How do I....

[Quandary]

I really like this guy and I am not 100% sure if he likes me in the same way I like him.

 

I have never had a communication complex but I for some reason get all twisted and make a fool out of my self whenever we talk.

 

I really want to tell him how I feel, but I don't want to scare him off not do I want to put him in an awkward position. I called him yesterday and we talked for a little bit then I got all flustered and decided to end the phone call. He told me to call him back later in the day.

 

I waitied numerous hours so I did not come off as eager or lifeless and I got the machine, I left a message for him to call me back. (I am not sure if got the message because he lives with with his brother who is not that smart). As of today he has not called me. (Also he may be out of town).

 

How should I go about telling him how I feel?

[Stargazer]

Are you from Oz? Just wondering.

 

What sort of a friendship have you got, or have you just met and spent a bit of time together?

 

Anyway there are always clues around as to how a guy feels "in that way", see if you've noticed anything. I'd play it cool for now if you don't really know him that well, if you've just met and it feels you are just getting to know him and him you, then relax. If it's meant to be it will. If it's a long standing frienship then you should have some idea. Don't know what to advise here because you've left the above details out, or is it me, did I miss something?

 

Him not returning your phone call as yet doesn't really mean much, give him a few days leeway here, if he hasn't called by tomorrow, give him a quick call then. It doesn't not mean he doesn't like you, it could mean anything but that. He's busy, he's outta town, he didn't get the message. Don't get all panicky and insecure inside just yet.

[Quandary]

We were friends a while back but he left town. He recently returned we spent some time together and then we ended up kissing. It was a very nice kiss. He kissed me first (we were both drinking tho). He is still in college so did not have much time for me with finals and all, but he did call me.

 

 

 

Then I saw him again and we hung out and watched a movie. We ended up kissing again, but I think I initiated it this time.

 

 

 

It turns out that we are both going to the same city for New Years, but with different people. (The trip is not planned together; it was just a coincidence) However he did not ask to meet up with me to party. However he did ask me where I would be staying, I told him that we were just going for New Years eve and stay up all night then drive back. He mentioned that he was going with some of his friends and would be staying with a girl they know that goes to college out there. (I don't think he would have told me that if there was something between them, he seems honest). Anyway, I don't know when he is going out of town or if he has already left.

 

 

 

Did I answer all your questions?

[Quandary]

3 more things.

 

1,I got him a Christmas prestent which is why I had called him, to let him know I would like to get it to him. He seemed very appreciative and thanked me then he said that we would work something out in getting it to him. Then before we hung up he told me to call him later in the day and that maybe we could see each other.

 

2. When I called the first time I woke him up, I told him I was very sorry and he said don't worry about it he said he took the phone to bed with him incase someone needed to wake him up. I asked him if he wanted to go back to bed, and he said no he'll go back to sleep later.

 

3. The last thing is he did not just throw out there that he was staying at some girls place. I had asked where he was staying since he had asked me. (I don't even think he knows her, I think its a friend of a friend type thing)But then again I could be wrong. (I am not worried about that aspect of it, I just wanted to clarify the girls house so noone got the wrong idea)

[Stargazer]

I don't think this guy would be kissing you if he didn't 'like' you. No need to say anything to him about how you feel just yet, play it cool. Hang out with him, get to know him and him you. He didn't ask you to join him New Years Eve because he's made firm plans already with a number of people and so have you. Don't take that personally.

 

It's still early stages. He's attracted to you. Relax with your feelings a bit, be yourself, don't think about him so much, I know that's much easier said than done but try. Let things take their own course.

[Quandary]

Thank you. I think it's that time of the month and my insecurities start to unnecessarily bear their ugly teeth. My next questions to you would be, should I call him again? Or just wait until after New Years? I don't want to be the one who calls all the time. I know I have ruined things in the past by calling too much and I don't want to ruin this because I am eager to talk to him.

 

I also got some unconfirmed info from his step mom (who is a really good friend of mine). She told me that she was not sure if he was looking for a relationship But that came up in casual conversation, I did not tell her anything about us(I figured if he wanted his family to know he would tell them when he is ready). She often talks to me about the home and the kids. I am 3 years older than he is if that means anything to my situation.

 

Anyway the comment from his step mom kind of threw me through a loop.

 

I like your advice which is why I keep posting.

[Quandary]

So I called him again today. I asked him what he was up to and mentioned that he needed to motivate himself to leave the house. I feel the same since i am on vacation. He mentioned that he would be in my area so I told him to stop by.

 

He and a friend came over. No kiss or anything but we spent time talking. He had to run and do sometings but said he would call me tonight.

 

Anyway, crossing my fingers taht he does in fact call me and that we hang out. He is leaving town for the weekend tomorrow. Mentioned that maybe we will bump into eachother, and joking told me that if I were to strip down that I had to climb up a light post so that everyone could see me.

 

Anyway, I will keep you posted.

[Stargazer]

Well this all sounds promising my dear!

 

I think you need to stop analysing everything quite so much, you'll do your own head in! Please try and stop second guessing every little thing he says and does because eventually he'll do something or say something which will have nothing whatsoever to do with you but you'll perceive it as a sign that he doesn't like you or something, when in fact it wont have anything to do with you. If you look for something long and hard enough, you'll find it! Your own insecurity will stuff things up. Focus on what's there rather than what's missing or absent. Focus on the positive rather than letting your fears get the better of you.

 

I'm glad you called him, see he didn't think anything of it, did he, just a friendly phone call! He likes you! Let things progress naturally!

 

Do keep us posted. Stay calm and centred on what you have to offer here. And I'm glad you started posting here at this stage of the two of you. It's a good way to settle these fears of yours.

 

Happy New Year Sweetie :-)

[Quandry]

Thank you for your reply. So last I left you with he said that he will call me tonight and maybe we can party.

 

I gave him his Christams present and it was just a tad too small so he took it to return it. (I did not tell him where I got it nor did I give him a receipt). He demended that he return it because I had already gone through all the trouble of getting it for him. So tonight figuring he would have called me I ran out to the mall and bought a bigger size which is now on my bed waiting ofr him.

 

It is 11:30 my time and no phone call. I did tell him earlier that if he and his friends wanted to come over and party I had tons of beer. He left me believing that we would hook up tonight, but no sign yet. Maybe the party starts later???

 

Oh well, he is out of town tomorrow. Wish me luck and hope he either calls or shows up soon??? I have already started drinking and don't know how much longer I can keep my eyes open.

 

Thanks again for your great advice. Do you have an e-mail address I can chat with youat???

[Stargazer]

Yup, email me at <e-mail address removed>, I'll give you my ICQ number then if you want.

 

For now, go back and read my last post, print the damn thing! Please TRY and stop worrying so much, he'll pick up on your insecurities and you'll end up with something you don't want. Clinginess is NOT attractive to guys at all, it is to guys who just want a screw but not for anything serious. Guys like it when you have a life of your own and aren't SO focused on what they're doing/thinking.

 

He's a bit of a prat for not calling, I think this is the second time he's said he would call and hasn't right? Don't go off the deep end just yet.......it could mean ANYTHING, he's probably just busy getting his act together to leave town, please don't stress, try and relax a bit, for your own sake!

 

You say: "I did tell him earlier that if he and his friends

 

wanted to come over and party I had tons of beer. He left me believing that we would hook up tonight". Why did he leave you believing you'd hook up? Did he actually SAY that or are you reading into things here?

 

Relax, go paint your toe nails, go out for a walk, go catch up with a girlfriend, do SOMETHING to get your mind of what he's doing or thinking, you'll drive yourself MAD!

[Quandry]

He did not call last night. You are most likely right about getting ready for his trip.

 

Anyway I guess I will just let nature take it's course. Like you said, if it's meant to be the it will be! But I am done chasing, I am going out of town and I am going to party!!!!!! One thing I am not looking for is soemone who I have to constantly call and initiate plans with. So if he comes around then life will be great! If not then I will have to make someone else happy.

 

I will keep you posted.

[Stargazer]

Morning *yawn*

 

You still didn't tell me why you thought you'd hook up the other nite? What did he say exactly to make you think that? Or were you reading into things?

 

I know you feel you have been doing all the chasing but try not to feel bitter and sour just yet. You don't know anything about anything with this guy, do you? Could be a million reasons he didn't call, not to excuse his actions, if he said he was gonna call, clearly, then he should have.

 

You are getting the right attitude here, let him come looking for you for once. And if he doesn't then it's his loss, not yours. Go party your little head off girl, just remember to kiss every guy you can get your lips on tonight, any excuse! (But I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, Miss Atoids Girl ROFL)

[Quandry]

Well it's about midnight here. Heading off to bed, have a HUGE day tomorrow driving.

 

The reason why I was under the impression that he was going to call is becaue I said hey call me when you are done doing all you errands, I want to get silly drunk tonight. Then I offered to write down my number and he recited it to me. (He mentioned that he did not have it until I left it on his answering machine)!!! So he did get my message.

 

Anyway I have a few packages of altoids 8o) and don't plan on letting them go to waste. (even if it's just for kissing)

 

However my boy told me that if I planned on getting naked to be sure I climb up a light post... so being the monkey I am I'll be waving to the world from up on my light post!!! HA see how he deals with that one. (joke)

 

Ya snooze ya loose right? I will keep you posted. Talk to you next year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!1