A night i can't get out of me head

[tcd421]

Back in april 2013 i had an an encounter with a woman i dated while she was doing through her first divorce in june of 2008, we in the months prior had been talking on face book till one night she was fighting bad with her current husband asked me come see her, she needed someone to talk too. I drive the 30 miles to pick her up and went to a semi private place to talk. We did talk for a while about what was going on our lives, i was single at the time and things just started feeling like they did in 2008, I had not seen her in over 4 years at that time.

 

To cut to the chase somethings happened that night she had no regrets about the following day though sex was not involved. For a few weeks after was trying out where to go from there when her husband found out what happened and at that point i cut off contact been over 2 months since i spoke to her, probably a good thing since i am back in a relationship now. I should just move on but my mind will not let me.

[Praying4Peace]

Hi there,

 

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position. Did I read correctly that you reunited with this old flame, about to be single, in April and you were single but now you're in a relationship and can't get her out of your head?

 

Why did you get into the new relationship?

[JustAReformedGirl]

I'm of the same mind as P4P; while I can well imagine the emotional withdrawal you're enduring, I am curious as to why you entered a relationship after? Had you convinced yourself you were over her? Or were you hoping a new girlfriend would aid that?

 

I'm guessing that didn't work. All you can do is try to let her go. Focus on the woman you have in your life now. Do you love her? Do you see a future with her?

 

If not, you would probably do well to break up with her; not to pursue the old flame, but to sort out your feelings. After all, you don't want to drag her through all of this, if your heart isn't in the relationship you share.

[Pierre]

Back in april 2013 i had an an encounter with a woman i dated while she was doing through her first divorce in june of 2008, we in the months prior had been talking on face book till one night she was fighting bad with her current husband asked me come see her, she needed someone to talk too. I drive the 30 miles to pick her up and went to a semi private place to talk. We did talk for a while about what was going on our lives, i was single at the time and things just started feeling like they did in 2008, I had not seen her in over 4 years at that time.

 

To cut to the chase somethings happened that night she had no regrets about the following day though sex was not involved. For a few weeks after was trying out where to go from there when her husband found out what happened and at that point i cut off contact been over 2 months since i spoke to her, probably a good thing since i am back in a relationship now. I should just move on but my mind will not let me.

 

 

Why do so many women and sometimes men get into relationships when they are still thinking about someone else? That is very unfair the the other prson in the relationship.

[jlola]

Back in april 2013 i had an an encounter with a woman i dated while she was doing through her first divorce in june of 2008, we in the months prior had been talking on face book till one night she was fighting bad with her current husband asked me come see her, she needed someone to talk too. I drive the 30 miles to pick her up and went to a semi private place to talk. We did talk for a while about what was going on our lives, i was single at the time and things just started feeling like they did in 2008, I had not seen her in over 4 years at that time.

 

To cut to the chase somethings happened that night she had no regrets about the following day though sex was not involved. For a few weeks after was trying out where to go from there when her husband found out what happened and at that point i cut off contact been over 2 months since i spoke to her, probably a good thing since i am back in a relationship now. I should just move on but my mind will not let me.

 

 

Let me get this straight. Woman has her first divorce in 2008 and you were dating as she was going "through" her divorce. After the divorce did you two date? Why did you break up?

 

Now the woman is married again and again it is not going well. So she calls you and you drive to see her. Something happened and now you cannot get her out of your head.

 

Few things ,first off. You seem to enjoy rescuing this damsel in distress. You also seem to want what you cannot have. the reason you are so stuck on her is not because she is some great soulmate. But because of time constraint and because she is not yours full time. familiarity breeds comtempt

 

Now for her. It seems she cannot be alone. marriage number 2 is going down the drain already. You can be husband #3. But understand, she is probably the sort of woman who has unrealistic expectations in marriage. She expects the chemical highs of being in love to last .

 

Please read the "Stages of love" to understand you are in the infatuation stage and looking at her in an unrealistic way. You would see her true colors if you put yourself in the shoes of the men she betrays.

 

Also, please do not believe a word she says about these men being horrible or abusive or not romantic or whatever. The guy she is with now heard it all before she married him and fell for it. Playing "Knight in shinning armor " will destroy your life.

[LimeBlue]

Why do so many women and sometimes men get into relationships when they are still thinking about someone else? That is very unfair the the other prson in the relationship.

 

Does this hold true for someone who is widowed and misses their partner more than ever, yet is trying to maintain another relationship with someone new (he hides everything about his late wife from his girlfriend).

[Pierre]

Does this hold true for someone who is widowed and misses their partner more than ever, yet is trying to maintain another relationship with someone new (he hides everything about his late wife from his girlfriend).

 

 

Hmm, lets see.

 

WOuld you like to date a person that is in love with a dead spouse? That is probably even worse. What kind of person willingly dates someone who is in love with someone else (whether alive or dead). What is the point?

 

Why date someone that is emotionally unavailable? Why do emotionally unavailable people hide this fact and date unsuspecting people?

 

Is this part of the single AP mindset? Dating the unavailable?

[LimeBlue]

Hmm, lets see.

 

WOuld you like to date a person that is in love with a dead spouse? That is probably even worse. What kind of person willingly dates someone who is in love with someone else (whether alive or dead). What is the point?

 

Why date someone that is emotionally unavailable? Why do emotionally unavailable people hide this fact and date unsuspecting people?

 

Is this part of the single AP mindset? Dating the unavailable?

 

No I wouldn't like to date someone who is in love with their dead spouse. I fully understand him grieving her loss but he is still missing her like mad. I feel sorry for his girlfriend because she does not know how he misses his wife. In fact he hides everything from her about his wife so how is she to even know? He is very emotionally unavailable and often cannot face the truth of his thoughts and actions - again he hides this well from his girlfriend. As for single AP mindset, I don't think so because affairs are often based on emotions so they are looking for connection and not emotional unavailability.