Worried I might have said something creepy.. Am I overthinking?

[fmfan08]

Been texting and phoning this girl for a while, who I haven't met. We've done snapchat, etc to clarify my pictures are who I say I am.

 

So I said to her "Tell me something about yourself, then I'll give you something about me" and she said "Well we can play the question game if you like.. Ask a question and il answer it, then il ask you and you answer :)"

 

Anyway we did that, went well.. But the end of the conversation went like this:

 

Girl - Haha.. Aww that's quite cute ah but not passed? I don't know I rarely remember. What's your longest relationship?

 

Me - Not passed, but I'm going to! Might start riding a camel instead.. And just over a year. Do you like massages?

 

Girl - ha ha you won't get far with that! Yeah.. Head massages the best.. Love my hair being played with and my head being rubbed! What's the biggest put off a girl can have?

 

(At midnight)

 

Me - Can have my best head massages if you're lucky! and if a girl has facial hair, kidding.. I'd say when a girl isn't confident in what she wants. What do you usually wear when you go to sleep?

 

Girl - A tshirt. I'm going to sleep now night

 

Girl - Xx

 

I was thinking about it and it felt like her reply was a bit abrupt, like she seemed creeped out? After looking at my reply, I was thinking what if it was too creepy considering we aren't in a relationship yet and we haven't met.

 

But then again, she randomly put a couple of x's in a second reply.

 

I don't want her to think I'm a creep now, but I don't want to look insecure by asking. If she acts "off" with me, would it be safe to assume this might be the cause?

[fmfan08]

All of your responses were creepy

 

That helps..

[KathyM]

I am assuming you actually want a relationship with her, in which case I'd suggest skipping the sex talk or sexual innuendos since you haven't even met the woman yet. A woman would think you are only interested in sex and not an actual relationship if you start talking that way before even meeting the woman. Most women are not interested in just something sexual. I'm guessing she shut you down because you were getting too heavy on the sexual innuendos.

[eddyctv]

Im missing the part that you thought may have been interpreted as creepy.

[fmfan08]

I am assuming you actually want a relationship with her, in which case I'd suggest skipping the sex talk or sexual innuendos since you haven't even met the woman yet. A woman would think you are only interested in sex and not an actual relationship if you start talking that way before even meeting the woman. Most women are not interested in just something sexual. I'm guessing she shut you down because you were getting too heavy on the sexual innuendos.

 

Yeah good point. Just to say, this is probably the first time I've been forward with her. I take it I should just keep getting to know her, such as her personality to get getting to know her? Avoiding sexual innuendos as you say, until if things got serious.

 

I don't want her think I'm going for her for sex, that isn't my intention. We click on the phone, etc and I like her personality a lot. Her looks are just a bonus.

[fmfan08]

Im missing the part that you thought may have been interpreted as creepy.

 

I don't understand you

[KathyM]

Yeah good point. Just to say, this is probably the first time I've been forward with her. I take it I should just keep getting to know her, such as her personality to get getting to know her? Avoiding sexual innuendos as you say, until if things got serious.

 

I don't want her think I'm going for her for sex, that isn't my intention. We click on the phone, etc and I like her personality a lot. Her looks are just a bonus.

Why not ask her on a date? Why the lengthy phone time? It's time to progress the relationship. Ask her out.

[fmfan08]

Why not ask her on a date? Why the lengthy phone time? It's time to progress the relationship. Ask her out.

 

Yeah, that's true. I told her I wanted to get to know her and she told me that's what she wanted, but I know she's a little fidgety in meeting because I'm technically a stranger so she's been wanting to get to know me more, use snapchat (to confirm I am who I am with my pictures) and so on.

 

I don't want to rush into asking her out if she isn't comfortable yet, but I will ask her out.

 

I'm not laying down all my cards on this girl by the way, even if I like her the most. I'm in contact with others too, keeping my options open.

[fmfan08]

She's asking you fairly serious stuff about relationships and what you look for in a partner. You're responding "hehe do you like massages?" and "hehe what are you wearing?" Not creepy at all.

 

Our whole conversation was random questions, each reply not really linking to the last, i.e she asks me a question, I reply, I give her a random question. She replied well to the massages one.

 

I did respond to those questions, so she knows what I look for.

 

Should I leave it a day then reinitiate the question game, avoiding all that "creepy" stuff? I don't want her to assume I am creepy, I want to get to know her interests, etc instead.

Edited July 30, 2013 by fmfan08

[eddyctv]

I don't understand you

 

What did you think was creepy?! I didnt see any text there that would be considered creepy.

[fmfan08]

What did you think was creepy?! I didnt see any text there that would be considered creepy.

 

Asking her about "what she wears to sleep". I've had some responses elsewhere that say similar to you, but I've had people say it is/might be creepy, as it's a bit forward.

 

Remember this is a girl I'm flirted with, getting to know for a while, who I've never met. I do plan to meet her, but I don't want "creepy vibes" forcing her to make up excuses to meet.

[Art_Critic]

not creepy if the convo was light and not serious... but she ended the convo because you were going down the path of possible phone sex and she saw it and nipped it right in the bud.

 

You need to ask her out on a proper date.. and leave the sex talk or possible sex talk off the table unless the mood provokes it, for you to bring it up will not go over well...

[fmfan08]

not creepy if the convo was light and not serious... but she ended the convo because you were going down the path of possible phone sex and she saw it and nipped it right in the bud.

 

You need to ask her out on a proper date.. and leave the sex talk or possible sex talk off the table unless the mood provokes it, for you to bring it up will not go over well...

 

Okay, so next time I contact her I have no memory of it. Suppose it shows insecurity?

 

Is it a bad sign that she nipped it in the bud or is it more like a test? I mean like, she's shown signs she doesn't want to go down that path yet, so is she testing me to see if i'll do this again? It's the first time i've ventured there, so I don't plan to unless the time calls for it.

[eddyctv]

Asking her about "what she wears to sleep". I've had some responses elsewhere that say similar to you, but I've had people say it is/might be creepy, as it's a bit forward.

 

Remember this is a girl I'm flirted with, getting to know for a while, who I've never met. I do plan to meet her, but I don't want "creepy vibes" forcing her to make up excuses to meet.

 

Dude...if that is considered creepy, or if YOU consider that to be even slightly creepy, then you have problems....

[fmfan08]

Dude...if that is considered creepy, or if YOU consider that to be even slightly creepy, then you have problems....

 

Suppose everyone has their opinions.

 

End of the day, I'm in two minds about her reaction because she answers the question, but then says she's going to sleep, then sends a second text with two kisses. Then replies to her girl mate on twitter 15-20 minutes later and that's it, she doesn't do anything else.

 

(It was about 30 mins to an hour between all our replies, as I was occupied with something. She might have decided to cut the at that time, expecting me to reply late, when she had to be going soon, it's a possibility anyway)

 

My gut tells me she seemed uncomfortable with it and is probably giving me the benefit of the doubt, because the rest of our conversations have been nothing like that, more to do with each other's interests.

 

I'm going to see it as a test, that she's going to see if I bring it up again. But I won't be bringing it up again, so I'll let it blow over and show her that my interest is in her personality at this stage.

Edited July 30, 2013 by fmfan08

[eddyctv]

Suppose everyone has their opinions.

 

End of the day, I'm in two minds about her reaction because she answers the question, but then says she's going to sleep, then sends a second text with two kisses. Then replies to her girl mate on twitter 15-20 minutes later and that's it, she doesn't do anything else.

 

(It was about 30 mins to an hour between all our replies, as I was occupied with something. She might have decided to cut the at that time, expecting me to reply late, when she had to be going soon, it's a possibility anyway)

 

My gut tells me she seemed uncomfortable with it and is probably giving me the benefit of the doubt, because the rest of our conversations have been nothing like that, more to do with each other's interests.

 

I'm going to see it as a test, that she's going to see if I bring it up again. But I won't be bringing it up again, so I'll let it blow over and show her that my interest is in her personality at this stage.

 

How old are you?

 

Im guessing she just got bored because you were taking so long to respond. Asking someone what they wear to bed is a completely innocent question.

 

Or she got bored by such tepid questions.

[fmfan08]

How old are you?

 

Im guessing she just got bored because you were taking so long to respond. Asking someone what they wear to bed is a completely innocent question.

 

Or she got bored by such tepid questions.

 

I'd assume she got bored of the wait, it was between 30 mins to an hour of me replying, but I was trying to balance other things.

 

Throughout the conversation, she was responding with lengthy replies and intrigue.

[Simon Phoenix]

Just go on a date already.

[eddyctv]

I'd assume she got bored of the wait, it was between 30 mins to an hour of me replying, but I was trying to balance other things.

 

Throughout the conversation, she was responding with lengthy replies and intrigue.

 

 

How old are you two?

[HokeyReligions]

Why are you asking strangers on the internet? Why aren't you talking to her?

[fmfan08]

How old are you two?

 

We're both 21

[fmfan08]

Why are you asking strangers on the internet? Why aren't you talking to her?

 

I want a second view on my situation. But yeah, I aim to progress with it this week.

[eddyctv]

We're both 21

 

21!?!?!

 

Come on man, grow a pair!

 

I would have guessed 15 or 16!

[fmfan08]

21!?!?!

 

Come on man, grow a pair!

 

I would have guessed 15 or 16!

 

Let's just say I haven't had the best of past relationships etc with girls. I also suffer a bit from depression too, the overthinking doesn't help. Guess I got to the point where I thought it'd be best to focus on myself, friends and career instead.

 

Silly yeah, but I guess my "true" confidence has been knocked a lot. The confidence I have at the moment in front of people is usually an act. Hopefully I can work on improving it.

[The Way I Am]

It could be taken either way. If you over think it like you are and then bring it up again, it'll be creepy.

 

I think Art is probably right. That and it was after midnight and you gave her a perfect segue to end the conversation for the night.

 

Don't bring it up. Just contact her like you normally would. Stick to light and flirty or get-to-know-you questions. Ask her on a date soon.