How did you get back together?

[berkeley1987]

so like at 3am yesterday i was super high and texted my ex. i told her i apologized for things i did. she didn't respond for 15 hours and told me "i appreciate your attempt to apologize but...." she went on to argue about something completely different. it's a whole long story but to simplify it, she's mad about me putting my instagram on public because she doesn't want her work to find out about her personal life. i took it off private for a couple of hours and she found out somehow. for someone who want to completely remove me from her life, why is she still stalking me?? i didn't want to argue about stupid instagram. i wanted to apologize and back up my apology... should i text her again to get back on that topic??

[JDPT]

I would highly suggest to not self medicate with drugs or alcohol. The consumption will only lead you to inadvertently make irrational decisions. Additionally, stay away, at least for now from any social media apparatus. Breaking NC happens to all of us, I've done it and I'm sure there will be many more who will, however, we need to learn from it and know that it is in our best interest to remain NC. I would suggest at this point to let things be, don't respond to her text message, she is clearly not at a point where she can have a civil conversation, I'm not insinuating that in the future you will but rather focus on yourself and your recovery.

[berkeley1987]

have casual sex with someone else, then see how you feel.

 

It's not a question of how much you love her.

 

She doesn't care.

If she really cared about you and your feelings, you might still be together.

She may KNOW how you feel - but she knows how she feels too.

And it's nothing that will be sufficient to warrant her U-Turn.

 

 

 

she told me she still hella cares for me.

[TaraMaiden]

Well good for her.

Way to keep you on the back-burner as a second option!

 

Happy with that?

 

Cool.

Then stay there all you like, but she cares for you the way she'd care for a long-held family pet.

 

She CARES for you.

 

Doesn't mean - in any way - she LOVES you, or wants you back.

 

"I care for you" = "here, have more breadcrumbs."

[mutant]

Taking alcohol or any drug will most likely impair your judgement. Never contact your ex when "high" you will most likely regret it regardless of the response you will get.

[reddragon588]

for someone who want to completely remove me from her life, why is she still stalking me??

 

Just because she wants to move on does not mean she can automatically remove the feelings and history she has with you. She can want to move on while still missing you.

 

i wanted to apologize and back up my apology... should i text her again to get back on that topic??

 

No. Just let it be. Clearly breaking NC didn't work for you this time, don't expect for it to work next time.

[berkeley1987]

i'm now at the point of giving up my fight to win my ex gf back. i still love her and its so hard to let go. i've done no contact, deleted all her pictures but i can't get my mind off her. since she broke up with me i've become more depressed and nothing can ease this pain. i'm even going on vacation to help me heal but i'm not even excited about going. i just wish i could erase her from my mind like eternal sunshine...

[oberon84]

It's a process that takes time. You'll have ups and downs along the way. New experiences will happen and the memories of old ones will gradually fade, as to will your feelings for your ex.

 

I'm not sure you can ever deal with your feelings and let go all in an instant. You have to keep moving forward and ride it out.

[jesse93]

Well, what I've learned from this site, is don't do NC for a chance to win her back, do NC for you, and only you. You need time to heal, these thoughts will be in your mind but eventually the thoughts will ease, give it time. Vacation should be amazing for you, while you're there don't dwell on your ex and have fun with yourself even if having "fun" isn't something you can do because your so heart broken, make yourself get up and have some fun I promise it will get your mind off her for the time being it will almost "pause" that pain for that moment, I go to the gym and in that hour I'm perfectly fine, I'm happy and I couldn't have a care in the world.

 

The pain starts when you don't distract yourself when you sit at home all day wondering why she won't text you, what she is doing, if she still loves you it causes nothing but more pain, it makes you want to reach out even more, it makes you want something back that probably is never going to come back. So do yourself a favor and have the most fun you can on this vacation, enjoy yourself laugh smile and just have fun. Eventually you will realize you don't need your ex to be happy.

[LostOne1]

I agree with the rest.

 

NC just allows you to slowly get rid of the attachement you have and it gets you to allow yourself to be okay with you being alone.

 

I think for me 1 years worth of NC has given me MORE love for my own self. I respect and value myself much more now with NC. It's given me time to realize I can live without my ex and in fact I don't feel anything for her now. I don't hate her or love her. I've kinda accepted now that someone else is out there for me some where. Now I got to back into the journey of hoping one day my new girl crashed into me and sparks fly.

 

Till then I live my own life and enjoy the time I have with me! I don't need anyone else to make me feel valued or good. I'm happy and good the way I am and so will you be too