guiltyguilty Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Hello. This is my first time posting on this board. I've looked it over many times and have always thought it to be a very helpful way for people to get advice and feedback from others, especially in a private setting. I am writing to get your opinions on a topic that is very sensitive to me. First let me say that I am the type of person who has always thought of cheating as wrong. And I have never cheated before. I'm in my 30's. I have a boyfriend of a year now who I love with all my heart and soul. He is so wonderful to me and that is why I feel so awful about something that happened recently. I went out of town with my girlfriends one night. I don't typically drink much, but everyone kept buying me drinks and I kept on drinking. And that was my first mistake. There was a guy where we were at that kept talking to me, and hanging out with me and my friends, along with his friends. Throughout the evening, I wanted to get rid of him b/c I knew he was flirting. I told my friends I wanted to leave, but one wanted to stay. Anyway, to make a long story short (sort of), at the end of the night, I think he kissed me or I kissed him. It was a peck I believe. I honestly can't even remember. I remember his friend kept telling me to kiss him and I kept saying no. But I think I actually did. I feel so bad about this, that it's making me feel sick. Because I feel guilty. It's been a couple of months. I felt better for a while, but recently started thinking about it again. I don't want to lose him. I am finally happy and I try so hard to make him happy, but now I feel like I screwed up. Am I awful? Should I tell him? Thank you for any advice you can give. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Tell him. Be honest. Don't do it again. Ever. Link to post Share on other sites
bryanp Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Hello, If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want your boyfriend to be honest with you? Either you are an honest person or not. Which type of person do you wish to be? Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 It's not that bad. You need to come to grips with the fact that you are implicitly using your drunkeness as the excuse, you need to acknowledge that a trustworthy bf/gf will work hard not only not to do anything like cheating but will also avoid situations where something unfortunate could occur. Going out drinking with your friends is one thing, getting drunk and out of control (and its not okay to say "they kept buying drinks".. are you 10?) with a group of men is BOUND to have problems. That said, this is not the worst, so I'd let him know what happened and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guiltyguilty Posted November 2, 2004 Author Share Posted November 2, 2004 Hi. To be honest, I don't know if I'd want to know, if the roles were reversed. I found out about a week after that happened that he'd been to a strip club and got a lap dance, and actually later wished I'd never found out. I guess I tend not to think of that as cheating, but it still bothered me. I do know I'll never do it again. Ever. I'll never put myself in that situation again. I've tried to punish myself for it. I stopped listening to the radio for a while, which I love to do. I've cried a lot, and I try so hard to be good to him all the time. I love him and don't want to lose him. Thank you for the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 This is coming from a secure and confident dude. I'd probably not like if it my girl kissed another dude but wouldn't make it a big deal out of it cause crap happens. and it's just a kiss. Again, this doesn't mean I like it - I'll probably not take you that seriously as a committed partner though if I saw this happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guiltyguilty Posted November 2, 2004 Author Share Posted November 2, 2004 Originally posted by DJ_Dork This is coming from a secure and confident dude. I'd probably not like if it my girl kissed another dude but wouldn't make it a big deal out of it cause crap happens. and it's just a kiss. Again, this doesn't mean I like it - I'll probably not take you that seriously as a committed partner though if I saw this happening. Thanks. Do you think I should tell him? I'm afraid if I do tell him, he won't think I'm committed and I am. I just made a mistake. I know it'll never happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
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