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my gf can't reach orgasm


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hey guys,

 

im having problems getting my girl to orgasm. she lost her virginity to me and shes never had an orgasm. ive tried everything i know - oral, fingering, and sex. ive tried rubbing her clit while i have sex, or rubbing/licking it while i perform oral. at first it feels really good to her but then she will like, pull away and contract and all the momentum will be killed.

 

this is really becoming an issue - more for me than for her because i really want her to experience one. i don't really feel inadequate because im trying my best. we have sex for sometimes over an hour and she never has one. she'll get really wet if i have sex with her really slowly, with long slow strokes but she never seems to have one. sex is really intense for her i can tell and i ask her what feels the best and do what she says but it just never works out.

 

we've had sex a total of about 30 times

 

any advice? im really lost here...

 

thanks

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She may not be comfortable allowing you to do something that she has only done with herself in private. Ask her to get herself off in front of you...it may make her less nervous about the whole thing. Orgasms can be highly personal......

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Use a vibrator on her.

 

No kidding.

 

I used to be in the very same situation and my bf had this absolutely brilliant idea, to use a vibrator on my clitoris.

After I managed to have an orgasm this way-him using a vibrator on me- the weird kind of 'block' I had in my mind that prevented me from having an orgasm in front of him went away and I started to have an orgasm(or more than one) every time he gave me oral sex.

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tell her not to concentrate so hard on having an orgasm. sometimes when you really think hard about it, it never comes. (no pun intended). if she tries to focus on the passion and the love you have for each other while youre making love to her may be one will pop out.

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I ve this problem since i lost my virginity 5yrs ago i have never had an orgasim with a man before. Bt i will tell u this make sure u LISTEN to what she likes and spend time with her on foreplay it just might be that penetration is not what will make cum... Trust me if i had all the men i have been with LISTEN to me and not presume that i am like other women that they have been with i would have had one by now :eek::eek:

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Originally posted by realone

hello first time post here. dude don't worry about it. a great vast majority of women can't orgasm often or at all before their 30's.

 

This sounds like utter complete B.S. Please cite a source for this.

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you've admitted that this is more "your" problem than hers so give it a rest. People don't go from losing their virginity to being an expert in bed all in a few days/weeks/months. If you dwell on this and bring it up every time you have sex, you're going to screw her up psychologically where she feels very pressured to have an orgasm, and she'll feel like a failure to you and as a woman because she's not YET learned to have one..and she'll carry that around with her for the rest of her life....and then there's a chance she'll never be able to relax enough or have enough confidence to let herself go. Concern yourself with your own performance and nevermind about hers. She'll do things when she's ready to but if you make her feel like it's a marathon and that you won't stop sex until she does, all she'll feel is embarassed and pressured and like she's a bad girlfriend. She likely still has to learn about her body on her own. Give her a break and get over yourself.

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hmmm i always orgasm with my bf but ive noticed that when things have been tense between us i cant...

 

I had my first orgasm when i was really happy, for our 1 year anniversary

 

so i thinkits all emotional....

 

Make sure shes comfty, first take her out, do something nice for her, then dont just go right into sex, but tell her u love her, make her physically and emotionally feel good!

 

Also i cant orgasm when my boy does me, it takes me to sit on him, to reach it, so sit on the floor and tell her to sit on u and ride u....this should work, and while she rides u make sure ure caressing her back and dont mention orgasm, it should just happen, the more pressure u put into it,. the worse i think

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If she has never orgasmed before, then the sensations building up to it may be overwhelming to her. Patience. Don't get so into some weird competition with yourself and rub her clit raw, and try using lube when you play with her that way. The slipperness works wonders.

 

It may just take time.

 

Also, just pouding brainlessly away is not likely to get her off the first time. Focus on the seduction and relaxation. Keep your little soldier in uniform and focus on her completely.

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