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In love with my best friend...


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We've known each other about 8 years and have had a really great connection from the start. unlike any other relationship i've ever had(romantic or platonic). We had sex once about a month into knowing one another(we were 18, i got pregnant, but decided to abort. He knows but I didn't tell him until after the fact and it's not something we've ever really talked about) After that we kept things platonic yet flirtatious and remained very close. Fast forward 8 years later...we're both single for the first time in 6 years and started to be intemate again...when I was in town.

 

I currently live in NYC, he lives in LA. But my family is there so I visit often. I was recently in town for 3 months and we were spending a lot of time together. Maybe 5 times a week. We weren't technically dating but we might as well have been (and everyone always thinks we're a couple). Well, In the midst of my 3 month stay he says " We can't do that(have sex) anymore because we're just friends, right?" I think he was trying to give me the oppertunity to talk about "us" but I'm terrible at expressing how I feel so I said nothing.

 

So we stopped having sex and sleeping in the same bed at night but we were still spending all of our free time together. it was a little confusing because he said what he did yet would go out of his way to say how beautiful he thinks I am or how great I looked every time we saw eachother. Or make comments like how he sometimes gets nervours and feels the need to impress me. He also tells me he loves me pretty often. And we still kiss. Not full on make-out or anything but still more than just a friendly peck on the lips. Anyways I've been back in NY for a bit and at first we were still talking a lot and having skype dates but now he has a new gf. I know I have no right to be but I'm so hurt. I don't understand how he can meet someone start a new relationship and get so serious so quickly.

 

I've been gone less than 2 months! I feel replaced. Could he just be trying to fill the void? i should have said something before i left town, but i was a little torn and kinda scared. Do I come clean with how I feel? Is it direspectful to his current relationship to even bring it up? I know we live on different coasts so it seems almost pointless to say anything but I can't think about anything else. It's kinda be eating me up inside. I love him, always have.

 

Please Help!

 

Sorry for the novel, but i wanted to give some history.

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It's very simple.

 

You were FWB's.

 

he met her at the time he told you 'you couldn't have sex any more because you were just friends, right?'

 

That's why the physical side of things stopped.

 

Up to then, you were 'committed', but he was 'foolin' around'.

he never did have the depth of feelings for you, that you had for him....

 

Poor communication (on both sides) and tacit approval on your part has led to this.

 

Sad to say, it is what it is, hun.....

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Thanks for the respone...

He actually met and started sating her the week after i left town. and he was never fooling around with anyone else while we were having sex. not sure if that really makes any difference though...

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sadly, obviously it doesn't.

 

You only really have his word about the timeline.... really, don't you?

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