HiddenUser Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) So I'm a 20 year old college student. The only serious relationship I was ever in lasted for three and a half years before she ended up cheating. I've been very low on self-confidence and self-esteem since then, and I've been a loner ever since. To battle social phobia, I started putting a heavy emphasis on being perfect in my academics. It was the only thing I could do to maintain my sanity. But no matter how much I studied or how much I knew, I felt so empty inside. I'm very proud of my 4.0 GPA (in math! ) but it just wasn't filling that hole I felt inside. To prevent a long thread, I'll cut to the chase. Nearly dying was when I hit rock bottom. I had to make some changes in my life to get what I wanted. Thinking about how poorly I was living my life was too much for me to bear. I started to watch TED talks about anxiety, depression, happiness, setting goals, living a fulfilling life, etc. It's been wonderful to learn so much about myself just by listening to other people. I finally came face to face with the idea that my perfectionism was just a way of protecting myself from feeling so worthless. After learning so much, I decided to change a significant amount of things about myself. I changed my diet, started exercising, started to get more sleep and started tanning. It seems like so much stuff just started to come together for me. I'm starting to gain back a tremendous amount of energy and I'm no longer as tired, lethargic, fatigued or full of despair. Even my anger has decreased dramatically. I went further and started to learn about not caring about what people think, how to talk to girls and how not to care if a situation turns awkward. It's been a very powerful experience and I'm now starting to do things I'd never have thought about doing in a million years! So I went to the store yesterday and decided to put myself to the test. It's one thing to talk the talk, but another to walk the walk. I know that I'm a damn fine person, and I'm not going to let myself or others hold me back anymore! So I walked through the store talking to random people (just for practice!) and when I went to check out, I happened to see a girl working at a different register than the one I was at. I thought she was rather attractive and wanted to try to be bold. I went up to her before I left and said, "Hey, um, I know you're really busy and I don't want to bother you but, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really beautiful." My goodness, you should have seen the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eye. After she said thank you, she just wouldn't stop smiling or looking me in the eye. I think my heart skipped a beat and started to melt! It was amazing! Here I was, finally being the man I wanted to be, despite the nervousness I felt inside. It was absolutely incredible. I probably could have been executed the whole thing better, and to be honest I think she wanted me to talk to her more, but it's the small things that count. I'm seeing tremendous success and it hasn't even been a week yet! I couldn't be happier with my results and I wanted to share it with you all! Don't give up hope. You CAN change! Edited August 3, 2013 by HiddenUser 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I like everything you did except the tanning. Don't tan! It's bad for you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 So I'm a 20 year old college student. The only serious relationship I was ever in lasted for three and a half years before she ended up cheating. I've been very low on self-confidence and self-esteem since then, and I've been a loner ever since. To battle social phobia, I started putting a heavy emphasis on being perfect in my academics. It was the only thing I could do to maintain my sanity. But no matter how much I studied or how much I knew, I felt so empty inside. I'm very proud of my 4.0 GPA (in math! ) but it just wasn't filling that hole I felt inside. To prevent a long thread, I'll cut to the chase. Nearly dying was when I hit rock bottom. I had to make some changes in my life to get what I wanted. Thinking about how poorly I was living my life was too much for me to bear. I started to watch TED talks about anxiety, depression, happiness, setting goals, living a fulfilling life, etc. It's been wonderful to learn so much about myself just by listening to other people. I finally came face to face with the idea that my perfectionism was just a way of protecting myself from feeling so worthless. After learning so much, I decided to change a significant amount of things about myself. I changed my diet, started exercising, started to get more sleep and started tanning. It seems like so much stuff just started to come together for me. I'm starting to gain back a tremendous amount of energy and I'm no longer as tired, lethargic, fatigued or full of despair. Even my anger has decreased dramatically. I went further and started to learn about not caring about what people think, how to talk to girls and how not to care if a situation turns awkward. It's been a very powerful experience and I'm now starting to do things I'd never have thought about doing in a million years! So I went to the store yesterday and decided to put myself to the test. It's one thing to talk the talk, but another to walk the walk. I know that I'm a damn fine person, and I'm not going to let myself or others hold me back anymore! So I walked through the store talking to random people (just for practice!) and when I went to check out, I happened to see a girl working at a different register than the one I was at. I thought she was rather attractive and wanted to try to be bold. I went up to her before I left and said, "Hey, um, I know you're really busy and I don't want to bother you but, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really beautiful." My goodness, you should have seen the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eye. After she said thank you, she just wouldn't stop smiling or looking me in the eye. I think my heart skipped a beat and started to melt! It was amazing! Here I was, finally being the man I wanted to be, despite the nervousness I felt inside. It was absolutely incredible. I probably could have been executed the whole thing better, and to be honest I think she wanted me to talk to her more, but it's the small things that count. I'm seeing tremendous success and it hasn't even been a week yet! I couldn't be happier with my results and I wanted to share it with you all! Don't give up hope. You CAN change! Good on ya mate! You probably made her day too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
steveT95 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 Tan and be a sexy beast! Go you! You have come so far, I am very impressed. Just think what your confidence may have done for that girl's confidence. She may have been having a terrible week and you could have turned it around. Good on yah! This post made me smile 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiddenUser Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 I like everything you did except the tanning. Don't tan! It's bad for you! Haha! I don't take tanning seriously. I've just spent so much time inside the last few years that I've turned a nasty, milky white. So much so that people have mistaken me for being sick. I just want a little extra color. Good on ya mate! You probably made her day too Tan and be a sexy beast! Go you! You have come so far, I am very impressed. Just think what your confidence may have done for that girl's confidence. She may have been having a terrible week and you could have turned it around. Good on yah! This post made me smile Thanks, guys! It means so much to me when I hear this kind of great feedback. I really enjoy building people up in a world that's tearing them down. It makes me feel really good to know I put such a big smile on her face. I can't wait to do the same for others. Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I like everything you did except the tanning. Don't tan! It's bad for you! actually tanning helps with acney... I did it a few times in high school because all the meds and the creams of this world would not get rid of my acne, so i tried tanning and it did the trick... OP good job on all the improvements. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Whatever happened to hanging out outside to get a tan...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiddenUser Posted August 7, 2013 Author Share Posted August 7, 2013 OP good job on all the improvements. Thank you so much! Whatever happened to hanging out outside to get a tan...? Hahaha. When I was a kid I was always hanging around outside. When I turned 14, however, my family and I moved to a pretty rural area and there were no neighbors my age. It was mostly rocks and dirt outside, so I quickly became bored of it and just stayed inside to do other things. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Can you please explain TED to me? It seems like something that could be very valuable but I don't understand it. Is it webinars? Or recorded speeches? Or events? Do you just watch them on the website or go to events or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiddenUser Posted August 8, 2013 Author Share Posted August 8, 2013 Can you please explain TED to me? It seems like something that could be very valuable but I don't understand it. Is it webinars? Or recorded speeches? Or events? Do you just watch them on the website or go to events or something? The concept of TED is to share ideas. Basically, people put together presentations about different topics at live events throughout the year. The presentations are generally recorded and posted on Youtube or the TED Talks website for you to view for free. You can find talks about dealing with anxiety, the uses of calculus, the discoveries of deep sea exploration, what makes happiness, how to ask questions, the power of introverts or really anything you can think of. I've been watching a lot of talks about self-improvement, self-confidence, anxiety, depression, etc. to find out more about myself. I've learned a lot about how I feel and why I make the decisions that I do. By surrounding myself with positive, informative presentations like those given at TED events, I've been able to lift myself out of the darkness I've been hiding in for so long. You can search for videos on TED: Ideas worth spreading or you can view the ones they have on Youtube at TEDTalks - YouTube 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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