They are poison

[Mnogomnogo]

It's all a lie. They are poison and we are the wretched whose pain and passion led us to suck ourselves into an opium den of lies and deception and fantasy. Like the Stockholm syndrome we need our captors for the little bit of joy they let us in, but even then isn't it more about them? When they're gone for a month you know it, deep inside even if you don't admit to anyone, they are poison and our minds and spirits contain this poison now, and we are all poisoned

[fanine]

It's all a lie. They are poison and we are the wretched whose pain and passion led us to suck ourselves into an opium den of lies and deception and fantasy. Like the Stockholm syndrome we need our captors for the little bit of joy they let us in, but even then isn't it more about them? When they're gone for a month you know it, deep inside even if you don't admit to anyone, they are poison and our minds and spirits contain this poison now, and we are all poisoned

 

I feel for you. I understand. The only thing I try and tell myself is, I know underneath my MM is deeply unhappy. The times he has rung me late in the night, drunk, in the depths of despair. I used to feel sympathy for him. Not any more. His life is of his own making. He will never find real happiness in his life. He is not capable of it. A lifetime of failed relationships, kids in other countries (things I only found out down the line). He was responsible for that - he is responsible for his own actions. He will go to his grave feeling depressed and sorry for himself...and blaming everyone else for the fact his life is always a disaster.

 

I know however that I can have a beautiful life. I am capable of that. I can have a real and loving relationship with someone - I can be content to be myself. I do not harm people. I can look in the mirror and know I am good. I don't lie and deceive people. He can do none of that.

 

I feel like **** now because of him, but one day this will all be over. I can work on my low self esteem as I am aware of it.

 

You can have all this too.

[ladydesigner]

I feel for you. I know underneath my MM is deeply unhappy. The times he has rung me late in the night, drunk, in the depths of despair. I used to feel sympathy for him. Not any more. His life is of his own making. He will never find real happiness in his life. He is not capable of it. A lifetime of failed relationships, kids in other countries (things I only found out down the line). He was responsible for that - he is responsible for his own actions. He will go to his grave feeling depressed and sorry for himself...and blaming everyone else for the fact his life is always a disaster.

 

Wow you described my WH perfectly, and I'm sure most MM as well. Most A's happen because of issues the WS has. I know it takes two in a M, which I've owned my part for the demise, but my WH has yet to completely peel the onion away.

 

(((Mnogomnogo))) I totally agree. I loved how you so creatively described my own A.