OLD: She won't give me my phone # until we meet first?

[irc333]

Okay, I had a woman agree to meet up with me for a date from POF....even talked specifics of the venue, then I asked for her phone number, because it's obvious I would need it.

 

She said she doesn't like to give out her phone # until we MEET in person first...just something. She said she knew of someone that bought a disposable phone FOR this website, but she had not.

 

Tell me, is she being a little TOO cautious? I typically have a policy of talking to someone on the phone FIRST before meeting them.

 

But, I can also see issue with ability of setting up the date, as well, without talking, esp. if she can't find the place right off the bat....I wouldn't be able to even TEXT her, "OKay, I'm here in front of the yellow fire hydrant.

 

So I don't know what her deal is, I figured someone would be reasonable enough , if they would like to SET UP a date, to at least get their phone # to establish contact at LEAST upon arrival?

[Balzac]

Communication is easy enough w her blocking her # to calls on your phone. She

doesn't sound too bright. Calls are easy if you are divulging your number.

 

Why the drama?

[carhill]

Here's how I'd handle it.... I'd make the date for a joint I eat at anyway, give her my phone number and request she contact me if anything came up. If she flaked, no harm, since I enjoy the folks at the place I eat at and don't mind eating alone. If a woman is cautious or doesn't trust me, that's on her. Me, I'm going for some chili verde and a margarita. Her loss if her caution and lack of trust get the better of her. Good luck.

[irc333]

Here's how I'd handle it.... I'd make the date for a joint I eat at anyway, give her my phone number and request she contact me if anything came up. If she flaked, no harm, since I enjoy the folks at the place I eat at and don't mind eating alone. If a woman is cautious or doesn't trust me, that's on her. Me, I'm going for some chili verde and a margarita. Her loss if her caution and lack of trust get the better of her. Good luck.

 

That's what I did, gave her my # in case something came up...chances are I will be turning around and going straight home though, not order anything and go straight home.

 

Saving my money. lol. Plus I don't have any real interest in the people at these local places anyhow. People stay to themselves in this fishbowl community.

 

The only reason I AM agreeing to this is

 

1. She lives close

2. I did it with another woman, and she did not flake on me.

 

Usually it's a sign they might bail at the last moment when they do this, but previous experience dictates that I'll attempt fate again and plus it'll be a short ride there and back.

[carhill]

The last woman I dated back in 2010 had a strange phone where it seemed like the call was going through a repeater and the number never showed up on my cell phone. She did show up to the dates relatively on-time though, with the first one being the most punctual.

 

I understand the fishbowl issue and some of your trepidation. When I go on 'dates', it's a solid 20 miles to the closest civilization so, if a lady flakes, I eat alone and am out ten bucks in fuel too. I'm not doing an hour drive and ending up back home and hungry to boot!

 

Good luck on your date.

[LittleTiger]

She's not being too cautious, she's being sensible. You are a complete stranger that she has only communicated with via the internet - you could be absolutely anybody!

 

I learned the hard way not to give out my 'real' phone number when I was online. One guy found out far too much information just from the number - including where I lived and worked! Another one told me about a previous date he'd had when he'd considered throwing his date off a cliff because she was annoying him so much! He was very aggressive on the phone too! Needless to say, I decided not to meet him and I regretted giving him my number.

 

After that, I bought myself a cheap phone with an 'untraceable' number that I could give to complete strangers.

 

I don't think she's going to fake, I think she's just using common sense. Of course, if you think she's being OTT about it then you may not be a good match.

[grkBoy]

Tell me, is she being a little TOO cautious?

 

No. The world is a dangerous place for a woman.

[supaflyz]

This is weird. How the heck you suppose to find her at the place then? I mean you might have seen pictures of her online, but some people don't look like the pictures in person lol.

[Star Gazer]

I don't think it's weird or all that uncommon.

 

Lots of dating sites have a secure all function, enabling you to call the person without knowing their number or giving yours away.

 

I have lots of little rules for OLD that I often let go by the wayside when I'm interested enough.

 

You don't NEED her number.

[Star Gazer]

That's what I did, gave her my # in case something came up...chances are I will be turning around and going straight home though, not order anything and go straight home.

 

Saving my money. lol. Plus I don't have any real interest in the people at these local places anyhow. People stay to themselves in this fishbowl community.

 

The only reason I AM agreeing to this is

 

1. She lives close

2. I did it with another woman, and she did not flake on me.

 

Usually it's a sign they might bail at the last moment when they do this, but previous experience dictates that I'll attempt fate again and plus it'll be a short ride there and back.

 

If your phone is a smart phone (which I'm assuming it is), she can also contact you through whatever site you used.

[irc333]

If your phone is a smart phone (which I'm assuming it is), she can also contact you through whatever site you used.

 

It is not. No NEED for a Smart Phone..just a standard cell phone with texting ability.

[irc333]

You must've gave out your land line....land lines are indeed traceable...but you can't find out about anyone's location with their cell phone #...the city..yes...but address...no.

 

 

She's not being too cautious, she's being sensible. You are a complete stranger that she has only communicated with via the internet - you could be absolutely anybody!

 

I learned the hard way not to give out my 'real' phone number when I was online. One guy found out far too much information just from the number - including where I lived and worked! Another one told me about a previous date he'd had when he'd considered throwing his date off a cliff because she was annoying him so much! He was very aggressive on the phone too! Needless to say, I decided not to meet him and I regretted giving him my number.

 

After that, I bought myself a cheap phone with an 'untraceable' number that I could give to complete strangers.

 

I don't think she's going to fake, I think she's just using common sense. Of course, if you think she's being OTT about it then you may not be a good match.

[mtber75]

Okay, I had a woman agree to meet up with me for a date from POF....even talked specifics of the venue, then I asked for her phone number, because it's obvious I would need it.

 

She said she doesn't like to give out her phone # until we MEET in person first...just something. She said she knew of someone that bought a disposable phone FOR this website, but she had not.

 

Tell me, is she being a little TOO cautious? I typically have a policy of talking to someone on the phone FIRST before meeting them.

 

But, I can also see issue with ability of setting up the date, as well, without talking, esp. if she can't find the place right off the bat....I wouldn't be able to even TEXT her, "OKay, I'm here in front of the yellow fire hydrant.

 

So I don't know what her deal is, I figured someone would be reasonable enough , if they would like to SET UP a date, to at least get their phone # to establish contact at LEAST upon arrival?

 

Yes it seems pretty paranoid on her part! She should of responded in kind when you gave out your number. That's why I don't do OLD, there are all these overly secret people... Maybe she is a dude LOL

[Miss_raptor]

That's a little weird, and can make meeting especially difficult if you're meeting up somewhere. Accidents and life happen, sending a quick text or call if one does could prevent miscommunication.

 

I could see using a google number or something until she got to know you better if she was that worried.

[sillyanswer]

I've had someone do this before. I can't remember who, but I think I did go on a date with her. The logistics of the date reminded me of a time before mobile phones when people managed to meet without last-minute texts or calls... it just needed a detailed plan of where and when to meet.

[Star Gazer]

You must've gave out your land line....land lines are indeed traceable...but you can't find out about anyone's location with their cell phone #...the city..yes...but address...no.

 

Not true. You can easily find their billing address, which is usually the same as their residence. EASILY.

[Star Gazer]

It is not. No NEED for a Smart Phone..just a standard cell phone with texting ability.

 

No NEED for you to have her number then, either.

[RedRobin]

My cell is also my biz phone. So no. Not giving my real number to anyone for awhile.

[xxoo]

Back before cell phones, we managed to arrange meetings successfully. We would pick a spot and tell what we'd be wearing.

[MrTurk]

I've gave women the option when we are in the email phase. I tell them if they want to meet without giving out their number its fine by me. But they have always wanted to talk before meeting.

[MrTurk]

Back before cell phones, we managed to arrange meetings successfully. We would pick a spot and tell what we'd be wearing.

 

 

Ahh, those were the days

 

All in the Family TV Intro (70's) - YouTube

 

"Boy the way Glen Miller played, songs that made the hit parade, guys like us we had it made, those were the days, and you know where you were then, girls were girls and men were men, mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again, didn't need no welfare states everybody pulled his weight, gee our old Lasalle ran great, those were the days!"

[sdraw108]

You must've gave out your land line....land lines are indeed traceable...but you can't find out about anyone's location with their cell phone #...the city..yes...but address...no.

 

WRONG!

 

1. A lot of people use their phone for work, in which case a quick google search can potentially tell you plenty. I've always kept my work and private phones separate, but if you googled my work number you would straight away find out where I work.

 

2. It is fairly trivial (to those who know how) to "spoof" someone's cellphone number (i.e. to send texts and make calls so that your caller ID shows as their number). It would take me under 30 seconds to do this, if I were that way inclined. You don't have to stretch the imagination too much to see the damage which can be done from this.

 

3. It is equally trivial to access someone's voicemail if you have their cellphone number and they don't have a PIN (which people rarely do). Google "phone hacking scandal" if you've never heard of this and don't believe that it has had far-reaching consequences!

[soccerrprp]

Never experienced such a thing from OLD. In fact, speaking to the date before meeting is a must for me, so getting their number happens before the date.

 

But, I do understand the caution.

[RovingReporter]

It's not wierd.

 

Do you really need her number to meet up for coffee?

[ChessPieceFace]

This is weird. How the heck you suppose to find her at the place then?

 

...

 

The world existed before cell phones.