Dealing With Low Self-Image

[fiftyofsomethin]

Hey guys,

 

Small background info and then a question.

 

I just seem to have always had a bad self-image. I always seem to look at qualities other guys have such as good muscle-tone and how they dress well and I assume I'm worse than them in some way. I often find myself trying to control how people think of me as a result. I just always assume I am less attractive to girls than I probably am.

 

So I know that this will sound very cocky and self-centered, but many of my friends and friends who happen to be girls as well as girls who are or have been romantic interests have told me that I am very good-looking guy and I am a very open-minded and creative guy. But it's odd because I can't seem to get my subconscious mind to agree with that.

 

 

I know that this seems like a bit of an odd question. Maybe even a bit ambiguous, but hey, I'd just like to hear your thoughts.

 

I'm not looking for a "RATE MY HOTNESS"-style thread, hence the reason I didn't include a picture. I simply want to know how to increase my self-esteem and confidence I suppose.

[white]

Age. That's how you'll increase your self confidence. Grow older. Grow older and cease to give a ****, one single **** in the world, about what anyone else thinks. Should kick in around your late twenties.

 

That happens because your conscious mind finally acknowledges what your subconscious screamed your entire life - everyone that isn't you is full of ****, they don't know you, they don't care about you, and they lie all day every day. It takes a while to gather enough life experience (evidence) to incontrovertibly point to this conclusion.

 

People say confidence is attractive. That gets misinterpreted a lot. It doesn't mean forcing yourself to be an extroverted bull**** artist dickhead is attractive. It means not compromising who you are. Being who and what you are to the full extent, not moderating, modifying or attenuating yourself, not trembling through life apologising. There are no personality police (outside of high school) who will arrive and turn society against you. There is just you and the entire vast world of retarded idiots metaphorically Three Stooging their way through endless panes of glass in the middle of the road or swinging ladders at each others heads. You can swing those ladders and smash that glass just as well as the next person. Probably better.

[ex sex fiend]

sounds familiar

for years I judged my insides vs their outsides.

When I compared how I felt inside and seen how others looked outside,I always fell short.I lost that game every time and it got worst.Finally I learned to look at my actions and soon the inside feelings changed some.I was told if I wanted more self esteem,do esteem able things and soon the inside would change and follow it.I also am very glad I quit comparing myself to others.

[ZX4]

Here's the short version: The way you look, or even your style, is not "Ideal" or "perfect". You dont view yourself as highly as others, because you have set higher standards for your body and personal style.

 

 

You can either change your body, and hit the gym more often, OR change what your vision of "ideal" is.

 

Last year I opted for the former; I decided that I was too young to be out of shape, and fat, and so I went on a diet and started going to the gym. In the last 12 months I've lost 60 pounds, and feel better each day.

 

 

People used to always tell me I was attractive, but until I actually began to see my body transform into something I approved, I couldnt see it.

 

Sometimes fixing a bad self-image is as easy as really taking care of your body.