Is my BF lying to me when he says he isn't oogling or attracted to other women?

[romanticrealist]

I see my boyfriend checking out other girls (very obviously, at times) but if I say one word about it, he gets defensive and pissed that I'm accusing him of such a thing. Even if I'm joking around about it and not actually mad!!!

 

I won't lie, I hate it when I see him do it, but it also hurts that he tells me one thing and swears up and down that it's the truth, and then acts completely different. I'm just confused. I honestly don't oogle other guys, is there a chance that he really doesn't oogle other girls? Or am I just being told "what I want to hear?"

[DerangedAngel]

Well, it's quite possible for guys to avoid checking out other girls.

 

But you're catching him doing it. What on earth does he claim to be looking at when you ask him about it? And guys think they're so sly.

 

My guess is he's telling you what you want to hear. If it really bothers you (And that's fine, by the way. I am extremely obsessed with wanting the guy I'm dating to think I am the hottest girl in every room. Most rooms? One room? Give me something, here!) let him know that you think it's disrespectful. Especially in front of you.

 

If he gets defensive, as in the past, there's not much you can do about that. And it doesn't mean anything. He may be sincerely upset that you think he is, or may be wanting you to shut up so he can stare some more.

 

Try bringing it up when you're alone - not right after you see it.

 

Cheers.

 

-Deranged

[John Charles]

he's checking out other girls. it could be a lot of things:

 

1) you're so hot that he feels he has to keep you down to his level by making you think your not worth that much (very clever=)

 

2) He might be getting bored with you. You could be hot, a great personality blah blah but he's just seen you too much and maybe seeking fresh faces

 

3) he wishes that girls fine body could go with your face or personality

 

guys can dream, but if he really loves you then he should be making the effort not to look around. I mean if this is in front of you then imagine what he does behind your back. Or don't. Either way confront him, in the best way, with honesty.

[DerangedAngel]

1) you're so hot that he feels he has to keep you down to his level by making you think your not worth that much (very clever=)

 

I pray I never date a guy that would do something like that. Bleh. That's not clever at all.

 

-DA

[romanticrealist]

Hmm, John Charles, I like #1!!! (except for the "bringing me down to his level thing

 

I would love to confront him with honesty, but it's just something he will not discuss. He wasn't doing it, I'm imagining things, I'm being irrational. Period. Thanks for your reply, btw!!

[romanticrealist]

DerangedAngel and JC, he's not "that kind of guy." He would never intentionally do something to make me feel bad, just to make him feel better.

 

I'm pretty sure it's one of two things, he doesn't want me to get mad or hurt, or maybe he really isn't looking. I just kind of doubt the second thing. Are there guys that really aren't interested in oogling?

[sami]

He is lying. Attraction to the opposite sex is very normal and natural if it was kept checked and under control.

[dyermaker]

He's lying. But not like, destructive lying, it's just a defensive mechanism against controlling behavior.

 

BTW, you're never 'joking around about it'. You're just expressing your insecurity in a joking manner, and any guy with a braincell or two knows that's the most dangerous kind!