why do I do this to myself?

[cheese e mac]

Hi there. I broke up with my boyfriend about 9 months ago. We were going out for about 8 months when I broke up with him. He was having alot of personal family issues and the entire thing was getting me down. Anyway, for a few different reasons, I decided it would be best for me to break up with him.

 

I've seen other guys since but I havn't clicked with any of them; they always turn out to be friends or just complete a**h***s.

 

When I do see my ex occaionally at the clubs, he acts like a complete dick, he's rude and makes comments that really hurt me. I've learnt how to deal with him and he doesn't get to me like he use to. The strange part is:

 

I've been having all these dreams of my ex lately. I dream that I've given him another shot and it works out great. The confusing part is that I still think of him alot, even though I know it wouldn't work out again. How do I get my mind off of him? It seems that whenever a new relationship fails, I think of him and the good times we had. I seem to forget all the times he made me want to choke him, all the times he made me cry.

 

I know it's wrong to even think of wanting him back but I can't push it out of my mind completely. Should I just keep dating around? I hate to do that. Any advice would be great. Thank you!

[Tony T]

Give yourself some time. You'll forget this guy. He was obviously not good for you at all. I have no idea why you dream about him except that his face probably represents someone else who will come into your life in the future. Or your subconscious mind may just wish things would have turned out a lot better than they did.

 

Be patient. There are nice guys out there and you'll meet one of them, I promise.

[Stargazer]

What I know about dreams and the subconcious is this: consiously you haven't quite gotten over him (emotionally) there's still a thread you are hanging on to, subconsciously you are replaying things with him but with a happy ending. We humans like happy endings with things we were emotionally invested in. It's wishful thinking. It's normal.

 

What ever you do don't ever get involved with him. You did the right thing. Give yourself time and I promise you your subconcious will catch up to reality. Eventually. It doesn't help that you still see him, it only brings him and your past to your minds forefront again. If you didn't see him at all in all this time, you'd be way over it (subconciously).

 

*Warm Hugs to You*

[Deejette]

He has been acting rude and that is real life, not a dream. Dreams may be fun to analyze, but it is reality that counts and people's actions. His behavior towards you shows you much more than your dream.

What I know about dreams and the subconcious is this: consiously you haven't quite gotten over him (emotionally) there's still a thread you are hanging on to, subconsciously you are replaying things with him but with a happy ending. We humans like happy endings with things we were emotionally invested in. It's wishful thinking. It's normal.

 

What ever you do don't ever get involved with him. You did the right thing. Give yourself time and I promise you your subconcious will catch up to reality. Eventually. It doesn't help that you still see him, it only brings him and your past to your minds forefront again. If you didn't see him at all in all this time, you'd be way over it (subconciously). *Warm Hugs to You*