Futures & Options

[newerr]

Hello! I'm new to this forum but it seems to be a good place to ask for advice on a situation I'm in.

 

I recently got out of a two year relationship that had been stale for a while. I was getting itchy feet; he was gearing up for marriage. It started with me saying I wasn't ready, being only 21, and eventually I realized that I wasn't with the person I want to spend my life with. We were more like friends than lovers, so...we split.

 

I've worked at a restaurant since the end of last year. My problems with my ex-boyfriend had already begun before the new job, and only worsened as I became more and more involved in my work, because honestly, working full time at a restaurant, it becomes your life. This was only one of many reasons my ex and I broke it off, but it was an important one.

 

In May, we got an influx of new employees coming home on college break. One of the guys they hired to work in the kitchen and do deliveries when they came up, we'll call him "jack," would chat with me about mutual interests and work gossip a lot. Jack is a bit younger than me, and will be going back to school next month (only in the next state). I do find him attractive, but at first our conversations were very "bro-ish", and I was still wrapped up in relationship woes. On top of that, he has a girlfriend back at school, but she is studying abroad this year and he has told her he doesn't want to stay together during that time. He has told me that he is not that into her, and why. We talked about my relationship with my ex as well, and Jack has been a great support with that.

 

One night while we were talking, my boss(!) came up and told us to stop flirting. I hadn't really noticed but the glance we exchanged revealed that we definitely had been, and were liking it. After that, the flirting happened even more, and we started hanging out all the time. In the past two weeks, we've hung out nearly every night- I know, scary. And the worst part is the sexual tension. The hungry looks, the attempts to touch as innocently- or not- as possible, always gravitating to each other at work.

 

I could go on but I'll cut to the chase. My relationship is now officially over. He said that he's breaking it off with his girlfriend, although we have not confessed any feelings for each other and there is no expectation of being together. We have not hooked up, and I don't plan to while hes in the relationship still, or even anytime after while hes getting over it. Is he telling me hes going to break up with her because he wants to be with me? or put the idea out there at least? If he does, how soon would he expect anything to happen? My brother thinks that if I want to have a chance at a more intimate relationship with this guy anytime in the future, I need to tell him before he goes back to school. I don't know how I feel about that, but I don't want Jack to lose interest.

 

I think what I would like is to take things slow. I really like this guy, potentially seriously, and I haven't connected with anyone ever the way we have. I don't want to flush it down the toilet by moving too fast and coming on too strong. I also am pretty sexually frustrated and that sucks too. But the fact I haven't already made a desperate fool of myself is quite rare for me, and I think its because I like this guy enough to restrain myself- sounds a bit counter-intuitive, but I really think I want to wait because I actually like him!

 

He's talking about, "when I come home on break, we'll do ___," and, "next summer we have to ___." Does that mean he likes me enough/ is thinking about a "future" for our friendship enough that I can play it safe and move slow? Or should I take a risk and confess that I like him before he goes back to school in case he moves on during that time? So many options and possible outcomes...

 

N.B. We're hanging out tonight and I'm kind of going nuts with anticipation.