Limited contact rules?

[Wambo]

Exactly what are they?

 

Right now I'm so peeved off I want to go back into NC and have nothing more to do with her.

 

The whole point of coming out of NC and going into LC because we used to be friends before she transformed it into an EA. We also worked in the same building so it seemed sensible to have some basic communications going on between us.

This week she had shown signs there is a growing bond between us and wants to establish a stronger friendship. However things quickly fell apart as she claiming it was me who was talking to her and our shift patterns prohibited us from talking to each other. The previous day she was claiming I should talk to her today and today all I got was a pack of lies.

 

I have no doubt in my mind she is using another co worker as an emotional affair. The total disregard for our friendship is one sign and she is hanging out with another co worker is another. She used to be happy to see me and always wanted to chat. Now she couldn't give a damn about me.

[hippetyhop]

Don't do it.

 

We did LC before I ended the A due to his wife's suspicions. It was worse than NC. It was on his terms even more. Couldn't text, couldn't call during the day (became suspicious of my no.), he'd text me before he'd call so I know it was him, if he didn't text me and he'd call, I would have to act surprised just in case it was her.

 

The anxiety of hearing from him less and less drove me insane.

 

Not worth it. Just go NC.

[MissBee]

LC in my opinion, is on a need-to basis, that is, should only be done in the context where you work with your affair partner thus MUST speak with them at some point. However, there is no other reason besides need-to, why someone should implement LC vs. NC.

 

You guys cannot go on to just being friends. Once you cross that boundary it is difficult, near impossible to uncross and just go back to friends. You are still invested in her and her life and who she's doing and LC is keeping you stuck. Please implement full NC and only speak to her on a need-to basis re your work and none at all if you don't have to.

[whereamigoing]

LC in my opinion, is on a need-to basis, that is, should only be done in the context where you work with your affair partner thus MUST speak with them at some point. However, there is no other reason besides need-to, why someone should implement LC vs. NC.

 

You guys cannot go on to just being friends. Once you cross that boundary it is difficult, near impossible to uncross and just go back to friends. You are still invested in her and her life and who she's doing and LC is keeping you stuck. Please implement full NC and only speak to her on a need-to basis re your work and none at all if you don't have to.

 

I respectfully disagree to some extent there are no exceptions to the no LC rule. I happen to be one but it works well in my situation. However, it doesn't sound like this situation can survive LC and NC is best. Too much game playing and blame shifting going on here. Just my thoughts based on limited knowledge of the situation.

[fanine]

I am NC at the moment, but I can guess that it will be LC at some point. We share many mutual friends, and also we do have some practical things to clear up.

 

I really do not want to sort this at the moment as last time we were in contact he was being a bit of a ****. So I have gone NC but also heard nothing from him. At some point these things have to be sorted, but I need some space and I can keep clear of mutual friends for a little bit.

[Wambo]

I respectfully disagree to some extent there are no exceptions to the no LC rule. I happen to be one but it works well in my situation. However, it doesn't sound like this situation can survive LC and NC is best. Too much game playing and blame shifting going on here. Just my thoughts based on limited knowledge of the situation.

 

 

Thank you for your opinion. Look like I'm back to polite NC.