Starnette83 Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 Ok i love my bf so much, been together almost 4 years this december, had breakups but ended back together...anyways im always insecure and jealous...ive tried not to but its just so hard..i always try to make sure i please my bf sexually, dress sexy, and look pretty for him, and well i do all this cuz i dont want him to leave me for someone...silly eh? now im starting to think, i better learn to cook and etc... basically i wanna do certain things to improve myself so he doesnt get bored of me or doesnt find someone better...anyways i go thru his folder of school and i find girls #'s in there from his class..i get paranoid, and i even write those girls # down, dont know what for, maybe to call and hang up just to hear there voice.. Anyways i wonder, hmm how do they look? does he like them? they must like him...etc..etc.. i dont say anything to him tho cuz he already knows im a jealous gf but dont want him to keep knowing that cuz its a turn off... Anyways i always feel that other girls want my bf, cuz he is cute, he looks like chandler from friends, but with crystal blue eyes and a awesome personality Anyways hes never jealous with me, which makes me wonder why not? i wanna make him jealous, seeing him jealous would make me feel like "ya he does love me"...how can i do that? hes okw ith me talking to guys, and never has shown any type of jealousy, is it cuz hes so sure of my love towards him, or he knows how to hide it! Link to post Share on other sites
Defcon Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 Some guys have just no doubt that you wont cheat on them or go behind thier back... etc... That maybe why. At school do the other girls show interest with him? Do they flirt with him at all?? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 I'm curious as to why you guys had break ups in the past? Has he done anything to make you question his loyalty? Your jealousey does not sound healthy and you're right - it is a turn-off. Irrational jealousy only drives good people away. Anyways hes never jealous with me, which makes me wonder why not? Probably because he is secure in who he is, secure in his relationship & has more self-esteem than you do. i wanna make him jealous, seeing him jealous would make me feel like "ya he does love me"...how can i do that? You don't. He'll dump you. Is that what you want? You're making up scenarios, which are fiction, and then getting paranoid & jealous about them. Making him jealous isn't going to help you because this very much sounds like your problem & has nothing to do with him. When you find yourself doing this you have to try to step back & look at it with a clear mind. If there is nothing there than but your own machinations then you have to convince yourself that you are being illogical. I don't know how old you two are - but if you are seriously jealous, insecrue & paranoid I think you should consider getting some professional guidance because, as I said, this is not healthy and is more about your own sense of self-worth & self-esteem than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 Intentionally doing something to make your b/f jealous is not mature and he will, if he has any brains, see it for what it is, and call you out on it. Depending on what you choose to do, you may end up looking disloyal, cheap, cruel or just very, very young. All of which would, as a man, strike me as a b/s test, and the only way for a man to pass it is to walk away and find a girl who doesn't do stupid things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
SadAndLonely Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 So you're doing all these things to yourself to make yourself better....FOR HIM? Honey, you're young, but eventually you'll realize that a man truly worth having doesn't want some woman who gives up everything just to please him. No man wants to be the center of a woman's life, because that's a hell of a lot of pressure. I think you could curb quite a few of your problems by doing things for YOURSELF. Once you do, you'll realize there's no reason to be jealous or insecure, you'll stop giving up yourself for him, and you'll become more attractive to him, because a man wants a woman who's secure with herself and has her own thing going on. The way you're acting now will eventually drive him away. Trust me, I did it when I was younger. Link to post Share on other sites
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