We'll see what happens

[Buttercup]

Hi... I posted another message on Wed. called "Will he choose me or her?" Well, we talked and I decided to finally express to him some true feelings of frustration. He had told me prior to this conversation that "women are always in control of relationships." So I took that and said that I was going to test him on it. I told him exactly what I needed from him. I said that it wasn't easy to wait for him to decide... and I had already mentioned that I would not stick around to pursue a friendship with him if there were no intentions of being together. I said that in order to have a good quality relationship that I would like to see him more often. He immediately agreed to that. We also started discussing things on a more erotic level... It has been about a month since we were last together... I told him that the conversation was easier than I had thought it would be because he is so easy to talk to. He ended our conversation with, "If it is ever otherwise, let me know..." So until our encounter this weekend (not sure what we're doing yet), we'll see. I feel overall like has strong feelings for me. Anyone, let me know what you think. I do trust Chris.

[Stargazer]

I thought you had already expressed to him "some true feelings of frustration" the first time about this situation! Women are NOT always in control of relationships, the person who cares less tends to control the situation, they are not as invested emotionally as the other, they don't have as much to lose.

 

You told him - "it wasn't easy to wait for him to decide"

 

but you are going to aren't you?! I mean that issue hasn't been sorted out at all, has it?! You're just back to where you were before, right?

 

Did he tell you there and then that he's no longer weighing up who his better option will be? Did he tell you there and then that he no longer has to 'think' about this other girl? Did he tell you there and then that he only wants to be with you and that he's committed to a relationship with you? Did he tell you there and then that he's made his 'decision'?

 

Or did you just start talking about sex and forget about that little issue? He's still weighing up his options, who to choose, right? Don't be so stupid here to jump straight back in the cot with him because he agreed 'to spend more time with you', as you asked, get a straight answer if he's made a decision and then let him prove it to you first before having sex again.

 

As things stand now it looks like he's agreed to what you asked for only to let you think you've got some control here. If nothing was mentioned about his 'decision' then nothing has changed, he's still deciding internally about who's right for him. He'll take what he can get if you let him, he knows you still want him. Don't be foolish enough to sleep with him thinking that will help him 'decide', having sex with someone in the hope that 'he'll see his ways' is stoopid, really, really stoopid. He gets some nookie and then goes back to thinking about who he should 'choose'.

 

Yup you 'feel overall he has stong feelings' for you but so what, he's still deciding, right? All you achieved here was him getting what he wanted without having to decided anything whatsoever. You showed him eh?!