BF Jealous - How to deal with it?

[smile2006]

My bf and I have been together for 1.5 years. Two months ago I moved away to start graduate school. We plan on getting married after I graduate in 2 years. Since I've been at school our relationship has been great and LD has not been as difficult as I anticipated.

 

Since I started school, I've become relatively good friends with a guy who I would never be attracted to. We've shared numerous meals, have a lot of the same classes and spend time hanging out outside of school. Tonight we went to see a play at school, had coffee afterwards and I got home at midnight. I called my bf and told him about my night and he got mad and asked me not to spend one-on-one time with him again, b/c he says that we basically went on a "date" and he really hates that.

 

When I explained to my bf that we went out alone b/c it just happened to be that none of our other friends were available today, he said that if no one else is available then I just shouldn't go out alone with him. I feel really frustrated because it's really hard for me to suddenly stop being friends with this person. I mean, we share the same classes, similar schedules, etc. I have agreed to make dinners or activities into group outings if this guy is involved, but I can't guarantee that I'll never be alone with him again b/c sometimes it just works out that we will ride the train together or something like that.

 

Do you think it is reasonable for my bf to ask me to not do one-on-one activities with this guy anymore? I mean, I guess I'm all right with it, b/c I really don't want to do anything that hurts my bf... but part of me just feels so uncomfortable with it b/c I don't want to feel like he controls me or controls what I do. Any advice on how to get over it? And how do I get my bf comfortable with the fact that there is no way I can guarantee that I'll NEVER be alone with this guy again?

 

Any advice would be really appreciated.

[Devildog]

In my experience, not knowing anything about the other guy causes alot of anxiety. If he has never met this guy and doesn't know what kind of person he is, and being so far away it is going to cause concern in most men. I have had some issues with my wife where I would get upset and "jealous" with her talking and spending alot of time with some guys and other guys it didn't bother me in the least. The ones that didn't bother me I knew some things about the other guy. I knew if he was a trustworthy kind of person. Of course some of the ones I have had a problem with I also knew the guy and knew he couldn't be trusted.

 

Being that you are currently in a long distance relationship, it is probably going to be hard for your BF and this guy to sit down and get to know anything about each other. I would suggest telling your BF as much about the guy and what you talk about as possible. If you don't hide anything he will be less likely to worry.