Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 So i have had 3 dates with a really amazing guy, we kissed on the first and third and made out a lot on the second. I really like him, but after the second date I think i came on way too strong and scared him off a little. It took him longer to reply to my messages. On the second date he also talked to me a lot and kept hinting to hanging out in the future and coming over his house and stuff. SO he came on pretty strong, but I may have misread things. Anyways he is now kind of distant with me after I kept texting him and asking him to hang out. How can I fix things, I apologized for coming on too strong and explained I just had a really good time and felt bad for coming off the wrong way, but he hasn;t gotten back yet Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 So i have had 3 dates with a really amazing guy, we kissed on the first and third and made out a lot on the second. I really like him, but after the second date I think i came on way too strong and scared him off a little. It took him longer to reply to my messages. On the second date he also talked to me a lot and kept hinting to hanging out in the future and coming over his house and stuff. SO he came on pretty strong, but I may have misread things. Anyways he is now kind of distant with me after I kept texting him and asking him to hang out. How can I fix things, I apologized for coming on too strong and explained I just had a really good time and felt bad for coming off the wrong way, but he hasn;t gotten back yet either he got bored of you, or hes playing, he might have other girls too, just talk to him about it that doesnt hurt, i doubt you came on too strong, or maybe hes trying to get to know you better. This is what kinda happened to me because ive met a girl 3 months ago, hit it off real good, pretty much acted like a couple since the first time we met, and everythhing was great, but then all of a sudden i guess i came on too strong and she said i was talking about buying her a watch and moving out with her, and were moving too fast, so she wanted space, which i can respect, but its barely been a couple days and now she tells me she can't lie, she hella misses me, what do i say ? because right now i cant even text her back cause if i do the more ill want,think,miss her. what do you think would be a good idea from a girls perspective ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 hmm we are kind of in the same position! I mean this guy and I got along so well, on the second date we literally acted like a couple. I mean was it wrong for me after the 3rd date to ask him how he felt? I explained i wasn't talking about being in something more serious than hanging out but wanted to know what he was thinking.I also apologized for coming on too strong and that I just was really excited after our second date. I mean he kept kissing me and trying to hold my hand and hugging me- maybe I took it the wrong way? Anyways, it must be sooo relieving to hear she misses you. Maybe take it a little slower, but at least you seem to have gotten her back:) ask her out or something and just hang out like you used to:) No pressure type situation, just have fun with her and enjoy the time you are having together:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 You didn't do anything wrong, the guy just isn't that into you...that's why he wouldn't get back to you, if he is, he will. There's nothing to fix, you can't go back in time...second date talk is just good time fantasy, you're likely still young and so is he, you'll say things you don't mean just because they felt good/right in the moment...that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
John316C Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 first thought that struck me was maybe hes playing a game with you trying to raise your buying temperature Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Stop contacting him. Let him contact you. Stop apologizing to him! Play it cooler and don't be so available to him. If you keep texting or calling him, you'll only scare him off further. Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 hmm we are kind of in the same position! I mean this guy and I got along so well, on the second date we literally acted like a couple. I mean was it wrong for me after the 3rd date to ask him how he felt? I explained i wasn't talking about being in something more serious than hanging out but wanted to know what he was thinking.I also apologized for coming on too strong and that I just was really excited after our second date. I mean he kept kissing me and trying to hold my hand and hugging me- maybe I took it the wrong way? Anyways, it must be sooo relieving to hear she misses you. Maybe take it a little slower, but at least you seem to have gotten her back:) ask her out or something and just hang out like you used to:) No pressure type situation, just have fun with her and enjoy the time you are having together:) Inless he's a player I mean kissing and holding your hand sounds to me like he likes you just don't rush it, go with the flow. I mean 3rd date is kinda quick I engage, just go out alot more and hangout and see where that goes. It's does feel relieving that she said she missed me and I asked her why she did, and she have me a list of why, but she told me she wanted space so I texted her back just that I had really really been thinking about her because of some places she wanted me to take her and she just said yeah hopefully and since then I didn't know what to text back and now I'm just seeing if she really does like me she'll contact me right ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 Yeah maybe just give her some space! You have made it clear you are interested in her and it sounds like she is too but in a weird position. Maybe in a week just invite her out to a movie or something fun! Don't really contact her for a few days and give her her time shell come around! He responded to my message saying that he has been thinking about y question but doesn't really know how to answer it. I explained I didn't mean to be asking him into anything more serious than just hangin out and apologized for coming on strong I was just excited especially after the second date! Hopefully everything works out. He seemed really Ito me after the second date and nothing was weird between us on the third but he just seems so distant when I text Jim. Was it wrong after the third date to ask him where his head was after how well the dates went? After he asked me about past boyfriends and talked to me about coming over when his parents were home and hangin out in the future?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 If he asked you about coming over when his parents were home, I'm pretty sure that's a positive sign. Maybe just give him time, pretend your good without him let him text you, I mean you kinda rushed it cause it was the third date but if he likes you he likes you it shouldn't matter. How old are you all ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 I'm 18 and he is 20. We go to the same college and have very similar interests. This was what I considered I be my first serious dates and I explained that to him and that I was kind of awkward with this stuff so I apologized. I'm just not very experienced with this stuff and I am afraid I scared off the first guy I truly liked and seemed to be into me for the right reasons Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Well if you did scare him off like you think, learn from your mistakes, go on more dates be more comfortable, don't rush things, just let it happen Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 Absolutely! I definitely will. I will give him some space. He is such a nice guy so hopefully he will understand. I definitely won't text him for a while just let him do his thing and hopefully we can work things out! If he liked me as much as it seems do you think he would understand or at least want to give me a second chance? I am just annoyed with myself Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 If he likes you he'll hit you up,because he's thinking about you, if you scared him away well I well move on there'll be someone better and makes you just as happy if not happier Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 thanks hope everything works out for you! I guess i will let you know what happens!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 thanks hope everything works out for you! I guess i will let you know what happens!! hope everything works out for you too let me know how it goes. I have aquestion since i been trying no contact with this girl, she texted me goodnight lastnight, does that mean im sitll on her mind/she still might like me ? I didn't text back because she said she needed her space. is this the right thing to do ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 If she texted you goodnight you are DEFINITELY on her mind. Don't respond and wait a day or two and ask her to hang out! So do you think it was the right thing to do to apologize to him, from a man's perspective? I said that I didn't mean to come on too strong and that I was just having fun hanging out and hoped I didn;t make things weird....i sent it a day ago and he hasn't responded...do you think he is just thinking things through? He is super nice so i really don't think he is the type of guy who would never respond and completely ignore me. From a guy's perspective how would you respond to this message/what would be going through your mind? If he doesn;t respond in a week (worse case scenario) should I text him asking how he is doing and if he wouldn't mind talking? After our three dates and the way he acted so affectionately on the second date I feel like he would at least owe me a talk?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I'd say it's not a bad thing you apologized, he probably thinks your just over thinking the whole situation, sit back, relax, see if he texts back, he should have already texted you back I mean it was an apology kinda makes me wonder if he was going for the same thing you were going for. If he doesn't text or call you in. A week that's a bad sign I guess you could try calling him and talking it over if it helps you. Ok so ill just wait and let her text me and hopefully we can make plans and hangout soon but I'm giving her space and no contact! Thanks for letting me know that if she said goodnight too me I'm on her mind! That made me feel better cause I can't stop thinking about her and the more I try not to the worst it gets! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 hmm yeah i mean i apologized it doesnt take much to text me back. He is a good guy and i genuinely believe he wasnt using me, so i will just give it time. What would you have done if a girl came on too strong and then apologized, wouldyou give her a second chance? I can't imagine he would totally forget about how well things went the first three times we hung out... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 also he keeps putting up songs lyrics on twitter (much more than usual, he usually never does this) and the other day from an artist that I told him how i really liked and then he put up a song about not being able to get you out of his head, maybe im just looking into this or could he be thinking about me? I guess you overanalyze when your falling for someone he told me the other day he was thinking about my question but didn;t know how to answer it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 i was thinking that maybe instead of asking her to hang out, in a day or two just simply ask her how she is doing Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I mean if he likes you he shoulda already answered I don't see what's taking too long inless he's scared of what you were talking about. It depends if I really liked you moving too fast wouldn't bother me cause I would just go along with it I guess. But if he's tweeting song lyrics from an artist you told him you liked he's for sure thinking or missing you. You think I should text her though? She told me she needed space so therefore I'm trying my hardest to stay away from contacting her cause really we were both blowing up each others phones and acting like a couple for 3 months I got attached to her but I'm respecting her decision about her needing space and to focus on her. She said she misses me twice since then and said goodnight last , night, so really I'm just tryna give her the space she wanted but really my feelings for her are crazy strong and I just want her to realize in the best fit for her and it was the greatest 3 months if my life since I met and starting talking to her and I hope she feels the same she just needs space and she's finishing school in November. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 i would say just wait a few days and just simply ask how she is doing instead of asking her out if you are worried about scaring her off. Just let her know you hope she is doing well, just so she knows you aren't ignoring her. But if you are afraid of coming off too strong again just keep the conversation simple and go with the flow...i feel lke you have learned from your mistakes and will be able to make rational decisions while ttalking to her from now on... my question is why would he haave come on so strong with me when we hung out but then ignore me? I think he thought i was wasking him to be in arelationship with me, but i was simply asking what he was thinking about how we were hanging out...i then apologized for coming off the wrong way and said i hoped i hadn;t made things weird and i shouldn't have been so pushy just that i hadn't had a relationshp in high school and was kind of awkward with that stuff. I just wish he would simply respond to my apology or talk to me, he is a nice guy so i don;t think he would just never talk again to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Even though she said she needs her space I should text her in a few days and asked her how she's doing and she won't be mad ?! I'm not saying he came on too strong I'm saying if he likes you like you think I don't see why it's taking him so long to text back inless he's over analyzing what you apologized for or he's just busy but I doubt that, but who knows. Don't rush it just let him respond because if you keep hitting him up he might not like that and that could be a turnoff Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 wait sorry haha how many times has she texted you in the last few days? Just once? Did you text her first when she said goodnight?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mads3131 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 yeah i definitely won;t hit him up for a while and see what happens, you understand it is hard when that person is all your thinking about and im worried i ruined something good Link to post Share on other sites
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