happyhornyhappy Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 When I was 19 I was stupidly desperate to lose my virginity. Long story short I got drunk at at a friend house party and boinked a very charming friend of the hers on her basement couch:o. The plan was to have sex once, just to say I'd done it, but after the fact, this charming young dude, friended me on facebook and then refused to leave me alone. We ended up fighting and eff-ing barbarically, for six months:bunny:. We never properly defined the relationship, but he didn't us going anywhere and I was crazy in love with him:sick:. When it ended it ended badly, but I knew the whole this undefined mess would respawn. I was heart broken, enough to barely venture out sexually after that experience SO HERE IS THE PROBLEM-- Fast forward 2 years to spring 2013: I'm older and wiser:rolleyes: and no longer in love with him. However, when he texted me after all this time, I couldn't help but respond all excitedly! And NOW I can't stop having sex with him. The sex isn't nearly as good as it was when I was angry and enamored with him, I can recognize that we're not right for each other, and that he doesn't take me seriously. It's not nearly as intense or fun or scary as before, but I don't want to let him go, and I don't know why! I just can't... Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 , I can recognize that we're not right for each other, and that he doesn't take me seriously. It's not nearly as intense or fun or scary as before, but I don't want to let him go, and I don't know why! I just can't... Look under the bed, look in the closet, hell search the basement. Your self-respect is bound to be around there somewhere. You're having sex with someone who just uses you and thinks you're a joke. If you are looking for a reason to give you trust and intimacy issues then willingly doing that ought to do it. Pretty soon it won't matter that you can't let him go because just as before he'll find a new piece of tail and be rid of you just as quickly as you came just as he did before. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author happyhornyhappy Posted July 27, 2013 Author Share Posted July 27, 2013 I like him soooo much! I keep telling myself I don't, but facts are facts... I like him. He's the only guy I've ever slept with and the only guy I want to sleep with. And it feels so wrong. When he's good to me I'm happy, and when he doesn't text or call, I freak out. I'm embarrassed. I've never felt this way before I met him. I'm an independent modern young lady, and I don't understand how I become this mess with no self respect, when it comes to him. I know how to say no, I know when to say no but for some reason I can't stop liking him, talking to him, or having sex with him. I think I'd miss him cooking me breakfast. I'd miss walking around the park with him. I'd miss falling asleep with our bodies all mashed together... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 I could answer that bluntly, but I'd get an infraction. I think you need therapy. That would cover it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LisaLee Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Well for starters you sound helluva immature, but I am sure there may be other issues. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Well for starters you sound helluva immature, but I am sure there may be other issues. Any daddy issues? Sounds like you're really insecure and dependent on others for your own happiness Link to post Share on other sites
Author happyhornyhappy Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 Yeah, I'll admit I'm pretty immature for my age though I'm a lot better than before. And I do have major daddy-issues definitely. I don't really depend on others for my happiness. Generally I'm a pretty happy person, but I feel like this guy triggers something in me:eek:. I'm not myself when I'm around him, in a really unhealthy way. I want his approval and I normally couldn't give two shizzes what anyone thinks of me. I like him a lot, but it doesn't feel right. Instead of giving me butterflies, he just makes me feel kinda sick to my stomach . Please don't insult me for being honest about my problem TaraMaiden. I really appreciate everyone's input, but I'd also like if you could keep it constructive . The thing Hoping2Heal said really hit home. I wanted to say thanks but I don't know how to PM on here... PS: OH Also, I'm proud of myself. I told him I'm done, and I actually haven't answered any of his calls or texts for the past few days! A small step in the right direction! No? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Not responding to phone calls after you say it's over would normally be a step in the right direction, but it sounds like you're just playing his game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author happyhornyhappy Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 Not responding to phone calls after you say it's over would normally be a step in the right direction, but it sounds like you're just playing his game. I'm curious, why do you say that? There's not much I can do besides cut off contact, right? Is there something I'm missing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author happyhornyhappy Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 Look under the bed, look in the closet, hell search the basement. Your self-respect is bound to be around there somewhere. You're having sex with someone who just uses you and thinks you're a joke. If you are looking for a reason to give you trust and intimacy issues then willingly doing that ought to do it. Pretty soon it won't matter that you can't let him go because just as before he'll find a new piece of tail and be rid of you just as quickly as you came just as he did before. I'm not sure if this is relevant, but I actually stopped talking to him because I felt like I wasn't ready to be in a sexual relationship. He said we could just be friends but I didn't see that as a possibility. He didn't dump me for a new piece of tail. Link to post Share on other sites
Lei Ping Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I like him soooo much! I keep telling myself I don't, but facts are facts... I like him. He's the only guy I've ever slept with and the only guy I want to sleep with. And it feels so wrong. When he's good to me I'm happy, and when he doesn't text or call, I freak out. I'm embarrassed. I've never felt this way before I met him. I'm an independent modern young lady, and I don't understand how I become this mess with no self respect, when it comes to him. I know how to say no, I know when to say no but for some reason I can't stop liking him, talking to him, or having sex with him. I think I'd miss him cooking me breakfast. I'd miss walking around the park with him. I'd miss falling asleep with our bodies all mashed together... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I don't detect any "lack of self respect" here. You gave him sexual satisfaction and he gave it back to you in return. What's the problem here? I consider your approach to sex a lot more mature than most of the responses to it. Life is short. Enjoy yourself but be responsible with it. Cover up that thing every time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author happyhornyhappy Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 Thanks Lei Ping. I really truly appreciate getting some support. I did enjoy sleeping with him. He always fed me when I came over, and the sex was never less than decent:love: I had a lot of fun, but in the end, I decided I didn't feel good or healthy anymore. I just want something different now. BUT You, my friend, have restored my faith in the internet As for everyone else. There's no way you can tell if I need therapy, if I'm immature, whether or not I'm moving in the right direction by not talking or talking to him, or if I'm dependent on others for my happiness, based on what I wrote about this one interaction in my life. And what if all those things were true? How would pointing them out in the way you did help me? Plus, I may have made him sound worse than he is. He once ran three miles in the rain when I randomly got lost and scared in his neighborhood. We didn't even have any plans that day! He introduced me to his friends. He bought me liquor for my friends once and he always brought me a brownie or something on days I was coming over. We went shopping together and he let me pick out his clothes. Me and him had loads of fun and even though our relationship took a wrong turn, some of it was good Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts