forgetmenot75 Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 She'll be back in a week, telling us all about what a complete and total douchebag moron he was during his visit, and what should she do....? I get so mad that they don't realize they are being treated like doormats... I was like that a couple months ago, so I kind of understand that the addiction to the other person is so strong that they consciously try not to see the truth. But I get mad, because we are seeing things that they opt to avoid. This can last months or even years, until they realize we were right ugh. So irritating! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 ...This can last months or even years, until they realize we were right ugh. So irritating! OMG, I know.....! They met 18 months ago. AND he's cheated on her. Could it get any 'better'....?! Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Don't feel guilty. Relationships end all the time. I'm sure if your parents knew all the facts they wouldn't care that they spent a bit of time getting the house ready - they'd be glad that their daughter is no longer dating someone unworthy. Oh man, totally agree with this. Your parents don't like this dude. If you tell the guy not to visit, your parents will celebrate, not be annoyed they cleaned up for nothing. Then, you can enjoy the rest of your time at home with friends and family, rather than being tied up with some jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 First off I guess I should say that I haven't read the other threads so I don't know what his behaviour is like in general ... You need to. I guarantee your entire opinion would change. Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I wouldn't want to spend every lunch time separated from my friends just cause my girlfriend wants to call me. Would you still feel that way if you'd cheated on her, and you knew she was feeling anxious and worried about the fact that you spend your lunch breaks chatting with girls whose names you've been googling, instead of talking to her like you used to all the time? The context of the situation is everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author senoritabonita Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 (edited) Sheesh...im not saying the guy has to profess his undying love for me each and everyday he is eatng with his "friends" but what is once a week at least to pick up the phone or call?! Just show u care...we are at a distance say hello at least. He claims the coworkers he eats with are people i all know quite well. So why the difficulty?! In any case i brought it up to him and he went absolutely insane. Am i missing something?! If the same were requested of me i would be flattered and of course call him?! he said so.many awful things about me tonight and why!! Just so he doesnt have to call?! He resulted in calling me a "two year old with all these demands. Be mature. Do you have mental problems?! i am doubting u and doubting coming" he then says he will not take the phone with him at lunch and that is [email protected] dont see a prob w that?! What am i really asking here lol Edited August 1, 2013 by senoritabonita Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 You said that you talk to him every night on skype, till he falls asleep. WHY are you so needy that you cant wait until after work if he doesnt want to talk at lunch? YOU are entirely too needy IMO. You arent going to maintain relationships well if you keep trying to force your bf's to do what they dont want to do, and then guilt trip them about it. That said, you should still dump him, but I think he will beat you to it, because really, after your actions, you are kinda annoying. I can only imagine that you, like any other emotional dependent, will continue to deal with this because you cant handle the hurt, you cant be by yourself for any amount of time, and you dont want to do the work of finding someone new. Please tell me Im wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Why are you letting him disrespect you?? Your self esteem is below zero, you need to address this, dump him, and move on with your life!! Otherwise you'll be a wretch. Please, listen to the people who are giving you advice. Stop letting this idiot treat you like a dumb person when you are not! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Well excluding the part about him cheating in the past, it sounds like you're a bit clingy. I don't want my gf calling me during lunch every day. I mean if there's an issue sure, but not to just chat. There's plenty of time to chat when he gets home. It can be embarassing if your SO is calling you every day at lunch just to check in with you. Now after reading the bit about cheating in the past, it makes it a bit different....maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
eddyctv Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Well, if you want to get all technical on me... You're ignoring some important points here: 1. He has a history of cheating (and lack of remorse to go with that). 2. He's been Googling girls he knows. 3. He never used to mind phone calls at lunch, so why now? 4. He's abrupt when he does answer the phone at lunch AND defensive about it when challenged later. 5. Not willing to say "I love you" when surrounded by other girls at lunch time. Sure, it *could* be all innocent, but the OP has very good reason to be worried IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Sheesh...im not saying the guy has to profess his undying love for me each and everyday he is eatng with his "friends" but what is once a week at least to pick up the phone or call?! Just show u care...we are at a distance say hello at least. He claims the coworkers he eats with are people i all know quite well. So why the difficulty?! In any case i brought it up to him and he went absolutely insane. Am i missing something?! If the same were requested of me i would be flattered and of course call him?! he said so.many awful things about me tonight and why!! Just so he doesnt have to call?! He resulted in calling me a "two year old with all these demands. Be mature. Do you have mental problems?! i am doubting u and doubting coming" he then says he will not take the phone with him at lunch and that is [email protected] dont see a prob w that?! What am i really asking here lol You are teaching him to treat you this way. Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would have laughed and said, "**** you," and hung up and refused to communicate with him ever again. He will either dump you for another girl, or he will dump you for being a doormat. Do you want to be dumped for either reason and have no self-esteem remaining? There is only one classy, strong way to end this. It begins with "It's" and ends with "over." And if you can make your phone do a *click* when you hang up, all the better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I bet the jerk is about to board the plane now, and all her family, she included of course, are waiting for him with open arms in Canada. I don't really understand why people ask for help when the don't listen what we have to say. So frustrating ugh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Sheesh...im not saying the guy has to profess his undying love for me each and everyday he is eatng with his "friends" but what is once a week at least to pick up the phone or call?! Just show u care...we are at a distance say hello at least. He claims the coworkers he eats with are people i all know quite well. So why the difficulty?! In any case i brought it up to him and he went absolutely insane. Am i missing something?! If the same were requested of me i would be flattered and of course call him?! he said so.many awful things about me tonight and why!! Just so he doesnt have to call?! He resulted in calling me a "two year old with all these demands. Be mature. Do you have mental problems?! i am doubting u and doubting coming" he then says he will not take the phone with him at lunch and that is [email protected] dont see a prob w that?! What am i really asking here lol He's a remorseless, cheating, p*ssy-chasing douche. For some bizarre reason, you're still not getting that. THAT is what you're missing. THAT is the difficulty. *Must go find brick wall to bang head into now...* Link to post Share on other sites
MrRightNow Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 This guy obviously can't be trusted. Do yourself a favor and dump him. Don't waste any more years of your life on him. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I'm going to join TaraMaiden and say: Dump the JERK. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 It's pretty clear that this guy is tired of you and is in the process of courting other girls. He has already shown you who he is. I'm surprised you are still talking to him after the way he has responded to you. If he loved you he would talk to you while he's eating lunch. When a man loves a woman he wants to/has to communicate with her. They want to hear your voice. I agree with the poster that said this thread should have ended on page 1. Link to post Share on other sites
jennifersmith Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 There are actually a few reasons why he asks you not to call: 1) he has new colleagues that joined the lunch and he is not comfortable talking with you over the phone. 2) he loves you, but he might not want to spend ALL hours (he spent hours talking with you at night before he falls asleep) talking with you and associating with you. He also wants his own life. 3) There is a new colleague that he's taking an interest in, and he doesn't want her to know about you (But I would think that his colleagues, which you know well, would have told her about he has a gf). 4) he just found it boring to have to report to you everyday at the same time, is like he's on probation and it gets annoying. I don't really agree that previous posters said if you "love" a person you have to feel obligated to do everything they ask you to. If your BF IS cheating, I am sure he can still walk away/ pretend to go to the bathroom etc to make a quick call to you IF he's actually cheating and wants to hide it from you. The fact that he is insisting is perhaps to show you that he don't always do what you want. My ex BF used to call me over lunch/ work hours and made me to "talk" sweet to him. I found it extremely annoying, irritating, immature and unprofessional. Though I would say if your BF didn't find this a problem before, he sldn't find this a problem now. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Talking at lunch is the least of your problems. This guy is a turd. You have to be a complete doormat to keep accepting crap behavior or maybe you're in such denial that you don't want to gaze any deeper into what's infront of you. AS A WHOLE, your boyfriend is a douchebag. Get it? Hello! That is what people are trying to tell you. Forget lunch. PS: Skype all night until you fall asleep. Then must talk everyday at lunch. Geesh. Too much. But then again, it could stem from your insecurities being with a cheater. It only gets worse. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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