Author Layzie1207 Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 another weird thing about this whole situation is that the last time we had a big argument and emotional fight, we asked our friends to help us. they came down and the conversation basically consisted of them feeding me exactly what i didnt want to hear for 3 hours while i just bawled and my ex sat on the bed watching me. our friends said to me "she doesnt want anyone else!", "she doesnt want jon! (her best friend who professed his love for her and she thought she might have feelings for)" "she promised you that you would be her first! what are you worried about!" "shes doing this for herself!". my ex was sitting there while they told me all these things and i was breaking down and she was just watching me. i finally heard enough that everything would be ok that i got better for the weekend. now im hearing from the same people when i ask them about the sex thing and they say "she can do what she wants", "move on" "let go" "its over forever" and from my exs mouth "how can i ever feel that way for him again, i mean honestly, im terrified of him". sometimes im not sure what to think about all these statements. i just know that in the future if she was to break any of those things that were told to me when i was there i would be quite angry. because my ex was sitting there watching them tell me all this stuff and didnt refute any of it and just watched me basically break down. i guess if she was to do any of those things i think i might felt like i was lied to but now all these things said now seem so contradictory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layzie1207 Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 just to put a little background on the whole best friend thing and not to take away from my last post but this is what happened. 2 days after my ex called and said she wanted a break (we were still together she just wanted a break) her best friend drove down to her college and professed his love to her. she called me crying and said that he had done that and i flipped out. i called him and he said he didnt know we had just gone on a break but he wanted to tell her so that she could make a choice between us two. they were very very close and she had always loved him in that best friend sort of way. slowly i think she started to doubt her feelings for me and questioned exactly what she felt for the other guy. the weird thing is, is that he is supposed to go to california in january but nobody knows for sure. he was basically doing the loving her back technique where hed just create good moments with her and then leave. all this uncertainty is very tough. the next time i contact her she may or may not be going out with him, let alone he may have moved to california. its very very hard to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layzie1207 Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 also when i emailed my ex i said i was going to "move on". i dont want her to think that im going to stop loving her, because right now she assumes that the next time im going to talk to her is when i dont love her anymore. im very tempted to apologize for the way i acted for those 2 months and tell her that moving on doesnt mean not loving her, it means growing within myself to the point where i can be happy as a person, but being ok with not being with you. it doesnt mean stop loving you or loving you any else. do you think thats a good idea??? im just afraid that if she thinks im going to stop loving her then shes free to do whatever with whomever and in the long run it shouldnt affect me. Link to post Share on other sites
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