Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I said "and one important expression of love" so maybe before you get sarcastic you wish to learn the basics of reading comprehension. I do indeed place a huge importance on sex. Your prerogative. The only thing it would achieve is that he would cum in 2 minutes. If you need abstinence to improve your sex life perhaps you want to consider whether you are with the right person sexually. Stopping doing something that's not very good isn't usually the way to improve it. I would be almost concerned if it did. And I am the one who needs to work on comprehension? I take it you could never handle an LDR huh? Maybe you shouldn't participate in threads that go way over your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 And I am the one who needs to work on comprehension? I take it you could never handle an LDR huh? Maybe you shouldn't participate in threads that go way over your head. I would choose to be someone who wanted to be with me too yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I would choose to be someone who wanted to be with me too yes. And with that... I will now disregard ANYTHING you have to say. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mint Sauce Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 this really is an interesting thought experiment. I just realized that I'm not yet ready to play this game, because I feel I need to have more sex with her to be fully confident that she is the one for me sexually. I conclude: I shouldn't propose yet, because I'm not ready to stop having sex with her. That sounds like solid reasoning 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Well, I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea per se, but I'm not really seeing the point in it? How would it be useful in any way, barring following a trend or being an 'interesting' experiment? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Dear God no! I have no idea why anyone would do this. We (personally) had a 3 year engagement so that would have been horrible. Sex was one of the first things we did together, so no, I cannot see either of us refraining for any longer than a week. We enjoy sex and had enjoyed it for years before getting engaged, then we waited years to get married. I respect people who wait until marriage, but I find it odd to (all of a sudden) practice celibacy because he put a ring on your finger, when you probably had sex last night. I just cannot understand this behaviour. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 The point? To intensify the sensation of sex on our wedding night. It is simple really. I am not talking years of waiting btw! It's similar to being away from each other, and the feeling when finally re-united [if anyone has been away from their SO for a extended amount of time]. If anyone has experienced that before [which I have, many times], they would understand the heightened sensations one feels when the body has been deprived, and how special it can be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Hm, if it's heightened sensations you're after, that means you're talking no sexual intimacy whatsoever, not just no intercourse? I've personally found that sensations usually reach their maximal 'height' after a week or so, so anything longer than that is just a waste. If you've been in a LDR where you go months not seeing each other, you'll realize that the very first time you start up again after several months can be, in actual fact, slightly clunky. You'll both need a little time to get used to each other again and to get back to how you were when you left off. I well understand the emotional rush of being reunited, but unless you plan on totally not seeing your SO between engagement and marriage , not sure how that applies to this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 Hm, if it's heightened sensations you're after, that means you're talking no sexual intimacy whatsoever, not just no intercourse? I've personally found that sensations usually reach their maximal 'height' after a week or so, so anything longer than that is just a waste. If you've been in a LDR where you go months not seeing each other, you'll realize that the very first time you start up again after several months can be, in actual fact, slightly clunky. You'll both need a little time to get used to each other again and to get back to how you were when you left off. I well understand the emotional rush of being reunited, but unless you plan on totally not seeing your SO between engagement and marriage , not sure how that applies to this. Thats the thing though, I HAVE gone months without seeing someone. Even though I am using the act of seeing them as the example, it was the sex that was always super intense too. The crave was stronger, and HIS crave was crazy insane... it just was different than when we did it almost every day. Which is exactly why I think the awesome time to do it would be before our wedding night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 If he disagrees about this being a good idea are you going to attack him like you did with me? I don't think I could marry some one who reacted the way you have to people not agreeing with you. If I really wanted to do it? Yep. Then again, I wouldn't be marrying him if he was one who WOULD say no. He and I love having sex, but we don't hold it in such high regard. Sex is the icing on the cake for flavor, not the icing to hold the cake together. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 If he disagrees about this being a good idea are you going to attack him like you did with me? I don't think I could marry some one who reacted the way you have to people not agreeing with you. Don't be too hard on her, she is going through a difficult time in her relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 Don't be too hard on her, she is going through a difficult time in her relationship. How sweet of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I don't treat sex like a game but to each there own. Where is the fun in THAT? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 You got engaged? When did this happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 How sweet of you. I know this is a difficult time for you Jaclynrae and it can't be nice. I certainly don't wish this sort of relationship insecurity on anyone. People usually try to help you, I can't imagine losing your rag adds to the conversation when something you don't like is being said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 You got engaged? When did this happen? OMG no. No engagement here! That won't be happening anytime soon, at the earliest a year from now when he is done with France. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I know this is a difficult time for you Jaclynrae and it can't be nice. I certainly don't wish this sort of relationship insecurity on anyone. People usually try to help you, I can't imagine losing your rag adds to the conversation when something you don't like is being said. WTH are you talking about? It isn't what's being said, it's more about the person saying it. Relationship insecurity? Are you out of your mind? I am pretty sure being able to go weeks without sex would be showing the opposite of relationship insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 WTH are you talking about? It isn't what's being said, it's more about the person saying it. Relationship insecurity? Are you out of your mind? I am pretty sure being able to go weeks without sex would be showing the opposite of relationship insecurity. ok, good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I am saying after doing it a ton. Just for fun holding off on doing it again until your wedding night. Trust me, I wouldn't either if we hadnt had a ton of sex. Er. No!! It was stressful leading up to the wedding, we needed that tension-buster. And sex is a loving thing to do, the one night beforehand when I was in the hotel was enough of a break for me! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I figure it could be a fun way to make that day even MORE special. Not to mention give him a little something to make all the planning and boring stuff worth it... A lot of couples don't even get to shag on their wedding day anyway, even with good intentions. Party runs over, tired, drunk, stuff happens, etc etc. My guy wanted to not drink all day so as to be in tip-top condition for the night-time. Told him not to waste his time, biggest party we'd ever throw and I wanted us both eating, drinking and dancing the night away. So we did! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Lots of couples do this from what I've heard but it's never usually started from the moment of engagement as American engaments tend to run very long. Mostly it's anywhere from 1-3 months that couples wait. Sometimes it doesn't even start intentionally, one of my friends didn't have sex with her husband a little over four months before the wedding. Their schedules had become hectic what with the wedding planning on her end and the working extra hours on his to bank both cash for their honeymoon and additional time off. It's was only about 2 months in she realized they hadn't had sex in some time and decided to make it an official "thing". I think it's a great idea and if I ever get engaged again it'll definitely be something I'd like to try. I was with someone for 8 years and we thought it was odd if we went 2 weeks. I couldn't 'not notice' for 2 months. Especially if I was marrying the man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I definitely can see myself allowing the anticipation to be built up for the honeymoon, as a cool way to make things interesting. For me, the fact it WAS a honeymoon, and we were so buoyed by everything, and things had been so busy and we felt so very much in love, we really didn't need to have abstained. It was enough in itself, if you see what I mean. (you can tell I'm newly wed, lol) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 As much as I appreciate most of the replies, the question is if I should, it is if you have. Ultimately, my man and I really, honest to god, do not use sex as a stress reliever. Also, due to his sobriety, if we ever get married, we won't be drinking. The heightened sensation would be an awesome way for both of us to make that night memorable. I would totally do it, I am curious if anyone else has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I can go the rest of my life with out sex and live as a monk on top of some mountain talking to animals that can't understand me. My point is holding off on sex right before the marriage sounds like a bad idea to me. One of the good reasons to get married is sex and if you're holding off the weeks, months or what ever before you might add stress that is unneeded. I know you want to do this to be romantic I just don't see it that way. Maybe he will. I did this once and it ruined everything. Now you know. So it went from sounding like a bad idea, and possibly adding stress, to it ACTUALLY being a bad idea and causing stress because you did it once? Liar liar pants on fire. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 No sex? I can't go a full day without it let alone months or however long the engagement lasted (mine was over a year). I would seriously go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
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