NGC1300 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 (edited) People don't understand me. I'm too weird, and may never acquire social skills. So, I have to walk through life with people at times projecting their negativity or usually just being ignored. I feel like a martyr. I suffer every day, even though I could just end everything. I still choose to suffer, over and over. Suicide doesn't seem viable, so the only way I can imagine escaping is to withdraw even more. To literally attain a permanent state of mind that's unfazed and unburdened by all of the external world. I believe it's possible, but the task seems monumental, and feels impossible. Edited July 30, 2013 by NGC1300
Philosoraptor Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Martyrs suffer and die for a cause, what is your cause? From what you describe it doesn't seem like anything more than fear. Seems like you're the only thing stopping you from opening up. To answer your thread title: Growing up and in the past, I did suffer for what I thought was the well being and happiness of others. But I still wouldn't call that martyrdom. 1
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