If a man makes it clear he only wants sex...

[ascendotum]

How does that make you feel? (women)

 

And guys, how do you generally feel about the women with whom you only want sex, rather than a relationship with? Do you respect them? it is something about them that you think makes them 'not good enough' to have a relationship with, or is it other reasons that makes you put them into the FWB/F*&^ buddies box?

 

Also, are men generally attracted to women they want this kind of relationship with, ore are they just opportunistic?

 

Thanks!

 

Just to add another opinion on this for you OP, but no new perspective. I also agree with the sentiments of mccastle, oldshirt & clonefactory. I have fond feelings of all my NSA encounters/relationships. I respected most of them but I cant say all. ie: trainwreck Amy winehouse type. I can't say I respect such a woman (its a strong word when extended to their total lifestyle), but then I don't look down on them or think lowly of them at all. I treat them well. I do know sleazy guys who will talk of the girl they are screwing as just another dumb skank they are dropping loads in. Her redeeming quality is she gives a good deep throat. For sure if the woman knew she was thought of like that to the guy's friends she would be horrified. I don't mean to come of as a jerk here just giving you a heads up.

 

Most guys are not so disrespecting or are users though imo. All guys that just want sex are not users, like a lot of women like to think, and it it also does not mean the girl is not good enough for a relationship. Often the 'not good enough for a relationship' is the case though. It can depend on the point in the guy's life you cross paths, though generally if a guy thinks you are the greatest thing out he wont want to lose you. For many though their awesome partner does not come along too often and they take being in a relationship very seriously. It does not mean the other prospects they encounter are poor quality by any means.

 

You need to be good judge of character to try avoid the guys who will think of you as notch #56 (or whatever number they are are up to) and once your bedded will be on the look out for #57. Most guys will turn on the charm to get in your pants though and with many you wont see their real character. I don't want to put you off NSA relationships, it just needs to be what you are comfortable with and ideally in your case you would need to have a good rapport with the guy and feel comfortable knowing he wants you to have fond memories of the time you spend together.

[MissBee]

How does that make you feel? (women)

 

And guys, how do you generally feel about the women with whom you only want sex, rather than a relationship with? Do you respect them? it is something about them that you think makes them 'not good enough' to have a relationship with, or is it other reasons that makes you put them into the FWB/F*&^ buddies box?

 

Also, are men generally attracted to women they want this kind of relationship with, ore are they just opportunistic?

 

Thanks!

 

If a man makes it clear he only wants sex, and I'm not into that, I am happy for her his transparency and boot him.

 

We all have a right to ask for what we want and I'd rather a dude flat out say he just wants to sleep with me, so if I choose to be with him, I am well-aware of what I am signing up for, versus him pretending, wooing me, acting like he wants more and essentially lying about his intentions.

[therhythm]

How does that make you feel? (women)

 

And guys, how do you generally feel about the women with whom you only want sex, rather than a relationship with? Do you respect them? it is something about them that you think makes them 'not good enough' to have a relationship with, or is it other reasons that makes you put them into the FWB/F*&^ buddies box?

 

Also, are men generally attracted to women they want this kind of relationship with, ore are they just opportunistic?

 

Thanks!

 

While I have see that other posters disagree and find it hard to believe I have the utmost respect for the women I have casual sex with. We are both mature people and we have a physical attraction that is not matched with an emotional connection. It is not that the woman I have sex with is not worth a relationship... simply I don't feel the compatibility emotionally while I see a physical attraction where we both can have sexual enjoyment.

 

I am totally open for a relationship but while for some casual sex physical attraction is enough for a relationship I need besides that physical attraction and emotional connection and a personality compatibility.

[hotpotato]

How does that make you feel? (women)

 

 

Thanks!

 

I'm fine with it, though I would decline. I'd rather a man be honest than waste time pretending like he likes me, like so many men have.

[desperategirl]

That's a really good way to put it. Very accurate.

 

There is a million miles of middle ground between Marriage material and a piece of meat.

 

 

I have had sex with many people and I can't say that I have ever thought of a single one of them as a piece of meat nor have I ever treated any of them as such.

 

Nor have I ever been treated badly even though there have been a number of women that have not had any interest in coming back for seconds.

 

This is really interesting to me - I suppose I have always thought of it in those kind of terms - almost like a Madonna/whore thing.

 

For me, if there's some kind of connection, I suppose I want to explore it with the possibility of a ful relationship, but in a way, it makes sense to be able to quickly eveluate what kind of relationship you want with a specific person, and then go with it.

 

But what value, if any, is there in a sex-only arrangement?

[happydate]

How does that make you feel? (women)

 

And guys, how do you generally feel about the women with whom you only want sex, rather than a relationship with? Do you respect them? it is something about them that you think makes them 'not good enough' to have a relationship with, or is it other reasons that makes you put them into the FWB/F*&^ buddies box?

 

Also, are men generally attracted to women they want this kind of relationship with, ore are they just opportunistic?

 

Thanks!

 

There is a general so called rule for man out there now today (I think it's promoting insecurity) and that is, He has to have sex with the woman he's dating in order to secure a relationship with her, usually within 3 dates or most 5 or she's gone. It's a variant of a game from the PUA circle as well as some general theory from Doc Love (known as Thomas Hodges) who is pretty well known in the 90s for the first man to crack the women code and understand women. Probably these men go to Askmen.com a lot to get advise.

 

Now my question to you is that, these men wouldn't ask you to have sex with you unless they smell some of your insecurities. They make a move like this once they realize your weaknesses. Secure and confident woman aren't usually their target.

 

Personally, I think sex is over-rated. You have sex whenever you feel like you have a deep connection with a person. Some people who had gone on into happy relationships had sex on the first night, 1 week later, months later or after marriage. There shouldn't be any timing or rules when you have sex. You know if it feels right to have sex and accept the consequences as long as it is safe sex. If you don't feel it's time yet, don't do it. Date more and if he's truly gone, then all he's looking for is a woman who's going to become one of his cum buckets. If it's ok with you because you are happy with having sex, then who's judging..

Edited July 31, 2013 by happydate

[desperategirl]

There is a general so called rule for man out there now today (I think it's promoting insecurity) and that is, He has to have sex with the woman he's dating in order to secure a relationship with her, usually within 3 dates or most 5 or she's gone. It's a variant of a game from the PUA circle as well as some general theory from Doc Love (known as Thomas Hodges) who is pretty well known in the 90s for the first man to crack the women code and understand women. Probably these men go to Askmen.com a lot to get advise.

 

Now my question to you is that, these men wouldn't ask you to have sex with you unless they smell some of your insecurities. They make a move like this once they realize your weaknesses. Secure and confident woman aren't usually their target.

Personally, I think sex is over-rated. You have sex whenever you feel like you have a deep connection with a person. Some people who had gone on into happy relationships had sex on the first night, 1 week later, months later or after marriage. There shouldn't be any timing or rules when you have sex. You know if it feels right to have sex and accept the consequences as long as it is safe sex. If you don't feel it's time yet, don't do it. Date more and if he's truly gone, then all he's looking for is a woman who's going to become one of his cum buckets. If it's ok with you because you are happy with having sex, then who's judging..

 

That is really, really interesting.

 

I do have insecurities (obviously!) but am unsire as to how they are manifesting themselves on dates. Hmmm. This is something I'm really going to think about.

 

As to your last paragragh...I think I'm cool with just having sex. I mean, I want to have sex, and I'm not that bothered about a relationship with this guy. Sex is pretty much all I want from him, and some degree of friendship to go along with that. But I still worry about appearing 'easy' or whatever, which is pretty stupid I guess, within the confines of what our arrangement would be.

 

Thanks for this reply!

[happydate]

That is really, really interesting.

 

I do have insecurities (obviously!) but am unsire as to how they are manifesting themselves on dates. Hmmm. This is something I'm really going to think about.

 

As to your last paragragh...I think I'm cool with just having sex. I mean, I want to have sex, and I'm not that bothered about a relationship with this guy. Sex is pretty much all I want from him, and some degree of friendship to go along with that. But I still worry about appearing 'easy' or whatever, which is pretty stupid I guess, within the confines of what our arrangement would be.

 

Thanks for this reply!

 

Appear easy?!? Once he asked for sex and you said you want that from him. It doesn't really matter does it with you? You want it, he wants it. As long as he's not some kind of woman beater or psycho or something and he's doing stuff with you safely.

[SoleMate]

I've read that many people in casual or F-Buddy relationships have rules such as no passionate kissing, no extended foreplay, no cuddling, no deep conversation, no post-sex activities....

In other words, take 95% of the fun out of it. Thanks I'll pass.

[BradJacobs]

I am interested in the bit where you said you will ''hold back emotional intimacy'' do you do that intentionally, you mean you want to kiss and hug, but you don't. How can you 'hold back' from being intimate wtih someone you were having sex with. apart from not saying I love you when you have had too many lol

A FWB doesn't get future speak, they don't get to share dreams of mine or what I want for a future with them in it ... that's stuff you talk about with your relationship partners. I don't go on vacations with FWBs. Anything that can contribute to them thinking that I somehow swung the pendulum to "he wants a relationship now" I avoid like the plague.

 

Those conversations to set a woman straight when she has misread the signs are not fun and typically spell the end of the FWB.

[Els]

If a man makes it clear he only wants sex...

 

Then don't have anything to do with him unless you yourself also only want sex. QED, no?

 

Basic compatibility.