Would a married man intentionally lead on another girl?

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Nope.

 

 

That is correct.

 

He has an agenda and you are allowing it.

 

I just find it very hard to believe that a guy might like me in some way. Very difficult for me to believe that, and I just believe that its all false on his part.

 

You guys must think I am really pathetic, sorry if I come across as an idiot/immature or anything else.

 

I've had relationships in the past, and any guy I have been with has never loved me, so thats why I am asking this

[TaraMaiden]

You come across that way because that's how you project yourself to be.

 

Is it an accurate picture?

How long are you going to keep playing into this stupid game?

[Trimmer]

Thanks. So there is not a married guy or any guy for that matter' date=' who would flirt, touch, be very nice to a girl, everthing else that comes with it, and it is never false, or he is never lying about his interest? A man always has an agenda when it comes to a woman, and no man would ever flirt etc with a woman, only that he wants something out of it. Would that be correct? Would guys agree with this too?[/quote']

You're being so precise in splitting these hairs - asking if every man would do this, and if a man would never do that... You're looking for absolutes in a world full of exceptions. And that's not what you really want to know anyway. You won't get what you want to know about this man, by drawing generalizations about all men and then applying them to this man. What you need to do is figure out this man, and go from there. Here's what you really want to get at:

I just find it very hard to believe that a guy might like me in some way. Very difficult for me to believe that, and I just believe that its all false on his part.

 

I've had relationships in the past, and any guy I have been with has never loved me, so thats why I am asking this

So let's be very careful in answering your question then, because I think there are some subtleties here. I think you're use of the term "like me" is a bit problematic, because you are also later on referring to guys you've been with not "loving you", and I think that muddies the water a bit with respect to this man.

 

What I think is that he is genuinely attracted to you - I don't see any reason he would act this way falsely if he weren't. He would just be neutral or ignore you. However, on the issue of whether he either likes or loves you, which seems to be your real question, I think you need to be cautious.

 

I think it's safe to say that as a married man pursuing you, at a minimum, he's masturbating his ego in a big way, sending all this attention your direction, and getting a positive response from you. At a minimum, this feeds a need in him - feeds his ego, bit time. I'm sure he likes that.

 

As to whether he likes you as a person, from one human being to another, I think that's an open question. I see two possibilities here, with some gray area between them, of course:

 

*) He's a user, a "player" and doesn't really care about you, except that you are attractive and all the attention going both directions feeds his ego;

 

*) He's a generally decent guy who really probably does "like" you as a person, and has stepped over some boundaries in his marriage to continue getting his ego stroked by you.

 

My point being: be careful. It sounds like you want to know the experience of being "liked" and "loved" by a decent person, and I completely understand that. But here you are, not being able to be sure of this person's motives.

 

I think it's safe to say he doesn't "dislike" you, otherwise he would not be paying attention to you - that seems obvious on its face.

 

But here's the problem with having such low self-esteem and such hunger for a man's approval that you would welcome this attention from a married man: you really can't tell, unless the "relationship" goes further into the danger zone, whether he is a sort-of-decent guy who really likes-you-for-you and has stumbled into a bad marital situation by pursuing you, or whether he's some sort of player who "likes" the idea of your clothes piled on the floor of a hotel room - or something on a spectrum between.

 

Either way, though, you won't have an absolute answer as to whether this man "likes" or "loves" you, until he has crossed the line so far that he can't go back, at which point, you have to ask: are you so very desperate that it is worth getting the love you crave from this kind of man, in this type of scenario?

 

This is going to sound like I'm trying to be an armchair psychologist, but I am curious, what was your home life like as an adolescent, specifically, your relationship with each of your parents?

Edited August 7, 2013 by Trimmer

[CALOVELY]

I just find it very hard to believe that a guy might like me in some way. Very difficult for me to believe that, and I just believe that its all false on his part.

 

You guys must think I am really pathetic, sorry if I come across as an idiot/immature or anything else.

 

I've had relationships in the past, and any guy I have been with has never loved me, so thats why I am asking this

 

This guy doesn't love you either. He is hoping his barter system pays off. Give you attention, adoration and gifts and you give him sex. Those are his intentions.

[HannahRose]

Everyone is telling you, but you don't seem to want to hear. I'm going to be embarrassingly blunt: You are a hole to plug, if you get my meaning. Any hole will do. It doesn't have to be you.

[2sure]

A vulnerable woman is perfect pickings for a married man interested in an affair. Today, next week, next year. Nice to have that in his pocket.

 

Confident, strong, secure women do not date unavailable men. Ever. Period.

They don't share, they don't do part time, sympathy for unhappy MM does not turn them on.

[Trimmer]

Everyone is telling you, but you don't seem to want to hear. I'm going to be embarrassingly blunt: You are a hole to plug, if you get my meaning. Any hole will do. It doesn't have to be you.

You've got to admit, for being blunt, that was still just a tiny bit metaphorical...