Is it still bad to slap a bf once in a while?

[FnlyFrei]

Domestic Violence. You can go to jail for hitting someone, throwing an object in their direction, or punching a hole in the wall...even for breaking things...you do not have to even TOUCH them. It doesn't matter if you are male OR female. It isn't cute or funny. I knew someone who was arrested for throwing a pitcher of kool-aide on her boyfriend.

Before you jump into another relationship, perhaps you should look into taking some anger management classes. Or pop off and end up in a jail cell. It's up to you. I hope you make better choices.

[BamaBelle07]

Bama, you'll be fine. I raised my DD23 to believe that boys are for 'trying on' in high school, since you will most likely not last as bf/gf for more than a few months to a year, as you both are changing, maturing, growing. So just have fun. You aren't likely going to fall in love, not really, at your age. You may be infatuated with someone, or with the concept of being in love, but what matters most in your life at this point is focusing on school and your future. NEVER put a guy ahead of that future, not until you've finished college and started your career. You have plenty of time ahead of you to meet other guys.

Thank you. I will remember this. Maybe since that's the only guy I've ever been with I missed him a lot. I've actually thought about enrolling in accounting major. I like the idea of handling a business and important transactions. Only got 1 more year to graduate and I'll be still 17 by then.

[nais]

You will quit soon enough- its not worth your life to be violent. You are a teen but you must learn how to be an adult. You handle your anger with words- be mindful not abusive words- it may take practice, but if this is the reaction some people give you then you owe it to yourself to find better

[samsungxoxo]

I've never got physical with a woman, nor have I had a woman get physical with me but I'll tell what I've told my exes when this came up in the beginning of our relationship; I'll NEVER get physical in any way and if YOU do, I still won't hit you but you won't be able to hit me anymore and it WILL be painful (think joint manipulation). If you come at me with a knife, gun or baseball bat, I'll beat the **** out of you. I've had enough violence from a very early age, I'll be damned if I'm going to let my SO kill or cripple me.

 

Now, your BF sounds like a real sweetheart to be putting up with your schtick. But beware, if you date a cat like me...it won't go so well. AND you'll be kicked to the curb in VERY short order.

No where does the OP mentions about punching nor coming at her bf with a knife nor weapons. She said slapping him and nothing else. I would assume that while it was indeed wrong what she did, she wasn't placing him in a life-death situation, no where compare to the circumstances you've mentioned.

 

You're a creep to be honest if you think every single woman is some huge one-eyed monster that's trying to kill you; that you have to give warnings from the very beginning. I wouldn't even have that discussion with a man I've just met or started dating. The least thing I would be talking about is ''what if'' situations. No wonder they are your exes.

Edited February 26, 2014 by samsungxoxo

[stillafool]

No where does the OP mentions about punching nor coming at her bf with a knife nor weapons. She said slapping him and nothing else. I would assume that while it was indeed wrong what she did, she wasn't placing him in a life-death situation, no where compare to the circumstances you've mentioned.

 

You're a creep to be honest if you think every single woman is some huge one-eyed monster that's trying to kill you; that you have to give warnings from the very beginning. I wouldn't even have that discussion with a man I've just met or started dating. The least thing I would be talking about is ''what if'' situations. No wonder they are your exes.

 

You are correct but the OP needs to learn at this early age that there are men like HornyLilDevil out there. The bf she hit was a sweetheart to let her get away with it; but the next time she raises her hand to a male she may get what HLD described or arrested. It's best not to hit if you don't want to be hit.

[gaius]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. The right boyfriend for you would respond with some kind of physical force that didn't hurt you but let you knew who was boss. He just wasn't the right boyfriend.

Edited February 26, 2014 by gaius

[Hornylildevil]

You are correct but the OP needs to learn at this early age that there are men like HornyLilDevil out there. The bf she hit was a sweetheart to let her get away with it; but the next time she raises her hand to a male she may get what HLD described or arrested. It's best not to hit if you don't want to be hit.

 

THANK YOU! That was my point. I have NEVER hit a woman in my life, punk-ass cowards like Eminem hit women. And btw, Sxoxo, the reason the discussion came up is because those women brought it, as I think women should and have a right to. Oh, sure, I got in some fights (yelling, etc.) but neither me nor my exes even THOUGHT about resorting to violence. I grew up with that ****, princess, in fact, when I was 16, my mothers BF at the time thought it would be a good idea to drag my mother out of bed by her hair. I thought it was a better idea to break his punk knee with HIS baseball bat. My father was also an abusive POS, which is why he's a lonely old man now. How DARE you presume to know me! If the tables were turned and the OP were the one slapped, you tell her (rightfully) to RUN, not walk away from that bastard. If she is willing to slap now, how do you KNOW she won't take a lamp to her BF's head later? Well? Again, pull your head out!

[Hornylildevil]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. The right boyfriend for you would respond with some kind of physical force that didn't hurt you but let you knew who was boss. He just wasn't the right boyfriend.

 

And thank you, too! Boy, this really has me steamed! If I had a crazy GF that slapped, NO, I wouldn't hit, I WOULDN'T even slap her back, she would find her arm twisted in a such a way (think: Aikido, Jiu Jitsu, etc.) that she wouldn't be able to hit me anymore. I probably wouldn't even press charges but she would most definitely be single again. How DARE you, Sxoxo! And try this on for size; the woman I am seeing now, I am teaching her to shoot to defend herself should her worm ex-BF from almost 20 years ago get out of prison and want to try that BS again, she will be able to defend herself and her children, that is, if I'm not around to F a hole in his head before he got the chance. I must be some kind of an abusive A-hole to do that, right?!

Edited February 26, 2014 by Hornylildevil

[samsungxoxo]

Well, here's some factoids for you; women commit slightly more domestic violence AND they are more prone to use weapons.

While there are certain bad women out there, the violence rate isn't anywhere equivalent to a man commiting it so I have no idea where you're get that we commit slightly more violence overall. I would suggest you to look at the studies closely. There are still more male criminal inmmates than female.

 

Lastly, in my nearly 27 years I haven't seen a woman suddenly going on ''killing mode'' for the hell of it. I've only once in my life heard of a girl that slapped a guy in my HS but nothing else. The only single time I've heard on a news of a woman going on that extreme mode (beyond slapping) was against a ex convict that raped her then 13 year-old daughter and the man was not only free but mocking her about it. There aren't too many female pyschopaths; they only make up 1% of the population.

 

And did I ask for your nasty opinion of me?

Sometimes a poster's sn says it all.

 

Btw, another fact, the police commit TWICE as much DV as the general public but they're are protectors, right?! Pull your head out of your arse...

Generalizing all cops? Unless you're purposely resisting arrest or trying to hit them then I can see why but generally they are doing their job.

[gaius]

And thank you, too! Boy, this really has me steamed! If I had a crazy GF that slapped, NO, I wouldn't hit, I WOULDN'T even slap her back, she would find her arm twisted in a such a way (think: Aikido, Jiu Jitsu, etc.) that she wouldn't be able to hit me anymore. I probably wouldn't even press charges but she would most definitely be single again. How DARE you, Sxoxo! And try this on for size; the woman I am seeing now, I am teaching her to shoot to defend herself should her worm ex-BF from almost 20 years ago get out of prison and want to try that BS again, she will be able to defend herself and her children, that is, if I'm not around to F a hole in his head before he got the chance. I must be some kind of an abusive A-hole to do that, right?!

Well if you're oversensitive to being hit due to abuse during your childhood I get that. I think most women are looking for some kind of reaction from a guy if they strike him or start an argument. One of my ex's just rolled on top of me one time when we were laying in bed and demanded to see if I could get her off (off of me, not off sexually). Which I promptly took care of. It did something for her sexually to be overpowered like that. How she handled it was more mature than Bama but I don't see a major problem with what she did either. The desire was probably the same in both cases.

 

So let's not condemn her too much for seeking out what she want's sexually.

Edited February 27, 2014 by gaius

[Hornylildevil]

Well if you're oversensitive to being hit due to abuse during your childhood I get that. I think most women are looking for some kind of reaction from a guy if they strike him or start an argument. One of my ex's just rolled on top of me one time when we were laying in bed and demanded to see if I could get her off (off of me, not off sexually). Which I promptly took care of. It did something for her sexually to be overpowered like that. How she handled it was more mature than Bama but I don't see a major problem with what she did either. The desire was probably the same in both cases.

 

So let's not condemn her too much for seeking out what she want's sexually.

 

No, gaius, I'M not oversensitive to being hit, I AM oversensitive to women being hit, which my "friend" the 27 year old doesn't seem to get. I have real issues with that s***. I also have issues with men perpetually being perceived as the bogeyman of DV when women are in fact guiltier of it than men! But thank you for your input, I think you get what I've been trying to say. I hope so, anyway.

[samsungxoxo]

Oh, I could go on and on and on. 27 years old, HA! You're barely out of high school so don't lecture me, get off your smarmy duff and do some research that doesn't correlate with your little preconceived notions of women as the ONLY victims of DV.

I never said only women are victims of DV nor think all men are bad. I only mentioned the majority of the female population aren't the vindictive aggressors you're portraiting. I already said there are certain bad, evil women out there. Yes, there are; I know there was an Elizabeth Bathory that tortured and killed over 500 girls and an Andrea Yates that drowned her 5 kids (don't think I don't know certain evil women in history; I do and would have no problems sentencing them the same way if a man committed those crimes if I were the judge) but that's not something you're going to bump into on a daily basis.

 

A normal, sane woman doesn't want to kill you nor even thinks about violence in her mind 24/7.

 

Man-hater? Well that's extreme. I was pointing out the obvious. Overall, most people (of both genders) aren't your sick psychopaths but among those low porcentages of seriously distrubed individuals, there are still more males diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder than females. Perhaps you might want to blame the link according to:

Antisocial personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Specific paragraph is under Epidemiology:

ASPD is seen in 3% to 30% of psychiatric outpatients.[23] The prevalence of the disorder is even higher in selected populations, like prisons, where there is a preponderance of violent offenders.[53] A 2002 literature review of studies on mental disorders in prisoners stated that 47% of male prisoners and 21% of female prisoners had ASPD.[54] Similarly, the prevalence of ASPD is higher among patients in alcohol or other drug (AOD) abuse treatment programs than in the general population (Hare 1983), suggesting a link between ASPD and AOD abuse and dependence.[55]

Edited February 27, 2014 by samsungxoxo

[BamaBelle07]

Now, your BF sounds like a real sweetheart to be putting up with your schtick.

Ex bf since the starting of Jan. He broke it off suddenly and I have actually stopped slapping him for a long while because I truly felt guilty about it. Tried sending a message yesterday through his facebook one last time and got no reply. He's completely ignoring me.

 

I'm moving on and focusing more on school but it doesn't take away that I miss him at times. And I never did anything other than slapped him and once backed him against the wall. I never had any intention of seriously harming him like that so you're overdoing it. I don't need your threat. At the time it was more of an ''I'm upset'' thing. I know it was wrong.

Edited February 27, 2014 by BamaBelle07

[BamaBelle07]

What on earth happen?

It went from me slapping my now ex bf and feeling guilty about it to now hearing about what if I were to use a weapon, baseball bat or gun and links about sick people??

 

Hornylildevil whoever you are, I'm not a psycho. I'm in my Junior year of HS and obviously want to go to college after graduating. I'll be taking a break from dating.

[samsungxoxo]

nevermind...

[John316C]

it is absolutely disrespectful to assault your bf. that is NOT love. when ur kids see this they will think its ok to slap other people. they will no longer respect your husband. and if you train yourself to slap others u may raise your hands to your children, at which point they wont trust you fully and if they feel threatened they may actually hit you.

[John316C]

if someone actually is going to assault you if hes scared u assault him first then run. self defense only.

[Hello_is_it_me]

What does physical violence add to an argument? There is no need for it. It adds nothing. It destroys communication. Please try to restrain yourself in the future.

[dragon_fly_7]

Imagine how the crowd would react if this was a male poster. Notice how rare does a male post stuff like this and if he does, he either has less replies and there is no ounce of sympathy given towards him.

 

Physical abuse really defines no gender and female-on-male is also wrong; it's not cute nor funny as some would like to think. Hope the OP seeks help and learns to settle arguments in other ways that doesn't resort to hitting.

 

The OP's bf broke it off because in the end, no one likes being slapped around, no ones likes getting hit.

Edited March 12, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[Madman81]

I'm new to this forum so I think this must belong to this section. Anyway I'm 16 years old, while my bf just turned 18 a couple days ago but see this is my first relationship.

 

Overall we get along well and it's only once in a blue moon that we get into stupid arguments and I end up slapping him. Thing is I kind of feel bad but then I don't know. He got me upset last time but then everything goes back to normal. Like mention, this isn't something that happens constantly but seldom.

 

I was wondering something. Can I still get in trouble for this if I'm a minor?

 

Can it really be bothering him? It seems like he doesn't take it personal and has gotten used it to, that's things are normal again once the argument is over. But this at times does make me think if he actually thinks about it or just takes it as a whatever, she'll calm down, no big deal thing.

OP, bear in mind that, if you slap him, he's legally justified in doing the same to you in self-defense. Especially since you've evidently slapped him more than once in the past; he'd have a reasonable apprehension of it happening again, and he has a right to defend himself. And I'm guessing you wouldn't like that too much.

 

You're not in trouble yet, so your best bet would be to not slap him again in the future. So he "got you upset"? So what? You have full control over your actions. The next time he "gets you upset", go out of the house for half an hour to clear your head. Or go in another room. Him "getting you upset" doesn't give you the right to hit him.

 

Time to put on your big girl panties and take responsibility for your actions.

[Madman81]

Just saw the part about him breaking up with you. Consider it a lesson learned, and hopefully you'll keep your temper in check from now on in your next relationship.