Stone Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 I meet with a client today and his new beautiful wife she is 19 from Russia and he is in his late 50's, they seemed happy. I am noticing alot of this lately in my area, alot of the older divorced or never married business men are marrying ladies from Russia, Check, Equdore, Guanamala, Aisa ect. and it seems to be working for them, everybody APPEARS to be happy. I asked one gentlemen why he married a woman from a diffrent country ( he left the US to go find a wife) and he said that American woman are spoiled. and that woman that are in these situations wait on their man hand and foot, highly respect them, cook, clean and treat them like kings... I just don't see how people can marry someone with such a language barrier or for citizenship. It puzzles me... Anyone know anyone in this situation? how does it work for them? Do you think they last? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 I don't know anyone in a situation like this but I would think that if the women are respected as an equal in the relationship & treated well, couples like this can work, why not? Love isn't everyone's pre-requisite for marriage. I also think that a lot of these women may just decide to leave their new husbands once they've obtained all the necessary documentation to stay in the country without him. It would be interesting to her the view point of one of these wives. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 no experience, but: i know a guy here at work, i think he is about 45-ish, divorced with 2 kids. he started talking to a woman through an international "dating" service- which is kinda the mail-order thing, but you can talk with the person via email....never met her, spoke with her only a couple weeks. He totally fell in love. The woman spoke very-little to no english. About 3-4 months ago he went to Thailand to get her and bring her back. Since they have been back and together, i have never seen him so happy, and she is sooo in love and happy with him. They go out everywhere together cause they cannot get enough of each other. It is sooo sweet. i think it is really neat. Now some of these Brides, i think they just want to get out, so they do this...which is probably way better than what they would have if they stayed in their countries......Hmmmm.....it is not really a bad idea.....i mean it's not like these women are gonna be getting jobs and having to pay there way for a good year after they are married...or longer. Maybe we could start an Ebay Bride Bid....that would be great! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 I wonder what the price is on these? Who pimps them out, who gets the money?! Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 ladies from Russia, Check, Equdore, Guanamala, Aisa ect. I just don't see how people can marry someone with such a language barrier Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stone Posted November 1, 2004 Author Share Posted November 1, 2004 Originally posted by tiki I wonder what the price is on these? Who pimps them out, who gets the money?! Thats what I want to know I am assuming it would be their faimly but who knows Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather I meet with a client today and his new beautiful wife she is 19 from Russia and he is in his late 50's, they seemed happy. I am noticing alot of this lately in my area, alot of the older divorced or never married business men are marrying ladies from Russia, Check, Equdore, Guanamala, Aisa ect. and it seems to be working for them, everybody APPEARS to be happy. I asked one gentlemen why he married a woman from a diffrent country ( he left the US to go find a wife) and he said that American woman are spoiled. and that woman that are in these situations wait on their man hand and foot, highly respect them, cook, clean and treat them like kings... I just don't see how people can marry someone with such a language barrier or for citizenship. It puzzles me... Anyone know anyone in this situation? how does it work for them? Do you think they last? My mother is Vietnamese and my Dad is American. He is 22 years older than her. They have been married for over 30 years. It worked really well for them (they met during the war). My mom definately has VERY different attitude than American women...my sisters and I have this mutant hybrid sensibility that is half asian half american. I've talked about this before. My mom grew up in a culture that does not idolize love the way we do in the west. She always told me to never marry for love. Marry a man who has a good work ethic, will make pretty babies, who will be a good father, who treats women with respect. She and my Dad have a logical, engineer-type approach to constructing a relationship. Dad was married twice before he met Mom , both times for less than 6 months! My uncle also is using a marriage broker. I swear it's almost like eharmony.com....they give you all these psychological batteries and personality tests. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 I had never heard about this. Are you serious? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 This has been going on for many, many years. Since before I was born and since before my parents were born...... I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as both parties are in agreement and treat each other respectfully. It's not like slavery. Marriage is nothing more than a contract. I can certainly understand why men would prefer a wife from a culture that puts men as the head of the household and makes no demands on them other than supporting a family financially and not abusing them, a culture that nurtures and guides female children to grow up to wait on their man hand and foot, highly respect them, cook, clean and treat them like kings... I'm not surprised. I love my husband, but I don't wait on him hand and foot (or anything in the middle!) and he doesn't expect me to. If he wants a wife like that, well, I guess he would have to order one! I think it's interesting about the language 'barrier' though. how many couples in America who speak the same language can't communicate. You get two people who understand each other's cultures and know what they can expect from each other, and language is secondary. It might even help their communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stone Posted November 1, 2004 Author Share Posted November 1, 2004 MARRIAGE BROKER?? what a cool job to have So am I right in assuming that American woman arn't in the market? I'd love to sit home and cook and clean and raise children SIgn me up Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather MARRIAGE BROKER?? what a cool job to have So am I right in assuming that American woman arn't in the market? I'd love to sit home and cook and clean and raise children SIgn me up snark. that's funny. My mom actually came over here, learned english, got her master's degree in nursing and now has her own clinic. My Dad, because he lost the use of his legs and lost his hearing in Korea and Vietnam, has been retired for my entire life. My Dad actually stayed home and raised the kids. My mom said in Vietnam, mothers will actually pinch their son's nuts to punish them for misbehaving. The other traditional punishment is caning, which my mom used liberally. In my uncle's case, you get these, I wanna say "portfolios", but it's like a packet with test results and essays and pictures, curriculum vitae, resume. Some of the women are Vietnamese but born and raised in the states. I always laugh when American women think that Asian women are all subservient. My mom kicks ass on a regular basis. She is crazy, though. She works, cooks, cleans, raised a family and went to school, sponsored her entire immediate family to come to the states (muy expensivo), takes care of her grandkids, and likes to reupholster furniture, lay tile and build things in her spare time. She totally does everything for my Dad, though, the man hasn't picked out his own clothes in 30+ years. But when we have big meals the men and children get to eat first. The women all eat standing up in the kitchen. When my husband first met my family he was all freaked out because we sat around the table watching him eat, since he was the "honored guest". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stone Posted November 1, 2004 Author Share Posted November 1, 2004 Thats awasome that you have diffrent culture's to pass on to your children Did your father learn to speak her language? Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 The women all eat standing up in the kitchen. Ahh I would never make it in your family. I don't see anything wrong with it either, as long as both parties get respect and are happy together. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather Thats awasome that you have diffrent culture's to pass on to your children Did your father learn to speak her language? he asked her to marry him in vietnamese but accidentally ended up asking her to be his grandmother! (ba noi = grandma, ba sa = my wife) He knows a little bit, but she also speaks french, which he knows as well. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 he asked her to marry him in vietnamese but accidentally ended up asking her to be his grandmother! (ba noi = grandma, ba sa = my wife) That is so cute! Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 I have seen this situation A LOT. here is what happens: girl wants to get out of her country sooo bad so she marries an older man in the states. she comes here, learns the language, gets use to the lifestyle, maybe even learns a trade or gets an eduction and then SHE LEAVES HIM AND MILKS HIM FOR HIS CASH. I've seen it so much- it's always the same story. most 20 year old pretty women don't really want to be with a 50 yr old they don't even know- specially once they have a taste in the 'land of opportuniy' Link to post Share on other sites
arcadia Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 oh yeah.. i know ALL about this. My current boyfriend's ex-wife was foreign.. and although he has never shared the details with me, i do know that they had to get married in a hurry so she could stay in the states and she left him after a few years. After his divorce, i think he was seriously considering a mail-order bride.. he showed us one of the tapes he got from an agency in russia that sponsered cruises to go and meet girls and take one home. pretty crazy stuff.. he denies that he was going to actually do it, but we all think he was! He loves the foreign girls.. (sucks for me since i can't exactly become foreign!) Link to post Share on other sites
Withnail Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 Theres a high women-men ratio in Russia too, and western women are more 'difficult', so the guys that ponder this say. I guess its a thing of conveniance on both sides. Link to post Share on other sites
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