Cocochai Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Okay I broke day 4 of my NC and I wish I didn't..., kicking myself hard. My NC started from me blocking and de-friending him on FB after being heart broken from seeing pics of him and his BS... He texted me saying he's near my work bld and just wanted to see if I could come out for a sec. I told him i couldnt... He text back saying he is on my street and just wanted to say "hi". Thinking I could at least see if I could be upfront about how I felt about seeing the pics, I told him we couldn't be friends anymore on FB because I don't want to see it anymore in my face even when we agree to stop the A. No text back... Not even a "I understand" or nothing.., Kicking myself and I wsh I never responded. I know I shouldn't have responded but I wanted him to know how I felt to get it off my chest. I maybe over thinking but, signs of a person not seeming to care pisses me off even more but... Glad I told him how I felt. I guess I set myself up huh? Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I am fighting the NC thing myself. It is a daily struggle. In your case, I don't see any harm. You didn't open any doors, not even a crack. You said what you wanted to say. If it made you feel better, it is fine. You let him know that you were not taking it anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fanine Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I know exactly how it feels getting that response. The times I have tried no contact I have got that.......I always tried to make him understand....I cant live the rest of my life with a MM. I cant just be at his beck and call...I always wanted to end it amicably... I think they do this partly as a power thing as he is more than likely to realise you are feeling exactly like this now....I always did, and I always end up almost apologising.....I just broke NC when he contacted me - we got back together again ........but now regretting it and furious with myself as he is being all hot and cold again..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cocochai Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 And that's exactly what I wanted him to see... I wasn't taking that mess anymore. Then when I got the silent text I told him perhaps we can chat via FB messenger (I know he can't because he has to delete every message and you can't search my profile when not friends) Still no text back. Well he can either accept it being that two adults should be able to end an A with no hard feelings, especially when you just want to say "hi" every now and then or kick rocks.. He prob just doesn't like the fact that we can't communicate the way he wants too. I agree NC can be a b@tch Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cocochai Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 I am fighting the NC thing myself. It is a daily struggle. In your case, I don't see any harm. You didn't open any doors, not even a crack. You said what you wanted to say. If it made you feel better, it is fine. You let him know that you were not taking it anymore. Thank you... I was kicking myself hard I don't like expressing how I truly feel about something and the person doesn't react to it.... Texting is so impersonal. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Okay I broke day 4 of my NC and I wish I didn't..., kicking myself hard. My NC started from me blocking and de-friending him on FB after being heart broken from seeing pics of him and his BS... He texted me saying he's near my work bld and just wanted to see if I could come out for a sec. I told him i couldnt... He text back saying he is on my street and just wanted to say "hi". Thinking I could at least see if I could be upfront about how I felt about seeing the pics, I told him we couldn't be friends anymore on FB because I don't want to see it anymore in my face even when we agree to stop the A. No text back... Not even a "I understand" or nothing.., Kicking myself and I wsh I never responded. I know I shouldn't have responded but I wanted him to know how I felt to get it off my chest. I maybe over thinking but, signs of a person not seeming to care pisses me off even more but... Glad I told him how I felt. I guess I set myself up huh? I learned that when you break NC and it doesn't result in the desired outcome you imagined/hoped for, it only strengthens your resolve to move on and the next time you want to break NC, remembering the last time and how the person ignored you/said something upsetting often acts as a deterrent. Blessing in disguise 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fanine Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Okay I broke day 4 of my NC and I wish I didn't..., kicking myself hard. My NC started from me blocking and de-friending him on FB after being heart broken from seeing pics of him and his BS... He texted me saying he's near my work bld and just wanted to see if I could come out for a sec. I told him i couldnt... He text back saying he is on my street and just wanted to say "hi". Thinking I could at least see if I could be upfront about how I felt about seeing the pics, I told him we couldn't be friends anymore on FB because I don't want to see it anymore in my face even when we agree to stop the A. No text back... Not even a "I understand" or nothing.., Kicking myself and I wsh I never responded. I know I shouldn't have responded but I wanted him to know how I felt to get it off my chest. I maybe over thinking but, signs of a person not seeming to care pisses me off even more but... Glad I told him how I felt. I guess I set myself up huh? And that's exactly what I wanted him to see... I wasn't taking that mess anymore. Then when I got the silent text I told him perhaps we can chat via FB messenger (I know he can't because he has to delete every message and you can't search my profile when not friends) Still no text back. Well he can either accept it being that two adults should be able to end an A with no hard feelings, especially when you just want to say "hi" every now and then or kick rocks.. He prob just doesn't like the fact that we can't communicate the way he wants too. I agree NC can be a b@tch Mine cannot seem to accept we can end it as friends. When I try to do so, he gets a real I dont care attitude....that hurts me so much. He uses the silent treatment...I have it today from him.....but he is the one who is married!!!! I have to get his stuff out of my house.....my only plan is to let this wash over....then when we are on good terms get the stuff out....then one day I will have to go NC and mean it. No replies at all...as soon as we engage they know we are back in it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cocochai Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 Mine cannot seem to accept we can end it as friends. When I try to do so, he gets a real I dont care attitude....that hurts me so much. He uses the silent treatment...I have it today from him.....but he is the one who is married!!!! I have to get his stuff out of my house.....my only plan is to let this wash over....then when we are on good terms get the stuff out....then one day I will have to go NC and mean it. No replies at all...as soon as we engage they know we are back in it... I think it's the "selfishness being exposed" when they show signs of being upset even tho they are the ones responsible. Sometimes I wonder how the BS deals with their negative sides. They can't fake the double life that good. Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Okay I broke day 4 of my NC and I wish I didn't..., kicking myself hard. My NC started from me blocking and de-friending him on FB after being heart broken from seeing pics of him and his BS... He texted me saying he's near my work bld and just wanted to see if I could come out for a sec. I told him i couldnt... He text back saying he is on my street and just wanted to say "hi". Thinking I could at least see if I could be upfront about how I felt about seeing the pics, I told him we couldn't be friends anymore on FB because I don't want to see it anymore in my face even when we agree to stop the A. No text back... Not even a "I understand" or nothing.., Kicking myself and I wsh I never responded. I know I shouldn't have responded but I wanted him to know how I felt to get it off my chest. I maybe over thinking but, signs of a person not seeming to care pisses me off even more but... Glad I told him how I felt. I guess I set myself up huh? You were nothing but honest, and if he can't accept that, then that is his loss. I blocked my xMM after I ended the A for the same exact reason. It is part of healing. Your doing this for YOU. If he can't accept that you can't be friends for the same reason, then he's selfish not thinking about your needs. I wouldn't be able to be friends with my xMM either. Feelings are still way too involved. It is a smart move to have healthy future relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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