True of false? Men and women are equally "shallow" when selecting mates

[BeholdtheMan]

Men focus on a women's looks

 

Women focus on men's looks and money/status (status covers confidence and charisma)

 

To sum it up, men care more about appearance, whereas women of course still care about a man's appearance but also have more materialistic concerns

 

 

Fact of the matter is...neither gender is sexually attracted to good moral character or personal integrity. These considerations are major factors when considering long-term relationships or marriage...but they're not the basis for sexual attraction.

[MrCastle]

Equally shallow. A lot of the negative traits thrown around here belong to both men and women.

[rocketman122]

Everyone wants to date someone attractive. the women, on the whole, ALSO care about the persons personality, but believe you me, they want to date a good looking guy. or at least a persons who's in their level.

 

for me, the person has to be beautiful to me, but I also care who the person is. ive passed on sending messages to women when I did old because frankly there is no compatibility.

 

Ive dated women who were 6-7/10 and my sister/mom have said I have weird taste in women. but if shes attractive to me thats all that matters, not what the outside judges her.

 

beauty matters less with women. IMO sex appeal is much more important.

[Woggle]

Pretty much true. We love to point fingers at each other but are very much alike.

[Stay]

I think it's true to an extent.. There are uglier men without money dating prettier women and uglier women dating better looking men also. I personally think those shallow thoughts are more of a first impression but once I get to know the person the person will seem more attractive to you. I've talked to girls that weren't someone I would go for in the first place but after getting to know the girl she became more attractive for some reason and I thought she was very pretty after a while, I'd say she was a 7 and after getting to know her it went to an 8/8.5. The reason I think is there's more to love than just looks and that proves it.

 

In the end even if I was a 10, I rather date an average looking girl with great personality than a 10 with an ok personality. That personality the average girl has will make her a 10 in my eyes.

[sillyanswer]

Some people are shallow. Some people are less shallow. It isn't gender-specific but down to individuals.

 

But, even if it was gender-specific - so what?

[Mascara]

People have different varying degrees of shallowness and what ATTRACTS them to someone. But what KEEPS you with someone - men and women want the same amount of things, more or less.

 

I get a little tired of men saying as long as a girl is hot that's all they care about, but for a woman he has to be hot AND rich AND everything else.

 

Women might look at the whole picture before they date someone, but men look at it afterwards. It's not enough for a girl to just be pretty for a man to stay with her.

[TouchedByViolet]

I always felt that men tend to find a larger percent of the female population attractive compared to the smaller percentage of men women find attractive.

[sweetkiwi]

I can safely say I am shallow in my own special way

[Drseussgrrl]

Another shallow thread?

[Southern Cal Dude]

Both are shallow, but women more so IMO. Guys generally give most women some form of attention. Women, however, ignore most men. There was a study done that said women find 80% of men undesirable.

[rocketman122]

Both are shallow, but women more so IMO. Guys generally give most women some form of attention. Women, however, ignore most men. There was a study done that said women find 80% of men undesirable.

 

Thats ok, I find 80% undesirable.

[carhill]

IMO, all humans have the potential to be superficial and most humans change constantly throughout life, meaning that one can be superficial at some point in their life and non-superficial at another point or vice-versa. There is no universal truth, only individuals wending their way through the milieu we call life.

 

Further, if being 'non-shallow' is supposedly some 'high road' in living, there is no reward in life for being so. People taking the 'high road' don't receive a more handsome death than those who take the low road. Granted, how they perceive themselves during their lives may vary and indeed can be more personally satisfying, but only the person themselves knows what's in their own mind.

 

I'll offer up the case of Norman and Peggy Lloyd, probably unknown to most people. Met young, both pursuing what is now often referred to as a 'shallow' career, she being a couple years older. Married in 1936; remained married until she died in 2011 at age 98. Norman is still around today, now the same age. Were they equally shallow in selecting the mate they each remained with for 75 years? What could 'shallow' look like in one's 90's? How does one change or not change throughout life? Interesting. Hope I live long enough to learn some of the lessons that Norman and Peggy could've taught me.

Edited October 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[soccerrprp]

Both are shallow, but women more so IMO. Guys generally give most women some form of attention. Women, however, ignore most men. There was a study done that said women find 80% of men undesirable.

 

Hmmmm. Please try to find this study. I am curious how one would even go about (objectively) doing such a study. Also, men giving women more attention is not an indication that men are less "shallow" in selecting mates.

 

Anyhoo, I am a little conflicted with this question. On the surface, the obvious answer should be that women and men both and "equally" have some shallow criteria for selecting their mates, but my personal observation and experience tugs me towards men having a slight edge on the "shallow" scale.....very slight edge.

 

The term "shallow" is also subjective. What one sees as a shallow criterium another sees as a legit preference.

 

So, I want to date (and do) a fit (slim), health conscious, professional, open and communicative, traditionally well-educated woman who leans left. Is any of this "shallow?"

[Southern Cal Dude]

Hmmmm. Please try to find this study. I am curious how one would even go about (objectively) doing such a study. Also, men giving women more attention is not an indication that men are less "shallow" in selecting mates.

 

Anyhoo, I am a little conflicted with this question. On the surface, the obvious answer should be that women and men both and "equally" have some shallow criteria for selecting their mates, but my personal observation and experience tugs me towards men having a slight edge on the "shallow" scale.....very slight edge.

 

The term "shallow" is also subjective. What one sees as a shallow criterium another sees as a legit preference.

 

So, I want to date (and do) a fit (slim), health conscious, professional, open and communicative, traditionally well-educated woman who leans left. Is any of this "shallow?"

 

 

The Internet is your friend. You'll find it.

 

Men and women are shallow with different things, but men have less deal breakers. Men may be more shallow with looks, but women have income, status, and popularity.

[USMCHokie]

The term "shallow" is also subjective. What one sees as a shallow criterium another sees as a legit preference.

 

So, I want to date (and do) a fit (slim), health conscious, professional, open and communicative, traditionally well-educated woman who leans left. Is any of this "shallow?"

 

Yes, to a person who is not fit (slim), you will be accused of being shallow. People hate on what they don't have themselves, and by calling you out as "shallow," they have exonerated themselves from not meeting up to your preferences. Rather than them not being "good enough" for you, you are not "good enough" for them because you're "shallow." It's simple deflection.

[PJKino]

Women are more imo especially with old becoming so big and more men being on there so women can afford to shoot for the stars..

 

Plus as someone said men are attracted to alot mroe diverse group of women and willing to give them a chance then vice versa..

 

In my social circle all the women are attracted to my good looking friend[including the married ones] women imo do not have a very diverse taste in men its mostly the same cookie cutter pretty boys they like..

[pcplod]

Men focus on a women's looks

 

Women focus on men's looks and money/status (status covers confidence and charisma)

 

To sum it up, men care more about appearance, whereas women of course still care about a man's appearance but also have more materialistic concerns

 

 

Fact of the matter is...neither gender is sexually attracted to good moral character or personal integrity. These considerations are major factors when considering long-term relationships or marriage...but they're not the basis for sexual attraction.

 

Your 'scientific survey' omitted a third possible response.

 

"Who cares"?

[LittleTiger]

Nobody is shallow.

 

We all like what we like - it's a biological thing and we're stuck with it - and sexual attraction is never just about looks - on either side.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Women are more imo especially with old becoming so big and more men being on there so women can afford to shoot for the stars..

 

Plus as someone said men are attracted to alot mroe diverse group of women and willing to give them a chance then vice versa..

 

In my social circle all the women are attracted to my good looking friend[including the married ones] women imo do not have a very diverse taste in men its mostly the same cookie cutter pretty boys they like..

 

 

Exactly. I've been propositioned by females from 15-50+. I happen to be that cookie cutter pretty boy you're referring to. Women are most definitely shallow when it comes to looks as well. Difference is while they'll make average guys wait, they'll put out for guys like me without a second though...and they'll deny it. "Oh I don't have casual sex"

[USMCHokie]

Nobody is shallow.

 

We all like what we like - it's a biological thing and we're stuck with it - and sexual attraction is never just about looks - on either side.

 

Disagree...

[therhythm]

I can safely say I am shallow in my own special way

 

You mean lovely shallow? Sweet Shallow? Beautifully shallow? sexy shallow?

[soccerrprp]

The Internet is your friend. You'll find it.

 

Men and women are shallow with different things, but men have less deal breakers. Men may be more shallow with looks, but women have income, status, and popularity.

 

Yup, found it. From OKCupid (quite scientific [sarcasm]). It should also be noted that if you look further, though men "rate" more women average than women rate men, they ACTUALLY contact the most attractive FAR more often than the average and below average. So, this study tells me that women are more honest and that men are still over reaching when it comes to contacting women who they deem attractive.

 

I guess my view comes from my own experience and conversations with women. I have only met ONE woman who I would have characterized as having needs and wants beyond the physical and emotional, but even her reasons were legit and based on past negative experiences. I have found that most women are looking for healthy, stable relations most of all and of course with that, a decent looking guy.

 

Aagh. This discussion is rather pointless, really.

[PJKino]

Exactly. I've been propositioned by females from 15-50+. I happen to be that cookie cutter pretty boy you're referring to. Women are most definitely shallow when it comes to looks as well. Difference is while they'll make average guys wait, they'll put out for guys like me without a second though...and they'll deny it. "Oh I don't have casual sex"

 

Yeah if you're very good looking women are willing to throw their shame to the side and have casual sex even if they know youre juggling tons of other women,my good looking friend is a known player and these women still dont mind being just one of many

[Emilia]

Disagree...

You can't separate physical from non-physical. Most of the time people are not conscious of it.