Author Raid Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 Feels so weird contacting her after so long. Last time we actually saw each other was 2-3 years ago and last time we actually spoke on the phone was Feb year before last.. Seems like such a long time... Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Give it a shot. Worse comes to worse, u seem pretty healed and the wondering will be clarified. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 You seem like a really sweet girl Marblex3 I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow. It kind of feels irrational to me in a way.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Thanks Raid! You guys are helping me so much! If you want to wait, do what feels right and wait. You definitely want to make sure you are confident in your decision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 OK well I sent her something light and funny. Cross your fingers for me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 Scratch that- Email bounced.. Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Does that mean it didn't go through? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 Does that mean it didn't go through? Yea didn't go through, maybe shes changed jobs or something. No idea.. Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 It has been a while, that's quite possible. Have you considered trying to text her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Give it a shot. Worse comes to worse, u seem pretty healed and the wondering will be clarified. It has been a while, that's quite possible. Have you considered trying to text her again? Nah not going to do that. If she received it and didn't reply she probably has a boyfriend. That being said I would of expected to to at least say thanks. (as she did every other year) If she didn't get it, either we will run into each other somewhere or it wasn't meant to be. I'm at peace with the whole thing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 Nah not going to do that. If she received it and didn't reply she probably has a boyfriend. That being said I would of expected to to at least say thanks. (as she did every other year) If she didn't get it, either we will run into each other somewhere or it wasn't meant to be. I'm at peace with the whole thing Just like to add, all the anger (and let me tell you I had a hell of alot) is all gone and I mainly have good memories of the times we shared. You will both get to this point in time and you will have non-spurious, genuine feelings wishing them them the best. Something we all have as an advantage is the integrity of the relationship wasn't compromised by someone cheating etc. which in my opinion is the worst possible end to a relationship . Work on making yourselves better and what will be will be Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 Thank you. As a dumpee, I know she probably still has anger, cause the breakup wasn't as love fading over time! It was about she being fed up with my BS. Do you think for her, eventually, the anger will subside and give way to her missing me, if she still loves me of course, and seeing that I am respecting her at last, and maybe contacting me? I mean, she still has our pics on FB and her way of breaking up a 2.5 year relationship was through a 2-line email and ignoring. ****ty ****ty way, but that is why it feels so unfinished... Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I don't feel anger so much anymore, and I have my days where I am still sad, but there are also days when I get hopeful for what is to come. I'm a big ball of confusion lately, lol. If she isn't responding to you, then you are probably better off. And good for you for not being too upset by this! I envy you! Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I am upset and hurt. However, I tend to forgive easily. Life is too short to be resentful, especially if there are feelings. What I did was wrong, but not to be treated like some chump, so I do hurt. I also hurt because she also has her insecurities and I was patient for her and was ALWAYS there, maybe not in the best way sometimes, but I did not abandon her. I was soo honest to her, I am loyal, romantic, no vices, from a good Jewish family, etc. I can guarantee that if I was able to move on, she will regret doing this in this way. Maybe she is jealous of my sister and that would be of course something of a deal breaker if she can't get her emotions under control. If that is the issue, as it has been throughout the second part of our relationship, then that has to be the stupidest reason ever. I mean, I know we need to take some time apart and grow up, even at my 33 and her 28 years old, but just cutting me off like this, like some chump, no answer, nothing, going on a trip to south america for two months and putting pictures of herself looking happy? Yes, I did disrespect her sometimes, but so did she, and here I am, still loyal to her after 4 months, and after she has broken up with me like 4 times already. She has a lot of growing up to do, but even then, now that I think about, I am ANGRY!!! LOL! She is a sweet girl, but this way of handling things is so ****ed up. I think I will just go to her place and confront her in a good way. What other option I have? I need to know if she is really done, done or if she wants some space and I will give it to her. But I can't be 4 months after still thinking what she wants or needs. Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 That said, however, she is a sweet, caring girl, or so I thought. Thing is, because of her insecurity she gave it all to me and when I did not reciprocate the way she was expecting, she closed off somewhat. She even said that she 'put me on a pedestal'. Thing is, I never asked for that. All I wanted was a normal, healthy relationship where no pedestal is to be found. But I do love her, and all would need is 10 minutes to tell her that if she needs some months apart I will go away cause I do love her and need for her to see that. I am also counting on the fact that perhaps she knows she has me wrapped around her finger, cause I have ALWAYS been there, even doing some chasing during breakups. So maybe NOT being there is what will make her really face her abrupt decision. I mean, there is no way she was so jealous of other girls and fearful of me abandoning her, and now she doesn't care!!! It is so unfair and so weird that maybe she needs to know she IS REALLY LOSING ME!!! Its been only 2 months of NC on my end, but I get soo anxious cause I do need to talk to her, but perhaps keeping NC is what will change things somewhat. I know I can forgive all this BS if I can actually talk to her like adults should do. I am not pissed off at her needing time away, I am pissed off as THE WAY she handled things, even if I ****ed up. Its not like I abused her, cheated on her or did not pay attention to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 I don't feel anger so much anymore, and I have my days where I am still sad, but there are also days when I get hopeful for what is to come. I'm a big ball of confusion lately, lol. If she isn't responding to you, then you are probably better off. And good for you for not being too upset by this! I envy you! Don't get me wrong, I miss her like crazy and wish I was with her right now but you have to be realistic it wasn't going to work, we tried our hearts out. Countless arguments over random girls, holidays that went sour because she thought I gave an air hostess 'bedroom eyes', magazines, TV people, mates girlfriends. You name it we fought about it. Enjoy your life and what will be will be. Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 Don't get me wrong, I miss her like crazy and wish I was with her right now but you have to be realistic it wasn't going to work, we tried our hearts out. Countless arguments over random girls, holidays that went sour because she thought I gave an air hostess 'bedroom eyes', magazines, TV people, mates girlfriends. You name it we fought about it. Enjoy your life and what will be will be. The magazine and TV people thing is really pushing it. Seems like your ex was REALLY insecure, like unreal. Sometimes I wish I could get into my ex's mind to feel what she feels. She is not so jealous, but still, it must be hell for them, feeling that anxiety a lot of the time for things that they should not feel anxiety for. Link to post Share on other sites
Marblex3 Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I wasn't that bad, but I genuinely feel if she is seeking help to fix herself, she can. The most important think though is for her to realize that she has a problem. If she doesn't think anything is wrong, even if she says she is getting help, it won't sink in and it won't work. But you are right, what will be, will be. Tomorrow will be a full week since I have been in any type of contact with my ex. I know that seems like so little, but I never thought we would make it this long, lol. Part of me kinda feels empowered, like everything really is going to be alright, either way, and I'm excited to see what's ahead! Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I wasn't that bad, but I genuinely feel if she is seeking help to fix herself, she can. The most important think though is for her to realize that she has a problem. If she doesn't think anything is wrong, even if she says she is getting help, it won't sink in and it won't work. But you are right, what will be, will be. Tomorrow will be a full week since I have been in any type of contact with my ex. I know that seems like so little, but I never thought we would make it this long, lol. Part of me kinda feels empowered, like everything really is going to be alright, either way, and I'm excited to see what's ahead! Good luck to you with that. Hopefully things can start slowly again for you. The problem with my ex is that she thought her insecurity was only to do with her jealousy of other women, and not with the fact that she feels inadequate since I am close to my sister. That was the main concern and she thought it was weird since my sister and I have always support each other and confide in each other for 28 years (well, not quiet, but you get the drift). She never saw herself as priority, but she was. How to change her perspective even if its wrong? I mean, she is convinced, and nothing can change that. Maybe with doing her work she will realize this. Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 So what happened since you sent her a bday text? Did she ever respond? Barky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted August 28, 2013 Author Share Posted August 28, 2013 Nope, still have no idea if she received it or totally ignored it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 Nope, still have no idea if she received it or totally ignored it.. My Birthday today. 10:17am Haven't spoken to her in +6 months. Been broken up for 5 yrs "Morning! Thinking of you this morning, sending many warm birthday wishes All the best, this day and every other!! Happy, Happy Birthday babe xx" Why does she continue to message me 5 years later? Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Although this girl might have had "past relationship issues" somehow you were probably also sparking her jealously. Sometimes men don't even realize it but there are things that they do that make you think that they might cheat. Think about how you used to be with her. Was there anything you were doing that might have made her feel jealous? Did you have a lot of women "friends," are you the type to remain in contact with all old girlfriends, did you compliment her on a regular basis? Think real hard. If you can be honest with yourself about the past...and not blame it all on her and her issues, you might have a chance with her. Obviously, she didn't feel secure with you. Why was that? Could you have been doing something as well to cause these feelings? Once you've thought about all this stuff for a while, give her a call and see if you can meet. Tell her you realize that you might have made her feel jealous from time to time because of x, y and z. If you aren't at the place yet where you can meet her half way, then there is probably no hope. I am sure she probably does have some issues, but I have never heard of a women getting jealous over a magazine cover. There must have been something else going on in your relationship to push her to this extreme behavior. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Raid Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 Although this girl might have had "past relationship issues" somehow you were probably also sparking her jealously. Sometimes men don't even realize it but there are things that they do that make you think that they might cheat. Think about how you used to be with her. Was there anything you were doing that might have made her feel jealous? Did you have a lot of women "friends," are you the type to remain in contact with all old girlfriends, did you compliment her on a regular basis? Think real hard. If you can be honest with yourself about the past...and not blame it all on her and her issues, you might have a chance with her. Obviously, she didn't feel secure with you. Why was that? Could you have been doing something as well to cause these feelings? Once you've thought about all this stuff for a while, give her a call and see if you can meet. Tell her you realize that you might have made her feel jealous from time to time because of x, y and z. If you aren't at the place yet where you can meet her half way, then there is probably no hope. I am sure she probably does have some issues, but I have never heard of a women getting jealous over a magazine cover. There must have been something else going on in your relationship to push her to this extreme behavior. Think about it. Great post. In no way do i blame her for what happened. I believe i am 50% to blame and and I'm SURE I did things to make her feel insecure. So do i reply or not ? Link to post Share on other sites
Gemini x Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Great post. In no way do i blame her for what happened. I believe i am 50% to blame and and I'm SURE I did things to make her feel insecure. So do i reply or not ? After sitting here and reading all 5 pages (lol) yes you should reply. This might be the chance you were looking for back in August. Oh, and Happy Birthday!! Link to post Share on other sites
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