How can I tell him?

[serendip]

I'm trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend of 3 yrs all the problems I have in our relationship. I know he cares about himself more cause he's always right and his way is the way and if I put my two cents in, he blows me off. He works, comes home, goes into his "play" room and comes out when it's time for dinner. Then when he does come in, he goes to the bedroom to watch t.v. and get on the computer. He plays with his daughter for maybe 10 min and that's about it. And taking care of her, don't even go there. Does no housework including cleaning up after his ownself. And gets mad at me if I start to get burnt out on it all. On the weekends he doesn't do anything with us either. He flys little airplanes and watches t.v. I have asked to go do something but he says he's relaxing from the work week. I have no sexual desire anymore cause what's the point if there's no romance or a little foreplay. I sure do miss the beginning of our relationship. How do I go about telling him all my feelings without him getting mad and blowing it all off? When he ask if everything is alright, I just say yes cause nothing happens when I say no. Can anybody help with ideas? Thanks.

[ashesmum]

I think he really needs to be thankful for having a woman that does most the work to keep him happy. But when do you get to be happy?? You need to start thinking about yourself a little and about your daughter. Tell him you need some attention (as does your daughter). Tell him that it would be nice for him to show a little affection and respect. There's plenty of fish in the sea that would be delirious to have a caring and loving woman like you. Have your talk with him. See what he says. If he doesn't really take into heart what you said, then you should know it's not a lasting relationship.

I'm trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend of 3 yrs all the problems I have in our relationship. I know he cares about himself more cause he's always right and his way is the way and if I put my two cents in, he blows me off. He works, comes home, goes into his "play" room and comes out when it's time for dinner. Then when he does come in, he goes to the bedroom to watch t.v. and get on the computer. He plays with his daughter for maybe 10 min and that's about it. And taking care of her, don't even go there. Does no housework including cleaning up after his ownself. And gets mad at me if I start to get burnt out on it all. On the weekends he doesn't do anything with us either. He flys little airplanes and watches t.v. I have asked to go do something but he says he's relaxing from the work week. I have no sexual desire anymore cause what's the point if there's no romance or a little foreplay. I sure do miss the beginning of our relationship. How do I go about telling him all my feelings without him getting mad and blowing it all off? When he ask if everything is alright, I just say yes cause nothing happens when I say no. Can anybody help with ideas? Thanks.

[Jessie]

What men don't realize is that just cause you play the romantic gentleman in the beginning, doesn't mean the women want it to stop once it gets "comfortable". What's the point of dating someone if that's not how you really are. I know when I date a guy I go out with him cause that's the way I want a man. And for guys to blow it off after they know they can have "it" whenever they want is ridiculous. Which is why alot of relationships don't last until men are 35 or older (unless their brains realize it in their past relationships faster).

I'm trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend of 3 yrs all the problems I have in our relationship. I know he cares about himself more cause he's always right and his way is the way and if I put my two cents in, he blows me off. He works, comes home, goes into his "play" room and comes out when it's time for dinner. Then when he does come in, he goes to the bedroom to watch t.v. and get on the computer. He plays with his daughter for maybe 10 min and that's about it. And taking care of her, don't even go there. Does no housework including cleaning up after his ownself. And gets mad at me if I start to get burnt out on it all. On the weekends he doesn't do anything with us either. He flys little airplanes and watches t.v. I have asked to go do something but he says he's relaxing from the work week. I have no sexual desire anymore cause what's the point if there's no romance or a little foreplay. I sure do miss the beginning of our relationship. How do I go about telling him all my feelings without him getting mad and blowing it all off? When he ask if everything is alright, I just say yes cause nothing happens when I say no. Can anybody help with ideas? Thanks.

[Tony T]

You need to just sit him down and talk to him in plain English. Right now, your relationship is a big ZERO. You don't even have a roommate. You have described one of the most awful situations I have ever heard of.

 

Now, if he doesn't wish to listen or he blows up, just tell him you are making arrangements to cease the relationship. That may wake him up just a bit. I am so very sorry to tell you that you should have taken action a very long time ago. It is highly doubtful that if he improved at all after a talk or a scare that it would be a very meaningful or longlasting improvement.

 

This guy is a perfect bum who has absolutely no regard for you, his relationship, or anything that has to do with homelife.

 

There must be something about you that causes you to stay in such a terrible situation. I'm sorry you didn't share that with us.

 

I really wish there was hope I could give you but I just see your situation as NOT a happening thing. You deserve better.

 

If you endure another day of this crap, IT IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT and I do not blame your boyfriend one bit. He is just being himself and has showed you his butt. It is up to you to take charge of your life. I don't think you will ever get what you need from this turkey.

 

I have not read any of the posts above yet because I didn't want to be influenced by them. I hope they were more positive than me...for your benefit.

[Stargazer]

Sounds like this guys not interested you as a woman or as a person anymore, sad but true. He's gotten comfy in his own world.

 

You helped create this situation just as much as him, take some responosibility for that. Each and everyone of us sets our relationships as they are, you need to renegotiate this with him. I highly recommend you go get Dr Phil McGraw's "Relationship Rescue" book, yep that's the guy from Oprah, excellent strategies and advice for getting the relationship you want.

[sandy]

NO ONE deserves to be treated unimportant at anytime , He is being selfish and uncaring and if you don't stand up to him now and ask for what you need he will continue to treat you this way and worse because he can. Its time for a wake up call and if he doesn't get it get rid of him .

 

You deserve better !

[Deejette]

You have taken the role of Mom and he expects you to clean up after him and take care of stuff in general while he "plays." That is a mother-child relationship, not a boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife.

 

It is better be alone than to be Mom to someone who takes you for granted.

NO ONE deserves to be treated unimportant at anytime , He is being selfish and uncaring and if you don't stand up to him now and ask for what you need he will continue to treat you this way and worse because he can. Its time for a wake up call and if he doesn't get it get rid of him . You deserve better !