juss wondering

[Optimus Prime]

I met this chick online about 2 months ago. She lives in a town about 20 minutes away from me. We started talking on the phone and stuff. She has a wonderful personality and i really enjoy talking to her. I emailed her a picture of me and she said i was very good looking. She says that she doesn't have a scanner so she can't send me one of her. We talk almost everyday on the phone. She says that she really hopes that someday me and her will be something more than just friends. She is 19 and im 23. She says that she is really shy and that she doesn't have very much experience in dating cause she only dated a few guys. She says that im one of the sweetest guys that she has ever met. She seems to really like me alot. She describes herself to me and she doesn't sound bad at all. I keep mentioning to her that we need to meet in person, and she agrees with me, but when i ask her if she wants to meet somewhere, she says that we will sometime soon. She tells me frequently that she afraid that when we meet, that i won't like her. I really want to see her so that i can see what she looks like. I REALLY like her personality. She is a really sweet girl, but its killing me that i don't know what she looks like. Can someone please give me some insite on this, or some suggestions?

 

Thanks

[Tony T]

There is a good reason why she is terrified for you to see her in person. Chances are excellent that she has exagerated her description of herself to you. She probably weights 50-100 pounds more than she says...that is not unusual in cases where people, both men and women, are hesitate to mail their picture.

 

In some cases of super frauds, people Email pictures of one of their very attractive friends. In those cases, they never have any intention of meeting the other person. At least she hasn't done that.

 

It's not like she lives across the country. She is TWENTY minutes away. If the two of you WALK toward each other, it will take each of you only about 20 minutes or so to meet at a central point.

 

You need to ensure she is being upfront with you. Physical attraction is an important component of a relationship, right up there with sweet personality, etc. Honesty is probably the MOST important part and I don't think she is being that.

 

Tell her to snail mail a photo of herself to you. That does't require scanning. If she balks at that, tell her you will arrange to have her photo scanned and she can take it in to a copy center near her that scans pictures and you will pay for it.

 

If she hesitates at doing the above, you need to cease the relationship because serious deception exists. She also has a problem with self esteem. I have known some of the ugliest people in the world that didn't bat an eye to Email or snail mail a photo of themselves. They may have been ugly but they were honest and sincere.

 

Her shyness and inexperience with dating should have no bearing on her willingness to send you a photo, especially since you have sent one of yourself to her. If this is the way she carries on relationships, one-way, you don't need her anyway.

 

I don't think you should ever let another person do this to you. This deal doesn't sound promising at all.

[Optimus Prime]

Thanks Tony, you give such good advise. I just emailed her and told her that if she can't reveal herself to me, than i had to cease talking to her. She told me one time that she has a scanner, but doesn't know how to use it. Im really good with computers and i told her that i could walk her through over the phone on how to use it. Im so fed up with her that she is starting to piss me off. I told her once that i don't date fat people and she swears she is not fat, but i cannot beleive her because she will not show me. If she doesn't show me what she looks like by the end of the weekend, than SHE IS HISTORY!! Im a very attractive guy and i have no problems meeting girls, but this is the first situation i have been in that is like this one. Thanks again Tony for the advise!!!!!!!

 

Optimus Prime

There is a good reason why she is terrified for you to see her in person. Chances are excellent that she has exagerated her description of herself to you. She probably weights 50-100 pounds more than she says...that is not unusual in cases where people, both men and women, are hesitate to mail their picture. In some cases of super frauds, people Email pictures of one of their very attractive friends. In those cases, they never have any intention of meeting the other person. At least she hasn't done that. It's not like she lives across the country. She is TWENTY minutes away. If the two of you WALK toward each other, it will take each of you only about 20 minutes or so to meet at a central point. You need to ensure she is being upfront with you. Physical attraction is an important component of a relationship, right up there with sweet personality, etc. Honesty is probably the MOST important part and I don't think she is being that. Tell her to snail mail a photo of herself to you. That does't require scanning. If she balks at that, tell her you will arrange to have her photo scanned and she can take it in to a copy center near her that scans pictures and you will pay for it. If she hesitates at doing the above, you need to cease the relationship because serious deception exists. She also has a problem with self esteem. I have known some of the ugliest people in the world that didn't bat an eye to Email or snail mail a photo of themselves. They may have been ugly but they were honest and sincere.

 

Her shyness and inexperience with dating should have no bearing on her willingness to send you a photo, especially since you have sent one of yourself to her. If this is the way she carries on relationships, one-way, you don't need her anyway. I don't think you should ever let another person do this to you. This deal doesn't sound promising at all.

[ashesmum]

I have a question? If you're such an attractive man, why are you trying to get with someone over the internet? I'm not baggin on you, but most guys just go out and pick a chick up? As for this girl, pick someone older who will act more mature (no little games). And another good way to see how fat they are is to get a scanned pic of their DL. Has weight on there and so can get some idea of her looks. Well good luck. Tell the little girl to find someone else that'll play her games.

I met this chick online about 2 months ago. She lives in a town about 20 minutes away from me. We started talking on the phone and stuff. She has a wonderful personality and i really enjoy talking to her. I emailed her a picture of me and she said i was very good looking. She says that she doesn't have a scanner so she can't send me one of her. We talk almost everyday on the phone. She says that she really hopes that someday me and her will be something more than just friends. She is 19 and im 23. She says that she is really shy and that she doesn't have very much experience in dating cause she only dated a few guys. She says that im one of the sweetest guys that she has ever met. She seems to really like me alot. She describes herself to me and she doesn't sound bad at all. I keep mentioning to her that we need to meet in person, and she agrees with me, but when i ask her if she wants to meet somewhere, she says that we will sometime soon. She tells me frequently that she afraid that when we meet, that i won't like her. I really want to see her so that i can see what she looks like. I REALLY like her personality. She is a really sweet girl, but its killing me that i don't know what she looks like. Can someone please give me some insite on this, or some suggestions? Thanks

[Rachel]

Hi Optimus,

 

please keep up posted. Your problem is I'm sure a problem for lots of online dating people. But either way, we would love to know the outcome.

 

Good luck

[Paulie]

"I told her once that i don't date fat people"

 

-Who writes something like this in a post?

 

...Just struck me as pretty funny

 

I DON'T DATE FAT PEOPLE!!!!! Damnitt!!!!!

 

Also, to a lesser extent;

 

"Im a very attractive guy"

 

...like, maybe a 10?

 

Just poking fun where it is appropriate. Best of luck, Optimus. And I agree, if this girl doesn't show herself to you THIS WEEKEND, deep-six her tail.

 

And definitely keep us posted!

[Optimus Prime]

SO ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONLY UGLY PEOPLE OR GEEKS FIND DATES OFF THE INTERNET?????? You know nothing at all, and from my perspective, your probably a kid!!!

 

FYI

 

First of all, i go out and pick up chicks all the time.(not off the internet!!!!!) Alot of girls tell i look like one of those guys off N sync.(i think thats good) Last week i won an Abs contest at a club. Im not trying to brag or anything like that, i just think you are not very intelligent. Its hard these days to find a good looking women with a good personality. Most of them are dingy as hell. I want a chick with some intellegence. This is the first time i have ever tried the internet thing. One of my best friends is married to a wonderful lady that he met off the internet. YOU ARE BEING TOOOO DAMN JUDGEMENTAL!!!!! Im trying to get some good advise here your critizing me???

 

Go play nintendo or something kid!!!!!! lol

I have a question? If you're such an attractive man, why are you trying to get with someone over the internet? I'm not baggin on you, but most guys just go out and pick a chick up? As for this girl, pick someone older who will act more mature (no little games). And another good way to see how fat they are is to get a scanned pic of their DL. Has weight on there and so can get some idea of her looks. Well good luck. Tell the little girl to find someone else that'll play her games.

 

[Quandary]

Optimus

 

Just thought I should put my 2 cents in. Maybe she is does look like she described, but is afraid to meet you. Yeah if she is scared then why is she looking on the internet? But you never know, maybe you scared her with all your specs that she thinks she won't amount to anything. I would feel a little inadequate if I had know that you were such a great looking guy who won an Ab award and had all these accomplishments and I had nothing to impress you with. (And I am an attractive girl).

 

Why don't you try to tell her that you are not all about looks. Try being a little insecure, tell her that you are now worried that she won't like you and make her feel like she has control over the situation, and her first instinct will be to make you feel better. (Tell her you think the photo made you look better then real life).

 

Maybe you should ask her to meet you in a busy public place. Try to find out why she is so reluctant to meet you or send her photo. I don't know... just some suggestions for you, hope all pans out. (Give her the benefit of the doubt.

[Thundercracker & Starscreamer]

SO ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONLY UGLY PEOPLE OR GEEKS FIND DATES OFF THE INTERNET?????? You know nothing at all, and from my perspective, your probably a kid!!! FYI First of all, i go out and pick up chicks all the time.(not off the internet!!!!!) Alot of girls tell i look like one of those guys off N sync.(i think thats good) Last week i won an Abs contest at a club. Im not trying to brag or anything like that, i just think you are not very intelligent. Its hard these days to find a good looking women with a good personality. Most of them are dingy as hell. I want a chick with some intellegence. This is the first time i have ever tried the internet thing. One of my best friends is married to a wonderful lady that he met off the internet. YOU ARE BEING TOOOO DAMN JUDGEMENTAL!!!!! Im trying to get some good advise here your critizing me??? Go play nintendo or something kid!!!!!! lol

 

[ashesmum]

GET A CLUE!!! Did you really read what I said? I didn't say that all ugly, geeky guys look for women on the internet. And as you proved by what you wrote, you're a good looking guy who goes out and meets chicks. I'm just saying that you really can't "Meet" a really nice girl just on the internet. You actually have to see them in person, get to know them and how they act. I'm not putting people down that use the internet to try and meet someone. I'm just saying that you can't have a REAL relationship over a telephone wire. Obviously looks are important to you, so I suggest finding a woman you can look at. As for me being a kid, I can tell you I'm older than you and I have more experience in relationships judging form your "personal" problem.

SO ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONLY UGLY PEOPLE OR GEEKS FIND DATES OFF THE INTERNET?????? You know nothing at all, and from my perspective, your probably a kid!!! FYI First of all, i go out and pick up chicks all the time.(not off the internet!!!!!) Alot of girls tell i look like one of those guys off N sync.(i think thats good) Last week i won an Abs contest at a club. Im not trying to brag or anything like that, i just think you are not very intelligent. Its hard these days to find a good looking women with a good personality. Most of them are dingy as hell. I want a chick with some intellegence. This is the first time i have ever tried the internet thing. One of my best friends is married to a wonderful lady that he met off the internet. YOU ARE BEING TOOOO DAMN JUDGEMENTAL!!!!! Im trying to get some good advise here your critizing me??? Go play nintendo or something kid!!!!!! lol