courtnee Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 My current relationship has been going on for a little over a year and has been a roller coaster of good times and bad times. We fight about things like not spending enough time together (mostly because he doesn't have the time for it because he works two jobs), and how we ARE quite incompatible when it comes to our relationship styles. He doesn't believe this, but I know it's true. I am dependent and am working through these issues with him and he is working through his weird relationship style issues with me lol. So basically we are helping each other through our issues and have made a lot of progress, but because it's a work in progress we have a lot of clashing. Is it possible to progress into a beautiful, compatible relationship when two people are committed to working through their issues and the relationship starts off less than perfect? Edited to add: Because of these issues, I feel like I never got to go through the madly in love stage where I am bunnies and rainbows all the time because we had issues from the start. But maybe it can get to that point if we can conquer our issues? The reason I ask is because I DO want to be with him - I think. He wants to marry me, and knows I am the only woman out there for him. While I'm not an insanely jealous person, I still can get a little irked when a guy I'm with looks at another female or watches a lot of porn. With him, he never looks elsewhere and I would NEVER have to worry about that. He watches porn and it doesn't bother me a bit because I am so secure knowing he adores me. While I am not sure I feel quite as strongly as he does regarding him being 10000% the right person for me, I am willing to commit to this relationship because he has so many qualities that I want in a man and is a GREAT person. I do adore him so much. The little things that bother me now are pretty superficial and I don't want to throw something away over small things because that's just not right. But I also don't want to commit to something that will continue to have major issues and just live on a roller coaster for life...that sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 As long as you two are committed to making things work, it can. Just work towards a common goal and learn patience. Relationships are marathons, not sprints. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 It is rare but possible. The last relationship I was in that was like that, I was head over heels in love and married him. As we grew older, his views changed along with many other things. In my relationship now? We have gotten in a serious argument maybe... twice? Other than that we rarely bicker or anything. How old are you OP? The big red flag I caught was the fact that you are not SURE. It is ok to not be sure, but don't get married feeling that way. Also, what kind of relationship values are different? That could pose a HUGE problem later on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author courtnee Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 I'm 27, he's 31. The problem is I've never been SURE of anything. I am always second guessing myself and just when I've deceived myself into thinking I'm sure of something I freak out and go running in the opposite direction. The only thing I'm sure of is that I love my family lol. As far as relationship values, we are similar. It's just certain little things like the fact that I want him to communicate more with me as far as his work schedule as I tend to get very let down if I have my heart set on seeing him and he has to work. Also one thing that concerns me is that he doesn't connect his life with mine. It's his life and our relationship. I have only met his best friend and that was only one time. I haven't met his family, but that's a whole other story because his family are all cuckoo and live 4 hours away. He has met mine several times, but just recently has he started coming around. I have put my foot down before and been like, "this is weird..." and he gets all upset and then will be like "so you are going to walk away from someone who loves you unconditionally and wholly?". And no I don't want to leave that. But I feel like it's constant push and pull. Constant. We are rarely on a stable plane for longer than a week or two. There's a fight after that period in which he stops talking to me for several days and I say I'm done. He reels me back in. He's not manipulative or abusive, but he has some weird ways of going about being in a relationship. I don't see how it could work for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
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