How do I get her out of my head

[thatstuff99]

First off, I just want to apologize if you feel as though you are reading about the same scenario for the billionth time.

 

Let me also say that the fact that I am going online trying to get advice about this situation means that it's really bothering me, and so I'm going to try to be as descriptive about the whole situation as I possibly can be. It's actually not that complex of an issue, but it's been essentially eating me alive lately, and I feel as though some outside opinions would be greatly appreciated right about now.

 

So I work in retail, a large store with many employees. For the first year or so of my employment there, everything was going great. I had great friends, and enjoyed meeting all the people that I met, whether they were other employees I hadn't previously gotten the chance to meet, or everyday customers that I came in contact with. After about a year, this girl that had been working in another department transferred over to my department. Now, because we were initially in different departments all the time (and these departments being the furthest away from each other) I rarely saw her. Maybe once or twice a month we would walk by each other, but it was no biggie at the time. Sure she's a pretty girl, but that's all I left it at.

 

Fast forward to a few months after she transferred to my department, I've now become friends with her and have gotten to know her a little bit...and I've also realized that this girl has pretty much everything I could ever want in a girl. Literally, she's amazing. The problem, however, is that there have been some other guys that have tried asking her out and being with her, and she's turned all of them down. When I asked the reason for this she told me that at this point in her life, dating and boys isn't really something that she's too concerned with.

 

It sucks really, but I don't want to be a jerk or anything and try to force something that's not there, especially when she said that it's not something she's looking for. I want to respect her wishes.

 

It's really freaking hard though, as I find myself thinking about her pretty much all the time. I'm scared it's turning into an obsession. It's gotten to the point where I'm imagining a future with here, long term stuff. Now, I'm in no way the type to (god forbid) do something crazy over feelings for another, but I know that it's probably not a good thing that I have feelings this strong for her, when she doesn't have the same feelings for me whatsoever.

 

I'm just really confused on what I should do and how I can possibly get rid of these feelings for her.

[WordvAction]

Interact with her as little as possible (only when you need to), and start talking to other girls. How do you even know this girl is everything you've ever wanted? From your time interacting with her at work?

[thatstuff99]

Yeah I mean it's been almost a year now since she transferred to my department, so almost a year now we've been working together. In that time my feelings for her have grown substantially.

 

There were a few things that I left out from my initial post. There was one day when we were working together, and it was just the two of us for a little bit and she very calmly asked me "Is there something you want to tell me?"

 

I didn't really know what she was referring to at the time, and granted it is possible that she could have meant anything by the question, but I can't help but wonder if maybe she already knows that I like her.

 

But to answer your question, yes. The feelings that I have for her have come from my interactions with her at work. I have been talking to her a lot less lately, in an effort to distance myself from her. We'll see how this continues to go.

Edited August 4, 2013 by thatstuff99

[WordvAction]

See the thing is, you probably don't really know this girl as well as you think you do. People tend to put on fronts, especially at work. The girl you think you know may not actually be the girl you know.

 

Another hint of advice is never get stuck on the What If's? Doing that only leads to more unanswered questions and more frustration.

 

Finally, good for you for keeping the distance; do you talk to any women outside of the workplace?

[wahaha1]

Man, life is too short to regret..

U can flirt a bit w/ her to see her interest level on you, and think about what's your next action..

[Lei Ping]

There were a few things that I left out from my initial post. There was one day when we were working together, and it was just the two of us for a little bit and she very calmly asked me "Is there something you want to tell me?"

 

I didn't really know what she was referring to at the time, and granted it is possible that she could have meant anything by the question, but I can't help but wonder if maybe she already knows that I like her.

Maybe it was just an indication that she'd like a little time off with pay while her Sexual Harassment suit is settled.

 

The Woman is a coworker for crying out loud. I don't care is she looks like Eva Longoria it is not a good idea to even entertain the thought of any type of romantic involvement with her.

 

Have you any idea the hell and misery that can result from a relationship misfire with a coworker?

 

Tell you what, every time your yearning for her pops up just close your eyes for a few seconds and imagine opening her robe only to expose a pinga, ala: "The Crying Game". Then open your eyes and get back to work.