love4menotu Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Married just over a year. In the beginning he was a dream. Wonderful lover and friend. Two weeks after the wedding it started. He came downstairs in the middle of the night when I was having one of my insomnia episodes.. started screaming at me how I didn't love him any more and all I cared about was reading on the internet. I was shocked... stunned at his behavior. I told him to stop yelling at me NOW... and that I would not speak any more to him until he had calmed down. Needless to say that didn't work. We tried a "safe" word. Where if I spoke this word he would know that his voice was becoming too loud and that he was scaring me ... use the word and he would stop. Didn't work. He just got irritated and told me to shut up about it. I suggested counseling. He said we didn't need it. I was beginning to regret marrying him. I know it showed in my reactions to him.. I felt myself distancing from him since I never knew what would set him off next. I was terrified that he would scream at me in front of my children and then they would dislike him. I could NOT stay married to him if my children were afraid of him too. Once every other month verbal assaults escalated into once every two weeks. I was planning my escape in the back of my mind. He had to go. We attempted counseling, but I was already on my way out the door. He was too threatening to my safety, both financially and emotionally. He began spying on me. Every website I visited, every minute of my day, every debit on the card, every conversation with a friend was questioned. He made my life a living hell. I had no privacy. Couldn't even go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without being asked "where are you going?". I felt more and more suffocated every day. More devalued, less of person, criticized for the slightest infraction (not emptying the dryer lint, not turning the dog gate facing this way not that way, don't leave a candle burning, don't leave the lights on, don't let the cat in the garage...) He then insulted me in front of his son. We were passing a dairy farm, his son in the back seat.. and husband says to me... "close your legs, that stinks". I'm completely flabbergasted. Want to jump out of the moving car and get away from his nasty comment. Realize that he hates me.. and it's coming out in big and little ways. I come home one day from time spent with a girlfriend (who he apparently hates for absolutely NO reason) and it happens. He screams at me in front of my children.. that I am cheating on him and he has EVIDENCE!!! If it wasn't so horrifying it would have been funny. How his strange mind warps everything and everyone he touches. That was it for me. Two months later I had to call the police for another verbal assault, but after that he was OUT of my home. For good. Divorce will be final in a month. He blames me for destroying the marriage... and in my mind it really doesn't matter, he can blame me all he likes. What matters is that my peace and serenity are back and my children and I are safe from harm. Safe from HIM. Take it from me ladies... if he seems too good to be true... just wait. And wait longer than I did before you marry him. Blessings, Lyn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I'm glad you left. You deserve better than that. Never settle. Link to post Share on other sites
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