Dennis Posted February 18, 1999 Share Posted February 18, 1999 Hi There! I have got a big problem. I had/have a crush on a guy, his name is Wybren, for several years now. I told him a year ago through a letter but he didn´t react in any way. But I got a hint that there was an interest in me before. I don´t know if I just scared him by telling him I like him or he just isn´t interested? Like I said I have this thing for him allready for several years now and I can´t get over it. Everytime I meet someone I ask myself if this will replace my love for Wybren. And the answer is allways "no". How do I get over this? I want to end this situation. Does anyone know what to do? Hope to hear from anyone soon! Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted February 18, 1999 Share Posted February 18, 1999 Dennis, I have got a big problem. I had/have a crush on a guy, his name is Wybren, for several years now. I told him a year ago through a letter but he didn´t react in any way. But I got a hint that there was an interest in me before. I don´t know if I just scared him by telling him I like him or he just isn´t interested? First of all, you realize this is a crush. Let's maintain that idea. You're infatuated with Wybren. For whatever reason you're interested in pursing a relationship with him in the future. At the present, you don't have one. Secondly, rejection is always a big fear in professing any deep feelings for another person. It's a fear of saying something that would result in something unpleasant for you, specifically the possibility unreceprocal feelings. You've said that you told him already, after receiving a hint that he may have had an interest in you. That was a year ago, and you still haven't heard a response. Generally, when people have feelings for each other, they tend to follow up rather quickly (i.e. less than a year's time). I wouldn't wait around any longer. You've gotten your answer. Whether he's scared off by your profession, or he's not interested is irrelevent. It's time to move on. Like I said I have this thing for him allready for several years now and I can´t get over it. Everytime I meet someone I ask myself if this will replace my love for Wybren. And the answer is allways "no". You are not in "love" with Wybren. You are infatuated. See above. Love occurs over time through a relationship. You never got to that point. It's more of an obsession now. How do I get over this? I want to end this situation. Does anyone know what to do? Hope to hear from anyone soon! Dennis Well, the first step to getting over with it is dealing with the idea that, at this moment, Wybren isn't an option. You're not trying to replace someone. Take him off of the pedistal you've placed him on. No one can ever live up to expectations you've created, including Wybren. If you're going to constantly be comparing others to this idealized mental image you've created, you're going to find out the obvious -- it's not the same, and you'll be disappointed. Every person is different. Every person is an individual. And you need to realize that. The only person who can end this "situation" is you. You've got to start by working on you. And most likely, taking in all of the aspects of this situation, there are probably some areas of your life that could use a little more attention. I'd recommend seeing a professional psychologist in your area. It would appear from the nature of this posting that this is affecting you in unhealthly ways. Start on you. The rest will follow. Best wishes! LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts