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How not to freak out a shy guy?


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Hey all,

 

So, new to the forums here. About a month ago, I finally worked up the courage to tell a guy friend of mine that I had feelings for him. We're both mid-twenties, by the way. I was pretty sure he felt the same way, and sure enough, he did! However, there were a few reasons he was a little hesitant to start any sort of "relationship." One, he was concerned because a few months earlier, I had gone through a pretty painful breakup after a fairly long-term relationship. Two, right now, we'd have to be long distance soon--where he goes to school (heads back mid-August), and where I'm moving for a job I'm starting soon--are fairly far away. He told me that he'd just sort of like to see where things went from there, but that he was interested. A few other things: He's definitely more on the "shy and reserved" side of things, and he's less experienced than I am as far as relationships go.

 

So fast forward a month later: We're hanging out all the time, talking late into the night after work for us, and I feel like we're "in a relationship." I'd like to ask him to make things more...official, if that makes sense. However, just knowing him the way I do, I'm afraid to ask because I love what we have going right now and don't want to try to move too quickly and have him push away because of it. Really, we've been acting like boyfriend and girlfriend already, so I don't even know if this is really a big deal or not, but I feel like it could be.

 

Any advice?

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Salvatore85

As a shy guy myself you're most likely going to have to make the first move all the time. I'm sure that's frustrating because females are not used to that but when dealing with an shy individual that's just the case. Good luck and I hope it all works out for the two of you...

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Salvatore85

I doubt it. He's waiting for you to make a move because he's probably convinced himself that you wouldn't go for it if he tried...that's what shy guys do.

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