Midnight_Princess Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Hi all. My first thread here. This is not at all personal to me, just curious. Though I do know people in this situation. Im wondering how you would feel about dating, or if you would date a man/woman with two or more kids from different people. I guess theres many reasons as to why theres different parents (married twice, one while young then got married, two one night stands etc) so use your own examples if the reason for why effects your answer For the people that do have two or more kids with different partners, have you found people to be accepting or not? Has it had any effect on your love life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I haven't encountered that yet, but I guess it would depend on the situation. If he had been married or in LTRs before and had kids that way, that's one thing. Indiscriminately sleeping around? Ick, I'll pass. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I have a no kids rule. Lol. I never dated anyone with children. I would never date a man with children, let alone a man with 2+ kids with 2+ women. I never wanted to be a stepmother. Ever. I want to be a mother and I'm currently trying to conceive so it's not that I don't like children. I don't like the drama that is other people's children. Lol. Funny enough, the kids are great. Its the parents I have a hard time with. I want my husband and I to share our first born. Neither of us have children and I cannot wait to bring baby #1 into the world together. I hate the thought of raising someone else's child. I may be biased in my opinion. I saw my (half) brother get dropped on our doorstep at 13 years old, when his mom didn't want him anymore. Lovely eh? My mother struggled to raise my brother and me. She was stuck raising someone else's child while my father drank his life away. His drinking got worse ten fold when my brother moved in so she had a 4 year old (me,) a 13 year old troubled child who was abandoned by his own mother, and my father who went from a social drinker to a raging alcoholic. If I found myself in a situation like this, I would love those children dearly and respect their mother 1000% but it is something I would avoid at all costs. Growing up seeing a train wreck was enough for me. I don't need to continue the drama. I've rarely seen step parents get along with the parent of the child (and vice versa) so it's just not something I would willingly do 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midnight_Princess Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 For me, it would never happen. Don't want someone else's kids around me. So in your eyes, the problem would be the kids not the woman? Or would it make you think poorly of the woman? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 I wouldn't date someone like that because it's symbolic of individuals with very little future planning capabilities and impulse control issues. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 I'd like to think I could do it, but in reality I have no real experience to base that on. I've dated a couple of guys with kids but never to the extent of being their full time monogamous girlfriend or having any interaction with their kids... it might drive me crazy with jealousy that another woman created a child with him, if I loved him enough to want babies with him myself. There's certainly something appealing about both of you having your first child together. If the guy was otherwise utterly perfect, I'd consider it at 2 kids from 2 mothers... more than that? That's indicative of issues I don't want to involve myself in. I always see mothers with multiple kids and new boyfriends and wonder how on earth they managed to get a partner? Surely multiple children and the hassle of exes around is like, major baggage for a guy? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 I don't jnow about dating but there is a women at work with four kids by three men and she's never been married. Shes 27. She whines all the time that she can't find a husband and that she's stuck dating a lot of different men only once or twice. No one has any respect for her. NO ONE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midnight_Princess Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Just wondering if anyone has any new opinions to add on this topic Link to post Share on other sites
keepontruckin Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Just wondering if anyone has any new opinions to add on this topic One of the redeeming qualities of my soon to be ex wife is that she had no children, and neither do I. I don't want kids, and I especially don't want other peoples kids. I know that sounds harsh, but I'd be lying if I said I did. The kids deserve someone that is willing to mother and father them properly. And trust me, this is hard for me... Many nice women are available for dating, but 90% of them have kids. At my age, this even makes me sadder, knowing that it will be almost impossible to replace my soon to be ex wife with another that has at least the same qualities, and no kids... Link to post Share on other sites
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