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Afraid to trust


Sabrina

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Hi,

 

I am in a relationship that has been going on for about 2 years. In the last 6 months we have broken up and gotten together a number of times. I realize that I am only 20 and I have a lot of time ahead of me. But I feel like I might be at a dead end. I guess things are fine this time around but I am so scared and sure that it wont last long.

 

he is busy and tired with work. And I just dont want to go back to being heartbroken again.. How do I trust him?

 

Does a love come back if its for real or just because he has trouble staying away from me? he says he knows now that I am so important to him. But how can I believe that when I sense that sometime in the future his old behaviors will return......I love him so much and I dont want anybody else ever besides him to care for.. But I absolutely can not let myself get hurt again....

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YOU WRITE: "......I love him so much and I dont want anybody else ever besides him to care for.. But I absolutely can not let myself get hurt again...."

 

Sounds to me like you are in a very awkward position. Unless this guy has changed in a very major way, you will continue to have the same problems you've had. But if you don't ever want anyone besides him to care for, what difference does it make.

 

Now, in my opinion, once you get dumped on by him several thousand times...and you're in your 80's, I think you will probably decide he's not the one for you. You will probably decide you want someone just a bit nicer, more emotionally stable to care for and a relationship that is less hurtful.

 

If you've broken up a number of times in the last six months, you should be scared. You are in a pretty sorry relationship. He doesn't deserve someone who loves him so much and is so dedicated to him. I'm sorry you will have to endure continued pain and heartache but, according to your post, by stating you only want to care for him...you have made your decision.

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Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina,

 

Yes you are young, try and remember that, you have at least another 60 or 70 years in front of you. Pleeeaze don't go down this road with the "I don't want anybody else ever besides him to care for", believe it or not you will care and love another. That's life! There will be another .......... (insert b/f's name here).

 

I have never broken up with someone and gotten back together again but from having seen others do it I know it's doomed. There are good reasons for this: one -remember the reasons you broke up in the first place, two -people do NOT change easily, they really don't, accept him and the relationship as it is or get out. Stop wishfull thinking.

 

If you didn't trust him the first time and that's why you broke it off then you won't be able to trust him now. Trust is a huge factor, you know that. Sounds like you two have got an unhealthy attachment to each other, that's NOT love, at all.

 

Stay = hurt

 

Not wanting to ever care for another = hurt

 

Either way you are doomed.

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