Newly separated married couple still living together, How does this work?

[DanielleR]

My husband and I were together for two years but I decided to separate 10days ago, I initiated the break after several arguments regarding his jealousy and lack of trust in me, He has made it clear to me that he doesn't want the separation. My Husband is a cop that works long hours and he gets easily paranoid when he thinks a guy is flirting with me or mistakes me for flirting with someone and I just had enough of it. I decided to stay living in our house, Which was his before we met, Although I still love him I definitely think we need a break from each other Intimately, Our relationship was very volatile. For the last 2 nights when I got home from work, I came home to a house full of his friends, drinking, take out food & a messy home, He knows that drives me crazy and agreed when we got married not to do it so i know he's doing it to get a reaction out of me & Im trying hard to not give in, But I was so pissed off that he kept staring at me with a stupid smirk on his face, I wanted to scream at him.

 

Instead I went upstairs changed and got ready to go out with the girls, when I came down he looked at me & asked where was I going, I told him since he was having a boys night, Im having girls night, He pulled me aside asking was i going on a date and who was i going with etc, When he told me he loved me, I just smiled at him and walked out the door, He slammed the door behind me, When I was out he was constantly on my mind and I felt horrible and wanted to make things ok with us and clear the tension.When I got home he was already in bed & when I woke up he was gone to work. When its just the two of us alone he keeps doing little things that he knows annoy me then laughs when I get angry with him, Yesterday he did that and then started to kiss me, When I begged him to take this seriously he just said that everything will be fine with us again & that he still loves me. Deep down I don't want this break up but I know we need this if only for a break but he keeps making it so hard for me when he keeps coming up behind me and holding me trying to get us to have sex etc which im finding hard to ignore. Any advice?

[Lauriebell82]

If you are seperating, then you need to live seperately. If you need a break from each other then you arent going to get it living in the same house.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

My husband and I were together for two years but I decided to separate 10days ago, I initiated the break after several arguments regarding his jealousy and lack of trust in me, He has made it clear to me that he doesn't want the separation. My Husband is a cop that works long hours and he gets easily paranoid when he thinks a guy is flirting with me or mistakes me for flirting with someone and I just had enough of it. I decided to stay living in our house, Which was his before we met, Although I still love him I definitely think we need a break from each other Intimately, Our relationship was very volatile. For the last 2 nights when I got home from work, I came home to a house full of his friends, drinking, take out food & a messy home, He knows that drives me crazy and agreed when we got married not to do it so i know he's doing it to get a reaction out of me & Im trying hard to not give in, But I was so pissed off that he kept staring at me with a stupid smirk on his face, I wanted to scream at him.

 

Instead I went upstairs changed and got ready to go out with the girls, when I came down he looked at me & asked where was I going, I told him since he was having a boys night, Im having girls night, He pulled me aside asking was i going on a date and who was i going with etc, When he told me he loved me, I just smiled at him and walked out the door, He slammed the door behind me, When I was out he was constantly on my mind and I felt horrible and wanted to make things ok with us and clear the tension.When I got home he was already in bed & when I woke up he was gone to work. When its just the two of us alone he keeps doing little things that he knows annoy me then laughs when I get angry with him, Yesterday he did that and then started to kiss me, When I begged him to take this seriously he just said that everything will be fine with us again & that he still loves me. Deep down I don't want this break up but I know we need this if only for a break but he keeps making it so hard for me when he keeps coming up behind me and holding me trying to get us to have sex etc which im finding hard to ignore. Any advice?

 

Listen, you are married...what you guys need is marriage counseling. Not to move out or separate.

 

He's doing stuff to annoy you because by being annoyed you show you still love him. By doing the stuff to annoy you it shows he still loves you.....

 

Go find a marriage counselor, make an appointment and tell hubby to meet you there if he wants to stay married.

[oldshirt]

I am missing something here. You still live under the same roof and interact every day and are contemplating maintaining a sexual relationship, how are you separated now????