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MM/MW not sleeping w/ BS a "myth"


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Yes there are sexless marriages and there are marriages where sex is infrequent.

 

Personally I would be very skeptical of a MM telling me he is in a sexless marriage. I would wonder what is his agenda. Is his agenda to stay married and find sex elsewhere?

 

For me, I want a monogamous relationship. Both emotionally and physically. The MM relationship would never work for me. I know they lie. They are lying to their wife.

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So happy together
In most of the threads here asking if MM is still having sex with BS" you can hear crickets and see tumbleweeds blowing through.

 

Well, I can only speak for myself. There were emails of him telling her he was tired of living in a sexless marriage, that it had been twelve years. She responded with an email that said she realized that, and the reason was she was overweight.

 

So... that's me.

 

I don't know about these other ladies.

 

I do know that some OW don't mind having a parallel relationship.

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Well, I can only speak for myself. There were emails of him telling her he was tired of living in a sexless marriage, that it had been twelve years. She responded with an email that said she realized that, and the reason was she was overweight.

 

So... that's me.

 

I don't know about these other ladies.

 

I do know that some OW don't mind having a parallel relationship.

 

It is a moot point if the married AP has sex or not at home.

 

The important thing is that "sexless" is used as an excuse to promote the EMR and this perception becomes reality for whomever needs it.

 

I personally would never stay in a sexless marriage and the last thing I would do is tell others I am sexless. I consider that to be personal private information.

 

Many MOWs told me they rarely had sex, but I suspected it was the typical call card "I am available".

 

 

But, ultimately, affairs happen for a set of complex reasons and reducing it to sex is not important.

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I agree with Pierre.

 

It is the calling card to discern who remains available and interested and who goes YUCK! TMI BUD.

 

AS does the cold, loveless, distant, frigid partner convos, draped in innuendo and sad, faraway stares into the horizon.

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You do not know for a fact that their marriage was sexless. I think you are confused as to the meaning of the phrase "know for a fact".

 

You only know what MM and others have told you. Even if BS told you herself it was sexless, you still dont know for a fact whether it was or not. Maybe BS lies or exaggerates or forgets or is in denial. Maybe she doesnt. Point is, you dont know either way. You only know what you were told, or what you read. That is not knowing for a fact.

 

Unless you were in their bedroom 24-7, or filiming it, for months at a time, you do not know for a fact.

 

 

By this standard, nobody can trust anyone. EVER. If they go to the bathroom, they could have someone hiding in the shower to have relations with. If they go to work, they could have someone there. Watch your husbands ladies. Maybe we could all make our significant other wear a camera 24/7 so we could watch their every MOVE.

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You do not know for a fact that their marriage was sexless. I think you are confused as to the meaning of the phrase "know for a fact".

 

You only know what MM and others have told you. Even if BS told you herself it was sexless, you still dont know for a fact whether it was or not. Maybe BS lies or exaggerates or forgets or is in denial. Maybe she doesnt. Point is, you dont know either way. You only know what you were told, or what you read. That is not knowing for a fact.

 

Unless you were in their bedroom 24-7, or filiming it, for months at a time, you do not know for a fact.

 

 

I get what MJ is saying.

 

What is the motivating for bs or ap telling you there is or isn't sex?

 

Ap - lets you know hes available

Bs - even if it's a lie and they tell you they ARE having sex, without a video camera all you have is ap denial. The seed of doubt is planted.

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Huh? That is quite a jump from what I said to what you said above (using hyperbole as a means of defense perhaps?)

 

Look, people can trust whomever they want to trust. My point is, there is very little that is "known for a fact". Even you having seen emails where she acknowledged a "sexless marrkage" doesnt mean for a fact they never had sex. A man might consider 2-3 x a year as "sexless". Different people define things differently.

 

I am sure your MM and his wife rarely (if ever) sex. However, my point is, you dont and never will know for a fact. Unless you were there, which you weren't.

 

That doesnt imply you cant trust him. Im just pointing out that technically no one knows of the MM/BS sex life except those two, no matter what you hear or read.

 

Yeah... what you're really doing is trying to let everyone know who has had their partner tell them they are/were in a sexless marriage that it COULD be a lie. So, it's not that big of a jump... anything anyone says to you ever COULD be a lie. It's sort of like saying "I could have stepped in gum. There's no gum on my shoe, I didn't stick to the sidewalk, but I don't know for a fact that I didn't"... it's kind of silly, really.

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By this standard, nobody can trust anyone. EVER. If they go to the bathroom, they could have someone hiding in the shower to have relations with. If they go to work, they could have someone there. Watch your husbands ladies. Maybe we could all make our significant other wear a camera 24/7 so we could watch their every MOVE.

 

 

 

It is no big deal! In my book I could care less and to be honest this issue of sex or no sex at home is meaningless. Many men that have sex at home have affairs and others that are in celibacy do not have affairs.

 

Furthermore, if I was a single OW I would not want to see myself as the pinch hitter to provide sex to a sexless marriage. One would think the relationship is much more complex than that.

 

The ultimate reason or excuse to cheat is complex and includes the desire to be validated. The desire to find happiness.

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It is no big deal! In my book I could care less and to be honest this issue of sex or no sex at home is meaningless. Many men that have sex at home have affairs and others that are in celibacy do not have affairs.

 

Furthermore, if I was a single OW I would not want to see myself as the pinch hitter to provide sex to a sexless marriage. One would think the relationship is much more complex than that.

 

The ultimate reason or excuse to cheat is complex and includes the desire to be validated. The desire to find happiness.

 

Lol. I don't have a problem with my R. I was just making a point. All good.

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Lol. I don't have a problem with my R. I was just making a point. All good.

 

Your guy left the wife. Marriages end all the time. I am not even sure why you have to defend your position. Not to worry.:cool:

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HopingAgain
Your guy left the wife. Marriages end all the time. I am not even sure why you have to defend your position. Not to worry.:cool:

 

I wonder about the constant need to defend her relationship too. It does strike me as odd since all is supposedly well.

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It is no big deal! In my book I could care less and to be honest this issue of sex or no sex at home is meaningless. Many men that have sex at home have affairs and others that are in celibacy do not have affairs.

Furthermore, if I was a single OW I would not want to see myself as the pinch hitter to provide sex to a sexless marriage. One would think the relationship is much more complex than that.

The ultimate reason or excuse to cheat is complex and includes the desire to be validated. The desire to find happiness.

 

Ditto...I would be insulted if you came at me saying you had a sexless marriage *puppy dog eyes*, I love you, can we have sex instead? :(:laugh:

 

I don't buy that majority of MM are in sexless marriages; however, does it happen? I'm sure.

 

But my rule would be to take it with a grain of salt...

 

In my own situation he didn't talk about their sex life, except once when I was upset about something (long story), then he told me that they always used condoms. Up until that point though, where it was confirmed, I assumed they had sex, because they were in a relationship and he said nothing to the contrary...

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thefooloftheyear

I think its more common than a lot of you are leading on to....There is a misconception among women that men will just bang anything with a vagina..Its simply NOT the case...And he could easily be tearing the hell out of you, but hadnt touched his wife in years...

 

Your results may vary...

 

TFY

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Your guy left the wife. Marriages end all the time. I am not even sure why you have to defend your position. Not to worry.:cool:

 

Actually, I'm not defending my R. However, Pierre, I'm sure you've noticed no matter what I say people say rude things to me. I was simply making a point. It wasn't personal. It was general. Yes, I'll use my situation as an example, but the only time I defend is when people attack...

 

Hoping, you can wonder all you like. All is well in my world.

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HopingAgain
I think its more common than a lot of you are leading on to....There is a misconception among women that men will just bang anything with a vagina..Its simply NOT the case...And he could easily be tearing the hell out of you, but hadnt touched his wife in years...

 

Your results may vary...

 

TFY

 

If you read over on the infidelity board, I'd estimate at least 95% of the BSs there were having sex with WS during the affair.

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HopingAgain
Hoping, you can wonder all you like. All is well in my world.

 

Great! If you like it, I love it! I just wonder why you take generalized statements on here so personally as if its about your relationship when nothing could be further from the truth according to you.

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Can you imagine? A man not having sex at home and wanting to get it from you instead.

 

Ive been OW, more than once, and lied to as well - but this imagery just takes the cake!! It was definitely said to me as part of the whole MM intro process: My wife is like a roommate, I am a knight in shiningg armor, she will kill the children if left unsupervised. But no, I didnt believe it. And they admitted it wasnt true .

 

Im positive there are plenty of sexless marriages. If I were married right now - it might be one of them.

 

A reason for cheating or not? Sure, as good as anything else if youre looking for one.

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Can you imagine? A man not having sex at home and wanting to get it from you instead.

 

Ive been OW, more than once, and lied to as well - but this imagery just takes the cake!! It was definitely said to me as part of the whole MM intro process: My wife is like a roommate, I am a knight in shiningg armor, she will kill the children if left unsupervised. But no, I didnt believe it. And they admitted it wasnt true .

 

Im positive there are plenty of sexless marriages. If I were married right now - it might be one of them.

 

A reason for cheating or not? Sure, as good as anything else if youre looking for one.

 

Exactly!

 

 

The sexless thing is calling card. If it is true or not is a moot point.

 

Great Avatar!

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Can you imagine? A man not having sex at home and wanting to get it from you instead.

 

Ive been OW, more than once, and lied to as well - but this imagery just takes the cake!! It was definitely said to me as part of the whole MM intro process: My wife is like a roommate, I am a knight in shiningg armor, she will kill the children if left unsupervised. But no, I didnt believe it. And they admitted it wasnt true .

 

Im positive there are plenty of sexless marriages. If I were married right now - it might be one of them.

 

A reason for cheating or not? Sure, as good as anything else if youre looking for one.

 

I don't believe in excusing cheating. Making excuses. I do believe there are sometimes factors that play into why it occurs. But it is not an excuse. Thing is... this is a moral issue. Some think it's wrong, some don't. That is the crux of it, is it not?

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thefooloftheyear
If you read over on the infidelity board, I'd estimate at least 95% of the BSs there were having sex with WS during the affair.

 

 

I dunno...Id bet a lot of it was "guilt" or "cover my ass" sex...

 

Id tell you my own story, but whats the point...You wont beieve it anyway...

 

I know at least two of my friends havent fcked their wives in at least 10 years..Why would they lie to me.?

 

TFY

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HopingAgain
I dunno...Id bet a lot of it was "guilt" or "cover my ass" sex...

 

Id tell you my own story, but whats the point...You wont beieve it anyway...

 

I know at least two of my friends havent fcked their wives in at least 10 years..Why would they lie to me.?

 

TFY

 

You'd be surprised at what I'd believe, try me! lol Maybe some of it was guilt and cover my ass sex, but its probably every bit as likely or more likely that it was just married sex life business as usual.

 

Are your 2 married friends also having affairs?

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I don't believe in excusing cheating. Making excuses. I do believe there are sometimes factors that play into why it occurs. But it is not an excuse. Thing is... this is a moral issue. Some think it's wrong, some don't. That is the crux of it, is it not?

 

And morality is always relative.

 

Acts have no intrinsic morality.

 

What decides if an act is moral or not?

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bentleychic

Oh, I was talking about all of my girl friend's that are in sexless marriage and totally forgot my guy friend who has been in a sexless marriage for 20+ years, but believes that you do not stray, period. Never had an affair of any sort. Sexless marriage, but totally against affairs and is mad that MM is "taking advantage of me" (to which I say, he couldn't if I wasn't willing, but nevertheless!).

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thefooloftheyear
You'd be surprised at what I'd believe, try me! lol Maybe some of it was guilt and cover my ass sex, but its probably every bit as likely or more likely that it was just married sex life business as usual.

 

Are your 2 married friends also having affairs?

 

Heck, from what I hear(and I have been around a while), most people that are married for a looong time(20plus yrs) even the "happily" married ones are having sex pretty much "once in a blue moon" or not at all..

 

As for the guys I know, they are having their needs met I do know that, but I doubt they are in affairs-its not their M-O..

 

Trust me, if I told you my story-you probably wouldnt believe it.I dont care what you have heard....:laugh:

 

Again, most of what I read on here is NOT the norm...Or I am one boring son of a bittch..

 

TFY

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