had so much blind faith in the Lord, and not the men and women you so criticized. Think deeply about that.

[happydate]

Just because Christians are called to love others doesn't mean that we are called to date them or marry them. In fact, we are called to choose dating partners who we are equally yoked with, and who share our faith. People are under no obligation to date someone who they feel they are not a match with, either spiritually, intellectually, educationally, physically, or based on shared interests or any other criteria that is important to them. Nothing wrong with choosing a partner based on criteria that is important to us. People generally want someone who they feel compatible with on whatever levels that are important to them, including on a spiritual level. As someone else pointed out, people who are very spiritual, whose faith is very important to them, is going to want someone who also has those values. Nothing wrong with that. People are entitled to choose a partner based on if they consider that person a match for whatever criteria that is important to them.

 

People are entitled to practice self-discernment when the Lord sends us the gift. The Lord will send a person (be it a friend, a lover, a teacher) that best meet your current faith and understanding and for you to learn a lesson for further spiritual growth. It is our free will to either accept this gift or not. This gift is to correct certain distortion views of what life is all about at the moment of the individual's spiritual growth. No one is a better judge than the Lord himself. The Lord always provide the lessons to individuals in the belief that you will succeed.

The failure is on the individual-self. The helicopter joke is a good example what so many faithful servants of the Lord failed to realize. All you have to do is accept the lesson from the Lord and go from there and exercise your full discernment. But people FEAR the lesson itself, fear of failure and or fear of being burned, so they exercise self-filtering and judgement without accepting the lesson itself. Then they wonder why God is failing them.

 

I think you misunderstood what I meant by love all creations. Love is not a love of intimacy you think I meant, but I meant a love which transcends intimacy. A love that loves all the flaws of the human being. A love that the holy spirit bestows upon those who surrenders his or her will to the Lord.

Again, it's an experience where the human English language has no words to describe.

 

Last but not least.

 

God will send a man to her only if she is specific. Too many pray "LIP SERVICE" to him with words and the intent not even in sync. You can't blame him sending the wrong guy to the Christian lady if her intent and thoughts are differing. You never do that.

 

Blessings..

Edited July 29, 2013 by happydate

[KathyM]

People are entitled to practice self-discernment when the Lord sends us the gift. The Lord will send a person (be it a friend, a lover, a teacher) that best meet your current faith and understanding and for you to learn a lesson for further spiritual growth. It is our free will to either accept this gift or not.

There will be plenty of people that come into our lives or whom we have contact with that are not who God intends for us to be dating. God has made it very clear in His word, that we are not to be dating people who do not share our faith. We are not to be unequally yoked.

This gift is to correct certain distortion views of what life is all about at the moment of the individual's spiritual growth. No one is a better judge than the Lord himself. The Lord always provide the lessons to individuals in the belief that you will succeed.

God expects you to make wise choices, not to put your foot in the fire thinking that it will be a learning experience. God has set out in detail what His plan is that will lead to happiness, fulfillment, and truth. He has also given us the discernment to figure out what is and is not a part of God's plan, based on His teachings. We don't need to set foot in the fire in order to know that we will get burned.

The failure is on the individual-self. The helicopter joke is a good example what so many faithful servants of the Lord failed to realize. All you have to do is accept the lesson from the Lord and go from there and exercise your full discernment. But people FEAR the lesson itself, fear of failure and or fear of being burned, so they exercise self-filtering and judgement without accepting the lesson itself. Then they wonder why God is failing them.

As I said, God has already set forth the lessons and the teaching, in His word. He does not want us to put our foot in the fire, so to speak, in order to figure out that we will get burned. He has already told us, through His word, what to avoid in order to not get burned.

I think you misunderstood what I meant by love all creations. Love is not a love of intimacy you think I meant, but I meant a love which transcends intimacy. A love that loves all the flaws of the human being. A love that the holy spirit bestows upon those who surrenders his or her will to the Lord.

Again, it's an experience where the human English language has no words to describe.

I totally agree that we are to love and have compassion for others, regardless of their flaws or their failures. But that doesn't mean that we are to date or marry those who do not share our faith.

 

Last but not least.

 

God will send a man to her only if she is specific. Too many pray "LIP SERVICE" to him with words and the intent not even in sync. You can't blame him sending the wrong guy to the Christian lady if her intent and thoughts are differing. You never do that.

 

Blessings..

I'm not blaming God for anything. I don't know where you came up with this. Not everyone who comes into our lives is God's intention to have a relationship with. He expects us to be discerning and careful about who we have a relationship with, and has instructed His followers not to be unequally yoked. He makes that very clear. For you to imply that we are to date everyone, regardless of their past, their current state of mind, and regardless of the kind of person they are, because they made contact with us, and because they made contact, they are sent from God, is just fallacy. Many people come into our lives. That doesn't mean we are supposed to date them. lol.

[happydate]

There will be plenty of people that come into our lives or whom we have contact with that are not who God intends for us to be dating. God has made it very clear in His word, that we are not to be dating people who do not share our faith. We are not to be unequally yoked.

 

Which is why we exercise full discernment and free will. People who come into our lives are not by coincidence nor accident. I did not say you have to date everyone. I only said the people who come into our lives are meant to either be our friend, our lover or our teacher. You are very good at putting words into my mouth Kathy.

 

Also, my uncle who was not a Christian married a Christian ONLY to be converted into Christianity by his choice later on not because to follow his wife's path, but because on a trip to Asia he got sick. On both to and return trips, he sat beside a priest and what are the odds on that?!? And somehow his headache got better when the priest spoke. His experience, was grace came to him. The priest never identify himself to be Christian. It's only when my uncle asked what he did that he revealed himself. My mother is Catholic and my dad is Buddhist. Married happily for close to 50 years and respected each other's religion.

 

God expects you to make wise choices, not to put your foot in the fire thinking that it will be a learning experience. God has set out in detail what His plan is that will lead to happiness, fulfillment, and truth. He has also given us the discernment to figure out what is and is not a part of God's plan, based on His teachings. We don't need to set foot in the fire in order to know that we will get burned.

 

God expects us to listen to him and then make wise choices. But God does not expect us to become faithful automatons either! God wants us to be on this earth to spread his gospel and experience life to its fullest. He wants us to bring back to his kingdom the infinite choices we made whether they are good or bad that result in infinite good and bad experiences!

I'm not sure why you always kept saying that God does not want us to set our foot on fire. There are wars being fought, while collar crimes that gone unpunished and some of them committed by Christians that go to Church. How can God let this happen?

 

I'm not blaming God for anything. I don't know where you came up with this. Not everyone who comes into our lives is God's intention to have a relationship with. He expects us to be discerning and careful about who we have a relationship with, and has instructed His followers not to be unequally yoked. He makes that very clear. For you to imply that we are to date everyone, regardless of their past, their current state of mind, and regardless of the kind of person they are, because they made contact with us, and because they made contact, they are sent from God, is just fallacy. Many people come into our lives. That doesn't mean we are supposed to date them. lol.

 

God sends us people addressed by our prayers. He does not send random people to us. He send us people who are specifically important in shaping our lives and our spiritual growth through living experiences. Our experiences shape who we are.

 

I think your concern is valid that we should not date anyone and you have that free will. All I said was that, there is a reason for that person to appear in your life and if you continue to write him off because of his past, current state of mind etc.. Why do you think another person that befit the same profile won't appear? What if many of these men appear in the woman's life and she's frustrated she is not meeting the man of her dreams? What is the pertinent message in that? You won't be able to find out if you don't date.

 

Just the same with the helicopter joke. The reason the man drowned and not take the boats or helicopter to safety is because, he knew the boaters and the pilot all had a criminal past and feared if he got into the boat, he might get ripped off and be killed. But then, God said, I sent 2 boats and a helicopter to rescue you! You see here is a chicken and egg scenario.

 

Btw, my life was changed from a man who used women for sex to respecting women and embracing Christianity. I thought you should know that the woman I slept with gave me the most valuable lessons in life and Christ I never got from others. I had since made apologies and asked mercy and forgiveness and she was instrumental in my awakening.

 

If this woman would have listened to you, I will still treat women like trash and unreformed!

 

God bless!

Edited July 30, 2013 by happydate

[KathyM]

Btw, my life was changed from a man who used women for sex to respecting women and embracing Christianity. I thought you should know that the woman I slept with gave me the most valuable lessons in life and Christ I never got from others. I had since made apologies and asked mercy and forgiveness and she was instrumental in my awakening.

 

If this woman would have listened to you, I will still treat women like trash and unreformed!

 

God bless!

Don't you have something better to do than troll? I guess not . . .