canuckprincess Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Well, if you're satisfied with sharing a man with his wife, never having an open relationship with him, never living with him or having any kind of status or importance other than as the OW, then, unfortunately, you will never experience anything better or even know what you are missing, since you will never experience anything better. As long as you are OK with the status quo, nothing will change. Apparently, you are OK with your limited role. It's unfortunate that you don't wish it to be anything more than that, or are willing to tolerate it being nothing more than At this time I don't have time for more, this works for us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I know you meant your title to be tongue in cheek, but yes, I think it can impact the relationship/affair. I'm just about through Day 1 of my plan to eliminate the physical aspect of the friendship. We talked once and I called him back once, but it went to voicemail (no big deal there). The conversation was g rated. It's a major thing for me, but there will be people who think I should just go full Nc and that's it. I predict LC will happen in a few months. If I'm not strong enough and continue the physical, I will probably drift away from this board for two reasons. 1. It isn't meeting my needs as an other woman and 2. Since I'm going against the majority rule here, why continue to get told what an awful, selfish Jezebel I am? But, whomever said it, yes, anyone who posts here needs to take what people say with a grain of salt. Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I think your neighbor needs you to believe in bullsh*t so you can help her believe in bullsh*t You maybe right, but that doesn't change a single thing. I'm a free thinker and a strong independent woman. Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Damnit, Canuck, I like you so much. I want you happy. You're one of few posters, that I truly (IRL) worry about once I log off. And sorry...I quoted the wrong post...blonde moment. Aww thank you, that's very sweet. I truly am ok with how things are at this time. If and when it doesn't work for me I can walk away. I also know very well that my mm is a cake eater cause I'm a wonderful baker lol. All kidding aside I'm in full control of my life and my relationship. But again thank you for you continued concern and support. Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 But a sad one. Why a sad one? Because I'm not just like everyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 It sounds like canuck is okay with her situation at the present. Canuck seems to be a take-it-one-day-at-all-time kinda fall. I was okay with my situation with xMM while I was taking care of the kids, going to school and working full-time. It was when I was done with school and had more free time that I wanted more. I wanted to spend time with him but he wasn't permitted to leave the house due to his codependent, controlling wife. When he didn't fight her on it, I had to end the relationship. So who knows, maybe canuck's situation will change and she will want more down the road. To each his own. If she is truly happy, then that is what matters. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 It sounds like canuck is okay with her situation at the present. Canuck seems to be a take-it-one-day-at-all-time kinda fall. I was okay with my situation with xMM while I was taking care of the kids, going to school and working full-time. It was when I was done with school and had more free time that I wanted more. I wanted to spend time with him but he wasn't permitted to leave the house due to his codependent, controlling wife. When he didn't fight her on it, I had to end the relationship. So who knows, maybe canuck's situation will change and she will want more down the road. To each his own. If she is truly happy, then that is what Thank you, I am happy, I could be happier I guess but I'm not unhappy. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I was on another OP site that was more supportive of the OP than here. And I was very transparent with him about it, pushing him to read there. While it was very supportive of the OP, it was still honest and reality was heavily discussed. He was not always a fan of that site and would grumble that it would stir things up. Maybe, but they were things worth pondering. I found it extremely helpful for me and making sure I was looking out for myself. Due to that site and people on it, I made sure we had a timeline, the discussions that we did, I made sure that I walked when I did, etc. I made sure to not lose myself in the relationship and I learned so many things from those lovely ladies and gents. But yeah, reading other people's stories can show you similarities, patterns, previously unknown obstacles and pitfalls. But it can also show you how some people are achieving happiness, it can help you formulate your thinking to notice your own thoughts, feelings, desires, and come to a better understanding. Take what you need, leave the rest. I did not find this site to be conducive for me in the affair so I didn't post here much. So that may be the case for others. But for some it may offer what you are looking for. There are many roads to Rome, keep looking if you want to, or stay and ponder what everyone is saying. Link to post Share on other sites
If-I-Only-Knew Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 LOL I've started being very up front (more) with what I want and need since coming to this board and bringing up subjects because of this board, including needing to know dates when X will happen, what will happen if X happens, etc., etc., as well as becoming more skeptical about EVERYTHING (and I honestly hate to be like this in a relationship, but feel it's to protect myself at this point). It may make or break my relationship. My friend (WS having multiple A, I didn't know this about friend until AFTER I got involved with a MM, ftr) is the only one that I've told about this board and says it's bad for my peace of mind to come here. I think knowledge is power, although it certainly hurts to see the same ole' lines that I've heard being said here. Makes you wonder if there's a cheaters hand book out there with all of these lines that draw us in. "Cheating for dummies", maybe? I'm curious if others out there that gained knowledge and power by coming to this board changed their relationship and how? Ended it, asked for more, etc., etc. bentleychic - Hmm....are you referring to the Bentley car or the college? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bentleychic Posted July 30, 2013 Author Share Posted July 30, 2013 bentleychic - Hmm....are you referring to the Bentley car or the college? Neither Link to post Share on other sites
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