sadwithouthim Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 4 1/2 years down the drain. I have a hard time with NC....for forever. We said goodbye a number of times before. None had lasted this long (almost 20 days now ), I think this is the final goodbye. Yet, I still stay logged into email (invisibly), just hoping he'll change his mind. I'm just going to put my feelings here, and maybe some of you can share your stories or feelings also. Although it was a long distance emotional affair (I'm the married one), we shared so much together. I miss sharing with him, and I just want to know how he's doing. I'm glad we ended amicably, but I wonder if it would be easier if I hated him. We got along so beautifully all those years. He was my best friend. I worry about him, since I can't talk to him anymore. I care so deeply about him. I can't imagine not EVER talking to him again. I guess if it's meant to be, we'll be together again someday. I'm glad to have this site to turn to. I wonder what is helping him to cope. I feel jealous thinking it could be that he's talking to someone else. Then, I feel bad for feeling that way. I don't want him to have a hard time with goodbye, he isn't the married one. I know he loves me, so I wonder how he's holding up. J -I miss you... Link to post Share on other sites
Tenbob Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Was this an affair ? Or just a friendship ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadwithouthim Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 Yes, emotional affair. He's single, I'm married. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I know I'm a total stranger, but hang in there, you're doing great. Have you thought about doing the extreme and changing your email? I had to change everything years ago after a break up. I just couldn't stand to stare at the phone or constantly check email with no results. The only way I could protect myself was to know he COULDNT contact me. So sorry for your sadness. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenbob Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Do you love your husband ?? Perhaps this is the time to think about your life , you could stay with your husband and try and get back some sparkle - or leave , spend a little time on your own then pursue your other man . You only live once Link to post Share on other sites
affairaddict Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I understand you miss him I really do,. 4 years is AGES and I dread to think how I would have ended it at that point. Do not make contact with him anymore. If you care about him, you wont hurt him. my ex MM respected my wishes for 2 whole months, then broke NC, and we were straight back where we started in fact WORSE. feelings had grown, let me tell you that I was only back in this affair a week until I realised nothing had changed with his situation, and I dumped him AGAIN. it hurt more than before, and theres me crying, sobbing again- I've got used to him again, got used to the high and the "love" and Ive had to tell him NEVER ever to talk to me again I will ignore him. He didn't reply, and I felt the sadness and the pain from him right there, like a lost puppy. Now I do NC again. 4 days in. I have blocked him from my twitter so he cannot check up on me every day to keep the connection alive, because that's what we were doing the last 2 months NC, trying to stay close in any way. It's almost cruel really, but it's for his and my own good. He is getting married. I urge you to think of his pain, and that breaking NC is more agony in the end and sets you back a long way. If you do not want to be with him, please spare his heart, You cannot have both men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadwithouthim Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 We have a troubled marriage, but we have children, so I try to make the best of it. My husband's very self-centered, and controlling with money. There were always sexual problems too. Sex has dwindled to zero now. It's been over 2 years since any sex. I'm high drive, and he's extremely low (or no) drive. I know I couldn't keep J on the hook any longer. I will have to take charge and figure out stay or divorce and be solid in a decision for once. I've already wasted 18 years in a miserable marriage, almost half my life. Link to post Share on other sites
affairaddict Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 DO NOT CONTACT HIM WHILE YOU ARE CONFUSED! I don't think you want this marriage anymore but you are scared to leave everything you know. You have one life, I left my marriage. I didn't even look back. I woke up and decided I had had enough. It was coming for a while, but I did not dither. It was the best thing I could do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 We have a troubled marriage, but we have children, so I try to make the best of it. My husband's very self-centered, and controlling with money. There were always sexual problems too. Sex has dwindled to zero now. It's been over 2 years since any sex. I'm high drive, and he's extremely low (or no) drive. I know I couldn't keep J on the hook any longer. I will have to take charge and figure out stay or divorce and be solid in a decision for once. I've already wasted 18 years in a miserable marriage, almost half my life. And you think that "wasting your life" in a "miserable" marriage is good for your children? I don't get it. Pull yourself together and leave if it is that bad. Your kids will be better for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts