The less they care = more popular?

[MrTurk]

I dont know about the rest of you, but I seem to have a gift/curse with being able to read people very quickly, and very accurately in person. I'm able to see their mannerisms, their personality traits, sincerity whether its faked or real...stuff like that. In other words...I'm usually able to read them for who they really are....not for who they want everyone to think they are.

 

I've noticed that the more popular people that I've known throughout my life....tend to be more about themselves. They are not good listeners, but better at talking/bragging about themselves. They tend to exaggerate their stories a lot. The more they retell a story, the more BS they add to it, as a way to entertain the crowd listening. They also tend to tease others, and make fun of people, even if its not in a mean way, but they still use it as a way to get laughs for themselves.

 

So why do people in general like people like that?? Why are those the popular people, that have lots of friends?? Am I the oddball that sees right through them, and no one else does? Or do the others feel compelled to be part of the "popular circle"....instead of being an outsider?

Edited July 26, 2013 by MrTurk

[carhill]

So why do people in general like people like that?? Why are those the popular people, that have lots of friends??

 

If I had to answer with one word, it would be 'charisma'.

 

Also, there are different kinds of popularity and different crowds which focus it on particular individuals. What you described is one particular dynamic of one particular type of popularity and popular individual. There is a gamut of both.

 

My advice? Big world, lots of people. Align yourself with those who are popular in a style you respect and admire if popularity has traction in your life. Good luck.

[Leegh]

I don't know, but I see what you mean, as I know of a very arrogant woman who is rude and unpleasant, and she has a great guy who is crazy about her. I really don't see what he sees in her, as often she is in a bad mood also. To answer your question, hopefully people will see that these types of people are not so great after all, and in time, will not want to have anything to do with them.

[Pompeii]

A lot of popular people are good fakers and pretend to care about people and be deep thinkers but in actuality that is simply not the case.

[ThaWholigan]

Generally, I find that it's not as extreme as a lack of care as much as an ease with which they deal with social situations. This can manifest in more hardened types as lack of care. It's too easy however to paint the "popular" in such a light if one only observes one particular dynamic. Exposing yourself to each part of the spectrum should shed light on the fact that this dynamic isn't always the most prevalent.

[tbf]

Who's less energy draining, someone who entertains you, making you laugh thus producing those feel-good hormones or someone who you have to drag every word out of, where conversation dull thuds every time?

[MrTurk]

Who's less energy draining, someone who entertains you, making you laugh thus producing those feel-good hormones or someone who you have to drag every word out of, where conversation dull thuds every time?

 

If you had a valid point, you wouldnt have to use such a wide spectrum of offsetting examples to make it sound good.

[El Brujo]

A lot of popular people are good fakers and pretend to care about people and be deep thinkers but in actuality that is simply not the case.

 

Definitely wise words that those folks who treat body language as gospel would do well to heed.

[tbf]

If you had a valid point, you wouldnt have to use such a wide spectrum of offsetting examples to make it sound good.

Refute the premise. Otherwise your response is fallacious in nature, whether premised on an informal or formal fallacy.

 

Myself, I will openly state that my preference leans towards articulate, entertaining individuals who also have a good sense of humour since they're fun and interesting. Their popularity or social standing is meaningless to me.